So today I am learning to experience confidence, what it means to be confident, and what it means to face myself within the midst of being consistent within experiencing confidence. Within this, I am going to walk through what I'm experiencing here at Starbucks.
I met a cool guy here at Starbucks, and we know eachother through a past girl I used to mess around with, so within this I'm experiencing resistance to communicate, and also resistance to face the experiences within other people talking, and how i relate to those people, and how I relate to the people around me, in terms of seeing where I've limited myself within being able to experience myself confidently.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience fear within myself, towards K, in and as the fear that he will judge me for writting. Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to judge myself within how I experience myself confidently, in relationship to K.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to therefor seperate myself in relationship to K, and to fear experiencing myself confidently, as equal to him, and to be able to express myself how I intended on expressing myself, which was to say hi to him, be grateful for his presence, and then to write my blog.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto the point of confidence, as a relationship to positivity. Thus within this, I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself, to see and realize, that confidence isn't something so called "positive" but that it's the most supportive way to experience myself, and to share that with others. Thus within this, if or give myself for accepting and allowing myself to, instead of facing myself when I see myself facing reactions, and to rather use confidence in myself to support that point, I allow myself to relate suppression systems to try to hold onto confidence within and as a point of self interest.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to therefor try to remain confident, within the point of trying to hold onto suppression systems, instead of knowing, and actually being confident, like a physical confidence, that I can face myself, that is can continue being confident, and AT&T he same time walk through these experiences. So within this, I see and realize that confidence takes practice, within allowing myself to walk through experiences, and not judge myself within those experiences, but to rather gift myself confidence, within the understanding of why it requires being confident to face myself within fears, within reactions, within points that usually have caused myself to fall in the past.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to depend on my environment to be confident, instead of using what's most supportive in my environment to gift myself confidence, and to gift myself the ability to face myself within fears, and within reactions. So for example, what's most supportive in Starbucks, where I'm at now - people are talking, so this means people are socializing, which is somethi that shows me, that there are people equal to me here in my environment, that I could meet, that I could get to know. So what's the poi that I fear within this - I fear that it's "awkward" to just talk to people, to interact with people. Because in the system we've been taught to isolate ourselves within our own minds, what we feel, how we feel towards others, how we perceive and judge others, that this should somehow dictate all of us to be "kept to ourselves". So this is something to face within this blog.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear talking to other people. Within this fearing that this should dictate and limit myself from being physically confident, physically focused, and should somehow be a reason for me to not express myself within interaction, which within itself should be a responsibility for me to take on, because talking to people, is supportive, talking to people, is a way to have the oppurtunity of lifting people up. Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself within talking to people out of fear of judging them, fear of them judging me, and thus within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I and other people, are supposed to judge eachother.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thin that I'm better than others, that somehow my confidence is something that should be represented to them, as something they can't be. Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to thus not simply be confident, for myself, as a point to gift myself, to practically live, and not expect others to pick up on it, but to simply remain physically confident, and learn how to remain confident, as a point of being able to support myself around others, which will inevitably ripple, and allow my environment to potentially be supportive within what I'm living as.
Self corrective statements will be placed in part 2.
Friday, November 13, 2015
Thursday, November 12, 2015
Day 138 - resistance and resentment towards my father part 2 Self corrective statements
When and as I see myself going into anger and resentment towards my father, and into suppressive mechanisms, to where I want to just hide, or pretend like it's not there, I stop, I breath, and I direct the point through applying one replacement point each week, to where I replace the suppression point, into a directive, and applicable point. Within this, I commit myself to replace the suppressive point from the point of fear of "he is coming in my room to yell at me or attack me emotionally in some way", to applying this self forgiveness statement, which I will write down in my notes on my phone - "I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear my dad coming to yell at me or attack me emotionally when I hear him potentially coming to my bedroom, to the point that I get a shockwave in my chest, and tense up, and want to yell and attack him back from what I reacted in fear of him attacking me".
