Day 95 - redefining myself to remain introspective - self corrective statements part 3

When and as I see myself in the point of being able to stand up within a relationship, which within this this relationship having created a void towards he other being, or thing, I stop, I breath, and I understand that the feeling won't get me anywhere within an actual relationship, and thus within this I commit myself to always let go, at least eventually and effectively where I take space from the relationship for a moment, or I push through the point within and as bringing it back to myself alone here, and within this practically walking through the relationship, letting go of emotions, and creating a practical new foundation within what has simply been corrupted within myself.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to accumulate points within myself where I will start struggling for the point to exist within myself through intensifying conflict within myself towards others, I stop, I breath, and I understand that I have a point to face within myself, and actually walk myself through redirecting myself apart from conflicts, from emotional turmoil within writing in my back chat journal, and I deconstruct the point back to where I was able to face the current point within myself, and thus within this, I commit myself to understand that the points I accumulate wi others within conflict, is merely my own reflection of wanting to not face my own points, and to not see where I've accepted and allowed myself to abuse and be abused in the past, which has nothing to do with anyone but my own patron which ha remained within myself.

I commit myself to walk through each point freely as and for myself, meaning that I will take each point as myself, as what's here as myself, and thus within this, stopping this void of self sabotaging myself, using the people in my environment to not practically take self responsibility for points that I simply did not take the time to focus on.

When and as I see myself suppressing negativity within myself through exploiting relationships through fantasies and through adding this show and experience in my mind to the relationship that is in my world, I stop, I breath, and I come back here to where I'm at in the present, and start breathing back to the point of working with what's here. Within this I commit myself to work and continue practicing self forgiveness statements to physically work to the point of understanding how remaining introspective, and thus to remain in enjoyment and satisfaction as myself here, is to only work with what's here, and that otherwise I'm merely suppressing points of relationships through fantasies and happiness, which thus needs to continue being practically utilized overtime through walking here only as self remaining as the foundation of change within my world, and thus this world for what is best for my life, and therefor all life.

Day 94 - Wanting to masturbate to verify entertainment, pictures, postponing self responsibility through entertainment, self interest

Wanting to masturbate to verify entertainment, pictures, postponing self responsibility through entertainment, self interest:

So I've been through a semi point again within entertainment, it isn't as heavy tonight after work it seems, but of course I did have an easier night at work, so I won't judge this or catagorizee as if it's better or still the same extent I have been doing recently.

Now what happens when I do decide to write, or I do decide that I'm going to stand within my points, is that I will start taking self responsibility like getting ready for bed, but then I create this idea that there's something I need to experience before I go to sleep, and what long lasting distraction experience than to go on the internet. Now eventually when I tell myself I need to stop, like I literally turn everything off, or I'm about to, I then get the sensation to masturbate, which is like my mind saying 'oh no, no more internet, we'll now I need something else to please me', and it seems that even if I don't do it necessarily that night, we'll. the next night if I don't breath and really start directing myself here, and come home and eventually hit up the internet, we'll, it'll only show up more sudden and more intense, and if not then until the next night, and eventually until I have accepted and allowed misdirection to the point of just saying fuck it and watching porn or playing one in my head and getting a quick fix, and then I decide that since I got my fix, I will walk again.

So, I fear losing something that protects me from facing fears, from facing insecurities, from facing demons, from facing self interest that needs to stop, and I've tried driving myself as self interest within process, and have unlocked so much of this relationship with process, that it's quite exposed, and I've accepted and allowed myself to try to protect it through apathy, throuh just wanting my mind to dictate, to not direct myself, to not physically move within anything, and eventually when shits in front of me that I know I can change then, I just go and masturbate.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want to go masturbate to try verifying my self interest patterns that I've acted upon for an extensive time, and in multiple personalities of these self interests.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear losing these personalities as to fear losing my way of remaining stable around my environment, and simply to feel comfortable, to want the illusion of myself to remain.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus not will myself to stand up for life in these moments where I can change, but instead verify my self definition of myself through masturbation, and through the accumulated distractions that time loop these self definitions.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus pretend to act like what I'm doing is normal, and that I've been normal/life, not seeing realizing and understanding, that I'm merely creating characters of normal within myself to justify the abnormal acts and intent within myself, and that it isn't normal to force feed myself YouTube videos and any link I can use to distract myself from actually living and breathing for a change, and thus changing myself within and as life.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow feelings of negative determine where I will next direct myself, which is to the positive, to the computer when I build up negative backchat at work, or where I will play my guitar to suppress negative back chat that I'm not a good enough guitar player, or just to distract myself.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to ultimately use masturbation as this gadget of the conscious mind technology system, and like a consumer I'm playing with myself, I'm fucking with myself by fucking buying out life with shit I don't need/don't need to be handeling with, like, I don't need to be handeling with my dick just because I couldn't decide to have some fucking courage to just step out of my comfort zone to actually make this world a place that can be in fact comfortable and welcoming for everyone equally.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus fear of losing what is comfortable: people, sex, games, internet, music, movies, bed, food, not seeing realizing and understanding, that I'm I fact deliberately harming others in this world just so I can have a secrete place to hide all of my shit to feel better than those I'm deliberately harming through indirect care and work to assure that everyone on this planet is comfortably taken care of.

