Day 139 - learning to experience myself confidently, while still walking through fears, and suppressions

When and as I see myself experiencing resistance in relationship to K, when greeting myself, and wanting to talk, I stop, I breath, and I walk through those experiences, by understanding that he is there to enjoy, to get to know, and to reflect on within reactions I have within myself.

I see and realize that confidence is a point that needs to be learned, but also applied within myself, through the principles of what is best for what is here, which as explained, what's best for what's here, is what I can do to best support myself, within what I'm doing, and how that relates to my environment, which should be the primary point of what gives myself confidence, and also to place myself in these environments more and more, to better discover myself, within how I can better support myself in being physically confident, so that I'm more prepared to face myself within any environment that comes my way.

I commit myself to practice walking through these experiences of fear, and AT&T he same time, focus on what's here, what's most supportive for what's here, whichw I thin myself, would allow me to be confident within myself. Within this, I commit myself to push through my limits, through my patterns, by applying myself to what's most supportive, and within this, actually in fact letting go of old patterns, by applying myself within my environment FOR REAL.

I commit myself to come to Starbucks everyday, and to see how I experience myself when coming to Starbucks, how it experienced myself before, and to use the principle of equality, which what I laid out as an example for what's here at Starbucks - people talking, me having the opportunity to talk to them as equals, and to see for myself how I can push through fears one by one, and how I can eventually get to the point of learning how I relate to people in public. Within this, I commit myself to take the first step within talking to people, by inviting someone I know to Starbucks, and getting to know them, seeing how I relate to them, and within this, building physical confidence, by applying myself to socializing with other people, and really learning what it means to be equal to others within socializing.

I see and realize within myself, that judging others, and the fear of others judging me, is a point of taking on, through SOCIALIZING. Lol, it's like what the fuck am I going to allow to hold me back, because I never know how I could actually see myself within communicating with others, untill I actually just get out there and do this. Within this, when and as I see myself fearing judgement towards others, and them judging me, I stop, I breath, and I walk through this point, by investigating myself in how I've accepted and allowed myself to judge others, and fear others judging me.

I commit myself to gift myself the discovery of what it means to be confident, what it means to remain for real confident, within the understanding of equality, and self directive principles, which is - supporting myself as life to walk this process, to be the best version of myself I can be, and to live that effectively and with integrity. Within this, I commit myself to walk through this point day by day, and to continue we my commitments as a point to support myself into remaining physically confident, and to do this for physical support in facing myself and this world, and to learn how I effect others, and how I'm effected by others within my environment.