I commit myself to apply this self forgiveness statement each time my father comes back to my room, or I hear him coming back to my room.
I commit myself to unlock one point each day, as to how I try to please other people, in relationship to the fear that something is wrong with me, and to always investigate how this relates to me resenting my father, and becoming angry every time I have the experience of trying to please other people out of thinking negatively about myself. Within this, I see and realize that this will allow myself to discover who I truly am as self expression, in talking to others, in talking to my father, and in sharing with others, and being able to experience and be confident within myself without depending on the reassurance of other people.
When and as I see myself limiting myself, in blaming my father, or father figures for how I experience myself, and what I've accepted and allowed myself to become, is top, and I breath, and I instead, direct that emotion, through applying self responsibility to change myself, and to learning how to enjoy that point, without limiting myself under the relationship I've created to blaming my father within my experience of anger and resentment.
I commit myself to practice facing this point, and to take self responsibility in remaining stable and focused, within the understanding, that is can't face the entire embodiment of this point, but can rather create a system of direction within myself, through applying step by step tools, to face this point of anger and resentment, and hiding from it, in relationship to my father, and father figures. Thus within this, when and as I see myself becoming overwhelmed, while participating in self responsibilities, and being around other people, I stop, I breath, and I direct myself with finding a moment to forgive myself for the experience, until it's released, and within this, applying this as much as possible, until I can direct myself within my responsibilities more consistently and effectively.
I commit myself to direct myself in stability towards male figures in my life, and to slowly investigate my relationship with them, and to apply practical, and commonsensical respect, and application to communicating with them, in order to prevent abusive communication, and to build a supportive relationship with male figures.
I commit myself to breath, and remain here, and take self responsibility, without excuses, and without fears to define who I am.
I commit myself to discover myself in relationship to my father, and make figures, within this pattern of "hope,then relationship, then resentment" and to log this point in my notes.
I commit myself to apply myself to one point per week, of where I have defined my relationship to process, people, and myself, support systems, etc. as stable, that is really just an emotional attachment to suppressing a fear. Within this, I commit myself to open up the fear of "wanting people to like my shares and posts on Facebook", and to apply self forgiveness and self corrective statements to this fear, and how I've limited myself to be consistent within this world, and within myself. I will write this in my notes.
I commit myself to apply this self forgiveness statement each time my father comes back to my room, or I hear him coming back to my room.
I commit myself to unlock one point each day, as to how I try to please other people, in relationship to the fear that something is wrong with me, and to always investigate how this relates to me resenting my father, and becoming angry every time I have the experience of trying to please other people out of thinking negatively about myself. Within this, I see and realize that this will allow myself to discover who I truly am as self expression, in talking to others, in talking to my father, and in sharing with others, and being able to experience and be confident within myself without depending on the reassurance of other people.
When and as I see myself limiting myself, in blaming my father, or father figures for how I experience myself, and what I've accepted and allowed myself to become, is top, and I breath, and I instead, direct that emotion, through applying self responsibility to change myself, and to learning how to enjoy that point, without limiting myself under the relationship I've created to blaming my father within my experience of anger and resentment.
I commit myself to practice facing this point, and to take self responsibility in remaining stable and focused, within the understanding, that is can't face the entire embodiment of this point, but can rather create a system of direction within myself, through applying step by step tools, to face this point of anger and resentment, and hiding from it, in relationship to my father, and father figures. Thus within this, when and as I see myself becoming overwhelmed, while participating in self responsibilities, and being around other people, I stop, I breath, and I direct myself with finding a moment to forgive myself for the experience, until it's released, and within this, applying this as much as possible, until I can direct myself within my responsibilities more consistently and effectively.
I commit myself to direct myself in stability towards male figures in my life, and to slowly investigate my relationship with them, and to apply practical, and commonsensical respect, and application to communicating with them, in order to prevent abusive communication, and to build a supportive relationship with male figures.
I commit myself to breath, and remain here, and take self responsibility, without excuses, and without fears to define who I am.