When and and as I see myself wanting to verify such personality points within myself within this accumulation of trying to protect myself from facing a point within myself deliberately and knowingly, I stop I breath, and I drop the distractions, I drop thes pushing in front of me, I literally stop and breath in 4 counts, until I'm here to write, and I write the point out where and why I had fallen, or can really push through spoken statements to myself when like at work.

When and as I see myself creating excuses and justifications that what I'm doing in my mind 'is making me happy' ' is normal because this character and that character would say it is normal', I stop, I breath, and I understand to ground myself here as myself as life,and then really see the abuse and abnormal manifestations that I'm accepting and allowing within myself through distractions and through compulsion.

When and as I see myself wanting to go create distractions through consumerism, through games and music and movies and internet, I stop, I breath, and ifunderstand the foundation of who I am through working with what is here, and actually walk myself in and as breath and self responsibility to in fact value what's here, and not create a void of buying out something and pretending its value merely to suppress my lack of willingness to put forth effort of real value and real effectiveness in this world.

I comit myself to breath through these conmfirt points of isolation, and to start walking through these escapists, understanding within each word I write, each breath I take as assistance, that it is for this world and for me as this world, and that escaping me/this world, is only escaping what I have created, abuse, starvation, trauma of the earth, and it's beings, and that I require working to fix it, to expose myself to help myself become adequate to fix it without accepting harm any longer,a nod apathy that there's children that suffer far beyond my bullshit, and that people starve and die daily, and extremities happening daily, and people being traumatized by them, or traumatized while dieing to these manifested points of humans nature, and animals as well.
I commit myself to let go of these points within myself, and to start moving.

Day 93 - redefining myself to remaining introspective, part 2 - self forgiveness statements

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow openings within my being, where I self abdicate self responsibility, meaning that I will use points within my world where I know that I require continueing taking self responsibility, or should start taking more self responsibility, but instead within these moments of being able to stand up, I instead fall for feeling and would rather for a moment make my own acceptances and allowances of lifelessness prevail.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus not realize that within these moments, I allowed my mind to decide where I require directing myself, and thus within this not having remained introspective in fact, and not having thus breathed through the point that might have been difficult or painful for a moment, but instead accepted and allowed myself to trust a feeling that clearly even within  these moments, knowing they will only last for that moment. In this I thus forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that feelings are nothing but me creating a void of depending on someone/something outside of myself.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow such points of voids define me in and as my expression throughout my day, and thus where I will accept and allow myself to remain inconsiderate, and thus play games with other beings as to keep myself protected within my own inconsideration being exposed, just to fulfill self interests to kee myself fucked in these separations.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not breath consistently within moments of incosiderate patterns within myself, as to assur I remain within that stance of being introspective, and always making it possible to change yself within that relationship I participated in within my mind before, and thus always remaining vigilant so to speak t always change these relationships within each moment I find a relationship that needs changing.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to try to protect my relationships in and as the mind, through constantly playing back chat in my mind towards every given event,where it plays out another person or thing outside of myself that can be there where I pretend and thus define myself to these people, to these this within my mind, to self abdicate remaining introspective and in and as breathing.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to therefor create fantasies fr myself in relationship to my world, as to abdicate actually taking self responsibility for my world as myself, and thus creating alternate experiences as to gain a satisfaction that merely measures up to my fears I've accepted and allowed to relate to my world. Within this I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to realize, that the moment I add some fantasy feeling attached to a relationship within my word, that I am implying that I only want to take, and steal from that co dependence to full - fill a fear, and then fight and work at that and sort of massage that memory and fantasy and back chat, like loosening it up for toxic fluid to fill in the air it originally should be, and thus within this, only trying to self abdicate points within myself that should be directed fully within myself, but n stead creating these fantasies as voids, and thus manipulating the real relationship to fill in for the void, and causing tension and limitation within myself.

Self corrective statements tofollowin prt 3..

Day 92 - redefining myself to remaining introspective/utilizing line abdication of self responsibility through voids - part 1

So within this I will be utilizing that point of abdicating self responsibility, and how I can deconstruct this point to self investigate what it REALy means to take self responsibility, within the aspect of becoming introspective. I will thus create this as a building block to the relationship within my writing, within my breathing, within how I take action, and within how I walk through points, and where I abdicate certain areas of self responsibility.

