Physical participation, Day 101 - desire over self responsibility

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fall for desires of wanting to be more, have more, experience more. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have fallen for masturbating as a way to verify not facing the negative emotion of 'losing' which where I get the point of wanting to feed the positive In wanting more than what's here.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have masturbated out of wanting to verify the procrastination of self responsibility, with the deliberate misdirection from remaining consistent with what I am supposed to work with moment to moment. Within this, I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to have written self forgiveness when I was scheduled to, but instead played videos games, and thus lead to allowing indirect participation lead to verifying that misdirection through entertainment, desires.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not have limited my time with video games to the scheduled leisure time, within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to break the physical support direction with video games, as a way to feed energy with not working with the video game for the point of supporting myself in a scheduled manner, In a Physical directive manner.

When and as I see myself generating a build up of desire over not taking directive principle into consideration as of what is here, to the point even of wanting to release energy, I stop, I breath, and I write out physical participation, and how I can get back into working with what's here, like cleaning, music, games (when scheduled) as to direct myself physically and not allowing the mind to dictate my movement through investigating how I got to allowing such points of misdirection.

When and as is see myself past my time limit with an activity, such as video games, I stop the activity, I assure that I am consistently breathing, and I write, or do the next movement participation and investigation within that participation to remain back to consistency. Within this, I see and realize that  masturbating is only the way of feeding into deliberate indecisiveness, and thus I commit myself within this to always walk through any energy or thoughts where I want to release that energy, such as masturbating, to where I can practically go back to the point of focusing on my relationships and standing up and facing emotions that I tried to suppress through these desires.

I commit myself to stop the excessive gaming, and to (when having a free time moment) go on a walk, or do something physically active that takes work, and to not play video games unless it is on scheduled time. Within this, I commit myself to take this as physical support to help stabilize myself from any misdirection that has yet to be utilized within my day to day living.