I commit myself to discover myself in relationship to my father, and make figures, within this pattern of "hope,then relationship, then resentment" and to log this point in my notes.
I commit myself to apply myself to one point per week, of where I have defined my relationship to process, people, and myself, support systems, etc. as stable, that is really just an emotional attachment to suppressing a fear. Within this, I commit myself to open up the fear of "wanting people to like my shares and posts on Facebook", and to apply self forgiveness and self corrective statements to this fear, and how I've limited myself to be consistent within this world, and within myself. I will write this in my notes.
Day 138 - resistance and resentment towards my father
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience resistance when around my father, to where when I am around him, I want to just hide from him, and just put on a happy face and limit myself from being able to express myself openly with my father.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience anger and resentment towards my father, to where when I hear him coming in my room, or when I enter the house, I have this tendency to prepare myself in a suppressive state of appearance, to where I suppress the anger, and I suppress what I experience within myself towards him, to the point that I try to do everything I can to hold back from just being nasty to him, and to hold back from just yelling at him, or retaliating against him.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist my father due to the anger that I have built up within myself, to where I go into backchat of positivity, to where "I'm better than him and everyone else, and it can do anything and he can't stop me because he's always been destructive, and been mean and nasty to me". Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself, based off of suppressing this anger and resentment relationship towards my father.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to please my father, and other people in my environment, within the idea that something is wrong with me, that is my fathers fault for feeling that something is wrong with me. Thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold anger and resentment towards my father, out of seeing that I've accepted and allowed myself to limit my expression, and that this is somehow my fathers fault, for having been raised by him, and for having experienced myself negatively around him.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe, that I have to live limited, under the resentment and anger that I've experienced towards my father, due to the fact that I've always accepted and allowed this point of resentment and anger to exist within myself, and shape myself, and make me who I've become. Within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame my father, and become absolutely angry with my father, because I've seen and realized that I've become somebody who's limited, in constant fear, in constant denial, in constant suppression.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to hide and run away from this point, out of wanting to deny the experiences I've accepted and allowed within myself, and that I want to just hide and suppress all of this, because I've been so used to running away, and not facing it.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to depend on male figures, to be there for me, where I want them to be apart of my life, and want myself to be apart of there's, but that when it comes down to a consistent relationship, and a consistent point of support, I fail, because I've related male figures as someone I have high hopes for to be there for me, but then when it comes to being in relationship to them, I simply resent them, and end up abusing them, and not having a healthy relationship with them.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not slow down, and breath, and apply what is here, as a point of reference to slow myself down, and self direct what the problem is.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to expect my experiences, and relationships, to be based off of the foundation that I've related towards my father, which is hope, followed by relationship, then followed by resentment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to give up, in fear that I can't face this point within myself, in fear that I will lose everyone, and fear that I will lose my support system, and family, and destenis support. Within this, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see and realize, that I have related my consistency to process, and to my relationships, as a definition of emotional attachment, and emotional dependcy, to remain stable, and to remain in the point of feeling stable, when not seeing and realizing, that this has all been a self deceptive mechanism to remain stable in my old approach to relationships. Within this, I commit myself to let go of this point, to look at what's here, and apply myself within self directive principles, and breathing.