O it seems most of my life I have participated in self abdication within basically all relationships, wi music, with my communication with other beings, with how I direct myself in my own well being. This has tended to cause allot of destructive directions, and thus my relationships mostly have always been abdication a of myself, and I would create participations within created patrons out if self abdication, and then get myself stuck in places that I knew I needed to get out of, but of course the love and light was shining and all that mattered to me was t get that dose to suppress my own creation, and therefor only manifest potentially more destruction for not only myself but others as well.

I've always had this cognitive dissonance that the way I expressed myself was always limited by creating this void through the cooperators within the relationship, and thus the relationship instead of being cooperative, always became co dependent. Within this I would thus understand that I was being abused, but that's as far as I had seen it, and then I would simply blame the other person, or attach myself to the positive aspect of the person, and just keep going on this cycle of up and down to survive within my own self abdication.

Music: I have found within investigating this point, that I've always exploited musical expression, for my own self interest of suppressing my insecurities, and my fear of really equally expressing myself as life, and thus I've always had a difficult time playing wi other musicians without judgements, and reflecting those points towards others, and thus - self abdication.

Friends: I've always created the male friends as this point where I could receive a fulfillment of being acknowledged for this pureness I wanted, and thus acted as pretentious as possible untill I ran out of energy and became only inconsiderate, since after all I was not self abdicating in fact caring for another as a 'friend', and thus accepted and allowed submission to those points I merely created voids for.

Family: I've only but had this isolation point where I resent the family members that I've had conflict with, and prevent myself from expressing myself as life in relation to not only them, but members I haven't had relationships to much, and thus I've only sabotaged relationships and potential relationships with 'family' that could be very supportive, but instead self abdicated through blame, through fear of changing, through fear of not submitting, and keeping my own little ego mind bubble protected for my own self interest.

So the general premise of this self investigation is to transcend this point of self abdication, to becoming introspective within all aspects of reactions, and thus within misdirective relationships, and thus actually building principle within myself to take self responsibility for my preprogrammed relationships, and therefor when and as I face misdirection relationships that I've defined myself in and as.

Self forgiveness to follow in part 2...

Day 91- blame resent and anger, self corrective statements

When and s I see myself reacting to what I suddenly happen to percieve within a moment, that I'm being attack essentially in some aspect within a person, verbally or non verbally, I sto, I breath, and within this I focus primarily on myself, and primarily on schedule, on work, on music, on writing, etc., and within ip this practically diverting myself from accumulation within my co existence to the other, until I have utilize enough of myself to practically communicate with the other person. Within this I commit myself to thus relate my communication if I find myself n the middle of reacting, to the task at hand, and breathing through manifestations of potential reactions, and not judging myself within such reactions.

I commit myself to take the point of memories consciously creating the energy point, as to deconstruct the memory within introspect. Within this, when and as I see myself allowing a point of back chat and conflict within myself accumulate within the point of memories of conflict, I stop, I breath, and I release the point through my back chat diary, and the memories that already make up the points of why I react within and as myself.

I commit myself to continue walking through my backchat diary, and through my writings to deconstruct the points of feeling that I use as voids through others, and within this building the point of remaining introspective within all forms of reactions and intensities of reactions. When and as I see a difficult reaction occurring within and as myself, I stop, I breath, and then I stop participating n relationship to the other person, by guiding myself within the physical whether its merely breathing, or writing myself out within the point of reaction, or being patient within myself, and instead of judging myself, understanding that I will practically remain stable as possible untill Im alone to write the point out.

When and as I see myself within a state of having accumulated to a point of attacking the other person n my mind out of anger and out of emotional build up within this point of resent, I then immediately stop, I walk to an isolated area for a moment, breath, let go of the point to where I WILL work n stabilizing self to a healthy extent for my environment, and en I practically forgive the point then or write the point out.

I commit myself to redefine my relationship within my process and relationship to non destonians, from the starting point of being introspective, and thus within this, allowing myself to In fact handle these points from bringing it back to self. Within this as commit myself to redefine myself within the context of introspection, and expression being her within my next blog.

When and as I see myself wanting to throw someone or want to destroy my environment physically to release anger, I stop, I breath, and I immediately isolate myself, or keep a ciggerette on me to support my body stress, and within this allowing myself to come back to a rational point within my environment to then come back to ip being introspective and stabilizing myself within words.

Day 90 - blame, self corrective statements

When and as I see myself accumulating back chat to the pattern that results in wanting to make a statement in regards to 'what's right' in relationship to 'what they are doing wrong', or when creating such back chat in the first place, I stop, I breath, and I deconstruct that point of back chat in relationship to the person I Berber and then judged, within self forgiveness self corrective statements. Within this first understanding that I am breathing, that I am here in and as breath, and not allowing emotions to be only accumulated within my mind, or where I try to use the emotions to state self forgiveness, but really pushing myself to breath within the context of actually deconstructing the point practically.

