Day 99 - excersising for an image

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want to meet this standard of 'good looking' when excersising. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to define myself by my abdominal muscles and the other muscle groups that my body supports me with.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to think I need to meet the standards of athletes or models in the magazines in order to function in a 'happy' state, within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to relate images to excersising.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus create images as this compensation for not being in fact strong enough for the moves I do in the workouts, as if i need to do a certain amount of push-ups or whatever move I'm doing in order to be 'good enough'.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus want to feed the positive definition of 'what i will look like', by checking out my muscles in the mirror to 'be strong and good looking'.

I forgive myself tat I've accepted and allowed myself to define my relationship to males and females as having to be attractive or have muscles to communicate stable. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want to compete on appearances in order to feel better about myself.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus not take self responsibility for points in which I experience as negative, but instead create this distraction of my physical appearance as if I don't have to actually be good because my appearance somehow will make it easier for me to get away with taking self responsibility.

When and as I see myself exercising within the idea that I will gain more of muscle/In fear of not having an extent of a muscle group, I stop, I breath, and I change the starting point to keeping my body moving, to keep myself at a better point of strength and health, and to support myself within breathing by physically working myself.

I see and realize that my body is figured the way it is, and that I've been able to function just as well with it in what ever state it's in. Within this I commit myself to stop comparing myself to others, and within this when and as I see myself trying to compare myself in the self judgement that I'm 'not good enough' I stop, I breath, and I focus on what I'm doing g here as myself, and I move with what's here, seeing that my body is properly functioning without having to look a certain way.

I see and realize that I am practically as strong as I am within the moment of working out, and that it is irrelevant to focus on how many reps other people are doing, because my body supports what I can reach my max to in order to support myself with getting better to the next level of reps.

When and as I see myself wanting to acknowledge my muscle groups as having to do with the exercises I do, as to fulfill the future fantasy of what results I 'will have', I stop, I breath, and I see that what's here is the only thing that's relevant - what my body is now is plenty for me to work with what's here now.. 

I see and realize that what I look like is irrelevant to day to day communication, and thus when and as I see myself tying to compare myself to males, or want to win over the female by this self consciousness of what I look like, I stop, I breath, I see what the activity is, and I make what that is as real net to the interaction with other humans, equally.

I see and realize that focusing on how I look is a distraction to being able to move with what is here, and thus I commit myself to make what's here relevant, and to bring myself back to taking self responsibility.