SCS will follow in part 2.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience anger and resentment towards my father, to where when I hear him coming in my room, or when I enter the house, I have this tendency to prepare myself in a suppressive state of appearance, to where I suppress the anger, and I suppress what I experience within myself towards him, to the point that I try to do everything I can to hold back from just being nasty to him, and to hold back from just yelling at him, or retaliating against him.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist my father due to the anger that I have built up within myself, to where I go into backchat of positivity, to where "I'm better than him and everyone else, and it can do anything and he can't stop me because he's always been destructive, and been mean and nasty to me". Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself, based off of suppressing this anger and resentment relationship towards my father.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to please my father, and other people in my environment, within the idea that something is wrong with me, that is my fathers fault for feeling that something is wrong with me. Thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold anger and resentment towards my father, out of seeing that I've accepted and allowed myself to limit my expression, and that this is somehow my fathers fault, for having been raised by him, and for having experienced myself negatively around him.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe, that I have to live limited, under the resentment and anger that I've experienced towards my father, due to the fact that I've always accepted and allowed this point of resentment and anger to exist within myself, and shape myself, and make me who I've become. Within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame my father, and become absolutely angry with my father, because I've seen and realized that I've become somebody who's limited, in constant fear, in constant denial, in constant suppression.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to hide and run away from this point, out of wanting to deny the experiences I've accepted and allowed within myself, and that I want to just hide and suppress all of this, because I've been so used to running away, and not facing it.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to depend on male figures, to be there for me, where I want them to be apart of my life, and want myself to be apart of there's, but that when it comes down to a consistent relationship, and a consistent point of support, I fail, because I've related male figures as someone I have high hopes for to be there for me, but then when it comes to being in relationship to them, I simply resent them, and end up abusing them, and not having a healthy relationship with them.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not slow down, and breath, and apply what is here, as a point of reference to slow myself down, and self direct what the problem is.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to expect my experiences, and relationships, to be based off of the foundation that I've related towards my father, which is hope, followed by relationship, then followed by resentment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to give up, in fear that I can't face this point within myself, in fear that I will lose everyone, and fear that I will lose my support system, and family, and destenis support. Within this, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see and realize, that I have related my consistency to process, and to my relationships, as a definition of emotional attachment, and emotional dependcy, to remain stable, and to remain in the point of feeling stable, when not seeing and realizing, that this has all been a self deceptive mechanism to remain stable in my old approach to relationships. Within this, I commit myself to let go of this point, to look at what's here, and apply myself within self directive principles, and breathing.
SCS will follow in part 2.
Day 138 - standing in line, fearing reaction, and testing patients
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to a lengthy line at the pharmacy, as negative.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to assume that others are experiencing themselves in a negative way because the line is long. Thus within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project my negativity towards others, within what I was already experiencing within myself - worthless, incompetent, judge mental, a bad person.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel uncofident about my process, and thus myself, and then fear being in a line at the pharmacy.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow the sounds, an images of other people, Limit myself from being able to stand in line at the pharmacy, in a confident maner.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel in a rush, when going in line at the pharmacy, with the dea that how I'm feeling, dictates my experience while standing in line at the pharmacy.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to isolate myself from other people, and have this narsasistic experience within myself towards other people, when I walk into the store to go get in line at the pharmacy.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to thus isolate my experience of myself, where I want to experience positivity, and thus within this, create fear of others being negative, to where I isolate myself within myself, and separate myself from others, when going to stand in line at the pharmacy.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowin myself, to therefor relate these experiences, to a lengthy line with people, to where I limit myself from enjoying standing in line at the pharmacy, and enjoy the environment, and get to reflect myself from my environment effectively, and from the people around me.
When and as I see myself, isolating myself from the environment, to suppress my experiences and emotions, I stop, and breath, and I find a moment for myself to speak self forgiveness. Within this, I also commit myself to focus on my physical movement, and to let go of focusin my attention towards others, an then from this point, relate my physical existence an movement, to others around me.
When an as I see myself thinking that others are negative, or that they intend on taking away my "positive" experience, I stop, I breath, and I direct myself through focusing on what I'm doing, to what my responsibility is, and how I can support myself in the task at hand.
I commit myself to write on how I can communicate with others in a supportive way, regardless of what I'm experiencing, an investigating in depth in how I relate mysel to others, while in negative experiences, as well as positive experiences.