I commit myself within the commitment of bringing it back to self, that I limit my communication with others, and that I work on creating the starting point of how I communicate with others, nder the principle of what is best for all life, and us start with relating my physical participation, and what's here to communication, and keeping it meaningful, and not go into useless conversation that's merely preoccupying myself from taking self responsibility.

When and as I see myself using points I've walked through, or think I've walked through as this form of arsenal n my mind to defend myself as self righteous when in back chat against others, I stop immediately, I breath, and I let go of the points I'm exploiting and covering myself up with, and within this I commit myself to walk through this dimension of self righteousness, to understand that regardless of what doesn't of does exist within me, that I have no excuse to make rom for abuse within myself, and that In order to thus build principle to be introspective and bring it back to myself, that I cannot let any loose ends win myself which would protect myself from self responsibility for dishonest points, and thus openings to manipulate and deceive myself and others that Im smething else, a fake face.

 I forgive mysef that I've not accepted and allowed myself to realize, that any time I settle even just within the pont of laziness from taking self responsibility for my shit, that I inevitably am making the statement within such implication of irresponsibility, that I am willing to attac life, and that I will continue to make fake faces, and will continue to be spiteful and disregard life and myself as walki through this process one and equal with life.

I commit myself to thus redefine myself here as walking this process one and equal with life, and that I commit myself to walk through all points of loose ends which I've accepted and allowed such voids and blame and animosity towards others to protect myself within only my self interest. Thus within this, when and as I see myself in such position of wanting to remain settled in the position of protecting myself or being self righteous instead of walking through the point equal in breath, I stop, I breath and I walk through the point within what ever means to bring that point back to self, and us within this I commit myself to challenge myself to really breath when in such a point of rush, and to really focus on bringing each individual point back to myself, where I can actually stand within moments where I can direct the points within myself in all places, and not hen too much dependability on having to resort in writing because I accepted such points within myself to accumulate within the voids and excuses.

Self corrective statements to continue in part 4..

Day 90 - blame, and creating anger and resent towards others- part 2

as point that seems to be touchy within myself, is that when I face a point of an individual who I fear is judging me, or where I think they are deliberately attacking me in their minds, then start to go into this state of (if I don't really focus on myself and breath) resent and irritation, which combines into anger, which requires much bringing it back to self with allot of sowing down and breathing when at my restaurant job which in itself can be quite a spiteful place, and thus I start rushing myself in all indoor emotions after having accepted and allowed myself to accumulate this point of void and blame towards my co workers, and taking advantage of them, into becoming resentful and angry.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to go into reaction when someone talks to me at my work, or anyone in this sense within myself where I think that they are deliberately attacking me, or are upset at me - regardless if they are or not.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to blame others for the reaction within myself, and where I will go into back chat and where I start dwelling over memories with parents or school or siblings where I would receive this attack, or where I was called stupid, or maybe some remark from my father.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus have accepted and allowed myself to let these self judgements within myself, settle to such an extent, that after having accumulated these memories, I begin to start to have an extent of mind demons where I start attacking the other person or people in my mind.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to then go into a point of becoming separated from my work, or from whatever I was doing before, or working with or supporting myself wi before, and then go into blame that they are the reason why I can't remain here as breath, and that I need to just keep blaming them and resenting them.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus go into a state of confusion within myself, where I am trying to defend myself simultaneously within the definition I have created of myself as more pure than the others, because "Im apart of desteni" "I do self forgiveness and they don't". Within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to self sabotage myself up t this point, from the perspective that I must be a big asshole because 'I just can't change' this intent of competition within my mind', instead of slowing myself down and letting go of the confusion, and simply trusting myself, and thus only tryi to protect myself within the idea that because I'm superior and apart of desteni, that thus my breathing and participating within breathing is superior, and thus not allowing myself to actually breath.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to go into this point of anger and irritation towards others and my environment, where I will thus slowly start building up this accumulation of resent and self sabotage, to the point where I will start becoming aggressive, or if I don't slow myself down and give myself a break, even o not yelling or cussing or hitting something, or start becoming frustrated with my work place where I will release anger by throwing equipment around, or like dishes or pans.

I forgive myself that I've  accepted and allowed myself to thus not release this point primarily within myself when facing this point, or taking consideration of this rage point in how It relates to myself even when Im calm. Within this, I commit myself to thus direct myself within this pattern of anger and irritation within myself, and deconstruct this point primarily within my back chat diary, or in any other relationship in regards to this point of anger.

Self corrective statements to follow in part 3...

