Day 120 -" feeling good" from the medication to not take self responsibility

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to make the excuse, that because the psychosis shot makes my physical body feel relaxed, and the numbing aspect of having chosen to get this type of treatment, that I do not have to take self responsibility, to still remain self aware at all times how the mind operates, where I'm lacking, where I abuse. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to relate how I feel mentally to "well, I don't feel like causing harm to others, so therefor, no need to follow self honesty or responsibility.

I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to use how the medication makes me feel as a point of self support, as a point of using that medicated feeling as a point to self investigate within my relationships that I face daily.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize, that by taking these sedative medications, that I am walking the consequence where these points which I've accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as separation, are in fact going to compound. Within this, I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to still place my writings, my physical application within walking the points and circumstances that I'm still able to, and understanding that these medications are simply a handicap to support myself to be able to function daily in a society that requires my attentiveness, vis versa.

I commit myself to take accountability equally as if I was not medicated, and to investigate how the medications coincide with my day to day living, within this continuing to build up to functioning in day to day living with making sure that I have a reference of self awareness that I can work on in each relationship.