Day 138 - Dealing with anger, and resistance to change, while out and about
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel angry, and resist directing my emotions, an my realizations, while out and about.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to become angry when I see something in facing, and so within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to suppress facing myself throughout my day, instead of practically directing myself beforehand, and living that consistent directive principle.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to depend on other people, as a positive energy point, of wanting others to be nice to me, instead of reflecting and seeing that I am the only one to face myself within these emotions.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize, that directing these points of anger and resistance, will take time, and consistency, building, and applying tools and creating myself, to the point where I can be more effective in managing anger and resistance.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to depend on my process emotionally, as a want for success, instead of practically using my ability to apply myself, through what's here, and what I require taking self responsibility for.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to therefor fear failure, when not seeing and realizing, that I can always apply breathing, focusing, and reflecting, within my best ability, and that I can always bring myself back to directing my feelings of anger, and what interconnects with that anger.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing mysel to create anger while taking self responsibility, within the idea that I am inevitably going to abdicate self responsibility. This within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself., to have created and existence within myself, as abdicating self responsibility, self awareness, and self direction, and self management to my experience with anger.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to depend on others, as a emotional suppression system to not face myself, and to not work with these points of anger, which within this, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see and realize, that this will and is the cause of resistance to facing myself in and as the experience of anger.
When and as I see mself resisting, I stop, I breath, and I focus on reflection to what I'm feeling, and I focus on breathing, and I do not judge myself within what I'm feeling or expressing, but direct it as much as possible, in order to manage my anger.
Day 137 - resentment and anger
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have resentment and anger, and to have defined myself as resentment and anger.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to become resentful towards F when I feel he has the intention of keeping me trapped within my emotions, when not seeing and realizing, that I have all control over my emotions, and that he is simply a point that I've kept within my mind, to where I have built up anger towards him, and resentment.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to experience anger and resentment while writing this, instead of breathing and applying self forgiveness, as a practical release.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to verify this emotion of resentment and anger, to where I have embodied it within myself, to where I have made it out to be difficult, because I've simply accumulated it within myself.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to feel anger and resentment towards f,when he comes off to me as blaming me within my perception, or trying to place myself as inferior to him when doing something.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have anger and resentment towards F, for when I was a child, he would tell me I did something wrong with a mannerism and voice that came off as negative, to where when I hear him say something that I perceive as that negative experience, I go into reaction, of wanting to retaliate in my mind, or blame him for what I'm experiencing within myself.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to go into denial of this point, through positivity, or to where I want to focus my attention towards other things, such as other people, or wanting to eat, or wanting to play music to suppress the fear and the emotion within myself.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to blame F for my experience of resentment and anger, for growing up with him durring my life, and being at a point of unconfident within myself to where when I see that I'm starting to feel confident, I gradually start to experience an unconfident point within myself, to where I relate back to what F had told me.
Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to experience anger and resentment towards F, when I remember the times he told me that "you aren't doing it right, you're stupid" or where he showed aggression, and I picked it up as negative.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to try and analyze my mind, without actually directing it physically, and not learning how to direct this anger and resentment towards F, and to simply let it go through self forgiveness.
When and as I see myself experiencing resentment and anger towards F, I stop and breath, and I direct myself to understanding that these emotions are from one point in my memory, that I require deconstructing, and figuring out what the reasoning is for that particular point of resentment and anger.
When and as I see myself activating resentment and the want to retaliate towards F, I stop, I breath, and I let go of the blame, I let go of the emotions, through applying to what's here, and to focus on the point in a reflecting manner, to where I can release this point of anger and resentment towards F.
I commit myself to apply myself to breathing, and focusing on what I'm doing around my responsibilities, and to let this point go.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to become resentful towards F when I feel he has the intention of keeping me trapped within my emotions, when not seeing and realizing, that I have all control over my emotions, and that he is simply a point that I've kept within my mind, to where I have built up anger towards him, and resentment.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to experience anger and resentment while writing this, instead of breathing and applying self forgiveness, as a practical release.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to verify this emotion of resentment and anger, to where I have embodied it within myself, to where I have made it out to be difficult, because I've simply accumulated it within myself.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to feel anger and resentment towards f,when he comes off to me as blaming me within my perception, or trying to place myself as inferior to him when doing something.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have anger and resentment towards F, for when I was a child, he would tell me I did something wrong with a mannerism and voice that came off as negative, to where when I hear him say something that I perceive as that negative experience, I go into reaction, of wanting to retaliate in my mind, or blame him for what I'm experiencing within myself.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to go into denial of this point, through positivity, or to where I want to focus my attention towards other things, such as other people, or wanting to eat, or wanting to play music to suppress the fear and the emotion within myself.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to blame F for my experience of resentment and anger, for growing up with him durring my life, and being at a point of unconfident within myself to where when I see that I'm starting to feel confident, I gradually start to experience an unconfident point within myself, to where I relate back to what F had told me.
Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to experience anger and resentment towards F, when I remember the times he told me that "you aren't doing it right, you're stupid" or where he showed aggression, and I picked it up as negative.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to try and analyze my mind, without actually directing it physically, and not learning how to direct this anger and resentment towards F, and to simply let it go through self forgiveness.
When and as I see myself experiencing resentment and anger towards F, I stop and breath, and I direct myself to understanding that these emotions are from one point in my memory, that I require deconstructing, and figuring out what the reasoning is for that particular point of resentment and anger.
When and as I see myself activating resentment and the want to retaliate towards F, I stop, I breath, and I let go of the blame, I let go of the emotions, through applying to what's here, and to focus on the point in a reflecting manner, to where I can release this point of anger and resentment towards F.
I commit myself to apply myself to breathing, and focusing on what I'm doing around my responsibilities, and to let this point go.
Day 137 - fear being alone within my fears
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear being alone within my fears.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear experiencing turmoil within myself, and then not being able to direct that inner turmoil.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be defined by inner turmoil, and fear, to where I expect myself to be comforted by other people.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have anger and resentment within myself, to where I've covered it up for so long, to the point that I've created a consequence of facing inner turmoil as resentment and anger, and allowing that turmoil to dictate how I experience myself.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge myself within the consequence of my thoughts.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to escelate the thoughts and emotions through blaming my environment, and blaming where I'm at, and how I feel around that environment.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to hold back from self forgiveness, because I've always expected myself to suppress these emotional experiences, through the very pattern of wanting to be safe around others/use others as an energetic source, to not face myself here, and see the problem for myself.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge myself within having had suppressive feelings and actions within myself, to where I have accepted and allowed myself to create the experience of resentment and anger within myself more and more.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to pretend to be happy, when facing these points, as a way to not face them, and to instead only verify the fears of facing resentment and anger more and more.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus not face resentment and anger.
When and as I see myself going into emotional turmoil, I stop, I breath, and I direct the point with what's here, and I bring myself back to self application by forgiving all of the fears of facing myself, and I practically face myself.
I commit myself to face myself in regards to resentment and anger.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear experiencing turmoil within myself, and then not being able to direct that inner turmoil.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be defined by inner turmoil, and fear, to where I expect myself to be comforted by other people.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have anger and resentment within myself, to where I've covered it up for so long, to the point that I've created a consequence of facing inner turmoil as resentment and anger, and allowing that turmoil to dictate how I experience myself.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge myself within the consequence of my thoughts.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to escelate the thoughts and emotions through blaming my environment, and blaming where I'm at, and how I feel around that environment.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to hold back from self forgiveness, because I've always expected myself to suppress these emotional experiences, through the very pattern of wanting to be safe around others/use others as an energetic source, to not face myself here, and see the problem for myself.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge myself within having had suppressive feelings and actions within myself, to where I have accepted and allowed myself to create the experience of resentment and anger within myself more and more.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to pretend to be happy, when facing these points, as a way to not face them, and to instead only verify the fears of facing resentment and anger more and more.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus not face resentment and anger.
When and as I see myself going into emotional turmoil, I stop, I breath, and I direct the point with what's here, and I bring myself back to self application by forgiving all of the fears of facing myself, and I practically face myself.
I commit myself to face myself in regards to resentment and anger.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)