Day 89 - blame, and wanting to take advantage of others part 1

So I will experience myself in relationship to others within my back chat within the point of blaming them for shit that I see those individuals do. I then will eventually want to take advantage of these people through having made myself in my mind better than them, or more 'pure' than them, and then use what I had created them as 'bad', and then create this desire of this relationship where I will want to help them, of course in relationship to the back chat build up where I had blamed them, and place myself on this pedal stool against them. Within this I am thus only intending on taking advantage of these people, and where they will listen to me, or where I want to basically place myself in some helping position or teacher position, where I can therefor use them under the control of what I fear within myself being exposed.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want to take advantage of specific people I communicate with, or have had relationships with in my mind, and thus use this back chat system I've created towards them, as to use them under my own self interest, in relationship to my process, and where I try to exploit the information and process I've walked through within myself to control others.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus deliberately compromise others process through compromising my own process, and thus creating this void from myself, and only doing what is best for my own self interest, and protecting my own self interest within my points.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to make the excuse tht because I've walked so much or what ever aspect of my points, that I can just go out and speak out knowledge to others, not seeing and realizing that Im merely exploiting others and my own expression within what is best for all life, to in fact cover up my shit that I accepted and allowed to create a formation within my mind to not have stood u in the moments where had fallen and not corrected the fall, but instead tried to protect myself within the fall, and thus settle for the abuse I've caused, and potentially caused.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to intend on manipulating others to see a fake face, where I thus have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate others, and to create a fake face within my posts on Facebook, or how I behave at work or at home, as to not walk through the points in real time where I had been faced with my actual nature, and instead of having breathed through and walked through that nature, and the actual intent I have towards others, having instead layered another dimension and compounded further personalities, and thus creating this point of manipulation and exploitation within my process and others process.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to make the justification when in these moments of facing myself, and the harsh nature of myself, that I can cause attacks and blame towards others because they are the problem, not seeing and realizing that I am merely accepted and allowing myself to be willing to abuse life in itself and terrorize life and attack life to not face my own inner evil, and allowing myself to fuck with life and to cause consequences in my environment within the very intent to actual receive an energetic positive feeling from causing that destruction in others, and allowing myself to actually settle for my shit, to settle for the abuse within myself

Further self forgiveness in part 2

Day 88 - 21 day breathing self corrective statements part 3

When and as I see myself breathing, and generate the experience that I must somehow protect my breathing in fear of someone else impeding me from doing this, or as if I am allowing to remain submissive to a reaction by reacting to it within and as this protective mechanism of a position I've related to breathing, I stop, and I let go of the point within and as practically cross referencing with what is here as myself, and thus within this allowing myself to let go of this protective mechanism of this insecurity to breath when facing a reactin, or facing backchat. Thus within this, I commit mysef to practically resort to the tools I've given myself, and that I have learned, and direct myself within schedule, and always keep my schedule and backchat diary around to stabilize here points of insecurities, and investigate where I've constructed fear of losing stability within breathing in relationship to reactions.

I commit myself to thus direct myself in and as what's practically here, and not try to fix a reaction with emotions and thus only accumulate the point further, but to know that points will require breathing and stabilizing within, with time, because not all points are just going to disappear over not, and thus when and as I see myself trying to rush through a point to et rid of discomfort, instead of practically giving myself the practical ability to walk through the point slowly and surely with the tools, with the schedule, I then stop with 4 count breathing, where I breath in 4 counts, I stop 4 counts and I breath out, and within this not applying a notion or attachment to stability, but actually moving within stability, actually directing myself within the point here, and not in any form the mind, which only leads to back chat and misconception.

I commit myself to build patients, but equally discipline, through directing mysef slowly within each point, and by accepting and allowing myself to start adapting much more on point and movable within my schedule, to where I allow myself to simply stand up when I see a point of reaction, or an accumulative sense of deliberate comfort to suppress a point, and thus within this, understanding that it will take practice to get it, to get that I can simply stand up, or not, and that it is as simple as that, and that the tools will prove, and that self sabotaging, and fears and insecurities is a misdirection principle that doesn't work, and thus its time to start taking points slowly,n but seriously, and if there is something I see missing in direction, then coming back to breathing, and focusing n directly the point I'm utilizing here, and if I find the practical oppurtunity, then utilizing whatever else has seemed to be a loose end within myself, or whatever dishonesty I've accepted and allowed within myself, and to simply learn frm the mistake.

When and as I see myself facing points that show as more intense, or maybe unexpected, I continue breathing, and I simply start investigating myself wi the tools I've practically been working with already, and within this giving myself the willingness, and patients through essentials, which is breathing, which is being here, and building off of points that seem too big at sme times, but knowing that I can stand up frm that innevitable fall, and work with it, and learn from it.

I commit myself to redefine my relationship within my participation within this process. That I will fully endeavor to walk wi life equally, and redefine myself from the physical work required, and thus within this, stop resisting so much in reactions for the sake of my own self interest, and actually standing equally with myself, and us as a group, and not as trying to get to the finish line to win a fucking trophy, and thus within this giving myself in fact the physical direction as direction, and not as emotions and back chat to conclude something I haven't even allowed myself to walk thro, or walk to yet.

I commit myself to stand up in loose ends, and to be careful with how I perceive things and work wi things, and allowing myself the courage to fix aspects of myself that I didn't see completely as points of suppression. Within this I commit myself to thus work with breathing as much as possible within that awareness of taking it slowly, and thus working on not holding my breath or forgetting that I'm breathing more consistently.

I commit myself to walk through points here in the physical, by slowly stating self forgiveness and self corrective statements, and thus working on instead of dwelling on a point, building principle and willingness when I see something new, and require letting go and being stable and back to the here practical. Thus when and as I see myself losing myself, I stop, I breath, and. Practically confront the point and stand within equality within directive application, and knowing I have the tools to assist myself to whatever extent or aspect of myself that I accept and allow myself to struggle with.

Day 87 - 21 day breathing - self forgiveness part 2

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I am trying to protect myself within breathing, that I am not actually breathing, but protecting a point of self interest within myself that I've related to breathing in relationship to others in terms of breathing to do it as a point of surviving within the system. Thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not stand one and equal with myself within my process in itself, and thus abstract from the point of my process, which is to bring about a world which is best for all life, and thus notin fact standing equal t others as well within desteni and outside of the desteni group.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not let go of the points within myself, in fear that I am going to lose within survival of that reaction, not seeing and realizing that I have therefor created simply a reaction towards that reaction, and where I tried to justify, self sabotage myself. Within this I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to realize that a point requires walking throu here in the physical, and that any loose ends or back chat happening to try to sort out the point within my mind, with my mind is only counter productive, and will thus accumulate to procrastinating the moment where I can stop and start again with fixing the point within and as breathing here within cross reference to the tools of bringing it back to self, and with the tools I've personally applied as to bringing it back to schedule, and participating within what the schedule says to physically guide myself within each point.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus not be patient I thin a point of reaction, but try to allow that reaction to react to the reaction, and then want to act in this sense of figuring it out in my mind, and not simply taking it back to what needs to get worked with here, and then as I practically stabilize myself within that point with breathing, then utilizing it practically when I have brought myself back here through for example: focus on my work, write in my back chat diary, smoke a ciggerette, support myself with playing guitar, self forgiveness and correcting myself within misdirection SLOWLY. Within this I forgive mysef that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that it really is as simple as walking through a point, and tha when having a reaction or a fall, that that is the very moment to simply take it as its exposed oppurtunity to walk through the point within the capability to do so in that moment of breath, and that it will take a certain amount of time to get it, and thus its ok if I am practically struggling with the reaction, and to simply take it slowly.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus instead of applying tools when n such reactions, that I will deliberately overwehlm myself and self sabotage myself t the point of misdirection within myself, which is where I will have a reaction, and then instead of allowing myself to breath and simply see it as its nature, and allowing myself to remain here where I can practically utilize the point, or walk through the hysical participation points, I instead generate the want to supress the point, and not simply letting go of it. Within this I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to realize, that letting go of a point, is letting go of my very concious relationship, by simply understanding that that point is not that which is best for all, and therefor it obviously isn't something that is effective or can be worked with within myself, thus when having reactions or falls or facing a point, I either will allow myself to work with the physical to bring myself to a point of stability to where I will utilize the point, or I accept and allow the back chat and the self sabotage continue to accumulate within myself as to protect the point.

 I forgive myself that I've thus accepted and allowed myself to not realize that practical point of process, which is taking each point as itself, and not rushing to another point, and thus within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to relate money to my process, and t thus not stand one and equal as a group with desteni, and therefor take on each point within equal sencirity, and thus within this in fact having an automated sense of approaching each point simply within that point, and not just scattering my mind into it and fucking myself in thought.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not be self honest with the fact that the points will either be walked through, or isn't. Meaning, either I am herewith the physical, willing to be here with the physical, or else it is a mind deceit point within myself to supress or protect seeing within myself.

I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed yself to realize that moving in the physical is as simple as itself, and that it is practically a guideline for me here, and that its clearly right in front of me and is me, and that resistance is simply a reaction to the reaction to protect its unrealistic bullshit. For example: I have a reaction, and then the emotion will of course be intense when it is something I haven't seen before, and then when I have been breathing consistently, and I see someone within myself that I didn't expect, I try to protect the point within its concious design. Thus within this, I commit myself to redefine confronting myself, or applyi mysef to appoint as simply being here within breath as myself here, and directing that point practically untill I am one and equal as myself again.

Self corrective statements to follow in part 3..

Day 86 - 21 day breathingpart 1

So within this blog I will cover my relationship within participating in this 'challenge', and points I've seen that cause me to hold my breath, and even prevent myself from trusting myself within breath. Now within this 21 day challenge I will be doing the same form of blogging winthin the points where I explain what I've seen within the moment I did breath, and then if there's a point where I fall, then I can simply bring myself back to daily participation with cross referencing with my schedule, so I can assist myself to direct myself back to a point of working within that breathing point, and then blog on the point to correct myself within which I accepted and allowed myself to apply a notion within my mind in relationship to breathing that caused such a repreccusion to not go through the 21 days

What I've noticed is that when I am in consistent breath, I eventually acknowledge the very point of breathing as some thing that should be categorized within myself as some higher ability, or something to protect myself from becoming unstable, which then branches off to this comparison competition point.

For example I will be working, and I will simply be working, but then when a reaction comes up, I eventually have a Few of these untill I start reacting to the reaction, or will self sabotage myself under the reaction, to the point where I start protecting myself within breathing, or as if I'm going to lose my breathing, as if its something outside of myself.

Within this I then go into an accumulation of repercussion towards communication, and then start becoming indecisive within what I'm doing, instead of just simply breathing here, since I've made this such a focus point to protect myself from essentially actually breathing to assist myself here. So therefor within this I create a mind relationship to breathing, as t manipulate the very points within myself by self sabotaging myself within the reactions, instead of practically breathing through them,, and allowing myself t walk through them.

Now after this accumulates I eventually come to a point of falling within a more intense reaction, and thus once I lose my breath for a period of time, I then just spiral down into the point of procrastination and where I deliberately hold my breath, as if to convince myself that I can't breath unless there's some point behind it, some purpose/self interest reason, and so that self interest is tested  by my very moment of breath, and I simply don't just breath and let go of the starting point through practically bringing myself back to each point I was walking through within physical participation, or what I had written for myself to face within my schedule.

Self forgiveness statements following into part 2...

Day 85 - redefining starting point - part 2 self corrective statements

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to expect reactions to have to be within myself in order to write myself out.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus write from the perspective that I require a point of mind energy in order to write myself out.

When and as I see myself creating the point of trying to gain a point of superiority over another within my process, as if I will 'get away' with points that I allow myself to hold back from, and within this try to protect myself with this position of making money off of riding ego and self limitations, then I breath within the point, I stand one and equal with the point as the point here, and let go of the need to defeat another or somehow protect myself from others judging myself within standing one and equal, and simply walk through the point here and practically change myself only as myself to really and in fact build self trust, and thus within this I commit myself to always bring it back to the starting point of firstly building self trust for myself, and not as a scapegoat for tryi to protect myself from the fear that others in my mind won't trust me if I 'don't do it', and then reacting in trying to gain something within the system, within my system.

When and as I see myself trying to push through a point as to 'having to eradicate' the point, and not slowly taking it ste by step to stand one and equal as myself to walk throu the point with stability and practical application, I stop, I stop trying to jump from multiple dimensions in my mind as a way to rush as this protective mode, and I simply breath back to standing one and equal within myself, and I start with one point at a time, as it is, and fully embracing myself here, and not as a personality protective system that I rush in my mind with.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to define standing one and equal as this rushing manifested vocabulary of 'eradicating' as the result of trying to just 'get rid of myself quickly' instead of having calmed myself within and as breath to walk through the point as myself at the moment, but instead as the accumulative reactions I accepted and allowed myself to build up. Within this, when and as I see myself being determined by the reactions, I stop, I breath, and I let go of the points through self forgiveness, and thus I thin this, I commit myself to focus on the point of creating voids through entertaining myself with world catastrophes on YouTube and watching conspiracies within my next blog as a point to utilize my relationship to instability occurring outside of myself, and how I reflect myself to the outside.

When and as I see myself not stable within myself, or inconsistent within breath, I practically come back to standing one and equal as myself here within what's here, and I let to of trying to validate reactions that come up within consistent breathing, and within this allowing myself to focus on points I'm walking through currently, in order to thus give myself a redefined starting point of patients, within actually accepting myself as life here, and not as a mind rush of fear and protection and survival within myself.

When and as I see myself trying to live off of feeling, and experience myself off of a feeling within my mind, I stop, I breath, and I go back to commitment statements, Nd living these current statements to direct myself off of an extent of principle within myself, to direct myself here as physical, and thus within this, I commit myself to always read current blogs in the mornings, and before I do writings or maybe if I need to check myself here as equal to myself, and thus within this giving myself clear direction out of the mind to what ever extent within myself, and actually changing myself fully as myself, and not as some verifying mind control, as an ego.

When and as I see myself trying to verify a point of conflict and war within myself, as if I just want this battle of the other party in my mind to exist to keep the point of fear to circulate in my mind, I sop, I breath, and within this, I come back to self, realizing that being here as myself is only and will only every be the most practical step to in fact having a point of self trust, and not as this form of gaining self trust from this government mini system in my mind, thus within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the only time I feel threatened from even something outside of mysef that has such intentions, is when I make that as myself, and that I accepted and allow myself to participate within that intent because of not allowing myself to breath here as one and equal with firstly myself here alone, and that the only way these points of outside influences that I've created I be an influence will change, is by first changing myself as a self trusting being, and thus in fact be able to walk through reactions of being in the case of an outside accepted and allowed influence. Thus within this, I commit myself to as well cross reference with current writings, as a way to beng myself back here to self focus, and self changing, and his within this realizing that this physical self only will change if ere is allowed trust between myself and my physical body.

I realize that trying to convey a physical image, and that trying to represent a physical strength, is my accepted and allowed inadequacy of being able to self trust myself as physical expression, and thus within this, when and as I see myself trying to convey a physical appearance of something higher than the very immediate expression it functions as, I stop, I breath, and within this I let go of the outside force within my mind as if there is an expectancy within my expression towards my process, or towards whatever it is outside of my process. Thus within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not let go of past memories that I've related towards this protection point within my process. Within this, I commit myself to apply myself with these corrections of coming back to self trust, and walking each point within the redefined starting point of trusting/knowing thyself, and within this directing myself as me within thus patients with each point, and not trying to protect an abstract position outside of my physical self.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize, that going and posting things on Facebook, or having this condescending behavior within knowledge as if to blame others for the support I 'feel' lacking towards myself, is only a void of accepting and allowing myself to trust myself here, and trusting myself to breath, trusting myself to be alone with myself, and thus within this, when and as I see myself trying to depend on another for there to be self support within myself, I stop, I breath, I practically let to of the participation through bringing it back to self, and in some cases applying self forgiveness t bring it back to self within the context of having allowed this dependency to accumulate. Within this, I commit myself to redefine my relationship to trusting others, as first coming to trust myself as life, and thus within this building a consistent and practical understanding of what it means to trust myself here as life, before ever considering helping another in terms of in fact supporting another life, when I require first building the application for myself as life alone one and equal as myself.

When and as I see myself trying to verify the want of another to support something within myself for me, and thus create a void of allowing myself to be supportive firstly for myself, and trying to verify the accumulation of having made another in my mind as having to see them be there, instead of allowing myself to bring it back to self accountability completely as self here, I stop, I breath, I let go of the words stated, let go of the points I accumulated, and firstly bring it back to a point of self trust, and within this coming back to in fact supporting myself within my points, and bring it back to walking patiently as self, calmly, and thus not rushing for a quick fix as allowing the result of fear of loss be the point of direction within myself, but however allowing mysef to come back to already being here with what I need to walk myself here alone, and thus not continue the point of dependency.

When and as I see myself allowing the fear construct of the existence within a reaction depict who I am, instead of trusting myself here within and as breath within each point step by step to where I create this want o have someone protect my from the outside force I've created from the reaction point, I stop e reaction firstly, and within this breathing, and coming back to self completely here win self trust as self first, and letting go of the reaction, letting go of the dependency, and within this giving myself the courage to in fact walk through each point with patients by giving myself that oppurtunity to trust myself within and as breath here, and earthing myself back here as practically living here as life, and standing ne and equal as myself here to walk through the points as self trustworthy here


When and as I see myself suppressing myself from a point within myself, I practically let to of thT point within consistent breathing here, and stop trying to validate the 'need' to be dependent on suppression and that construct I've accepted and allowed within myself, and instead breathing back here as self responsible, and thus self trust worthy that I will take responsibility for what's here as me, and thus in fact build a point of practical self trust from allowing myself to work with each point within trusting myself here as breath, and not as suppressing reactions.

When and as I see myself then creating this experience within myself as if I'm obligated to write out myself, or else, then I practically breath back to the redefined point of breathing as self trust, and I then take on the points as what I require doing from what's here, what is apart of schedule, what am I doing and should direct practically now, and within this, I commit myself to thus allow myself to redefine writing as writing self honestly from a starting point of self trust, and not as a point of having t get this school assignment done, or this 'job' done or else I won't get money from the job, and thus earthing myself here, and standing me and equal as myself here as each point for the point of building practical self trust within myself as life, And not as this consumer within my fears, but directing the fears as self, as breath here.

Wen and as I see myself self sabotaging myself under points as a result of trying to survive within the points and keep myself under the force and tension, I stop, I let go of the rushing reaction of having to figure out everything as to protect myself and thus within this, I commit myself to redefine being here with myself, as only when I allow myself to breath here as who I am as life, and that losing myself is only when I allow myself to not allow that trust to remain here as breath, and trusting that breath to direct myself back with each point no matter what circumstance I place within my mind from a reaction.

When and as I see myself trying to rush myself within a point of reaction, and then using the desteni members who have been experienced and live as an example of what I've accepted and allowed myself to be a void frm living within myself, and then using them as this driving point to write, or as this way to push myself to write, instead of simply living here as myself writing, I stop within the point of writing, and I breath, and within this earthing MySELF to being trustworthy. Thus it him this, I commit myself to redefine myself under my writings as a point of writing myself here as breath, as self supportive, and not as a energy void of having this idea of who I should be, and instead allowing me to be the directive principle as breath here within my words self honestly as me.

I commit myself to redefine my stance here, as exactly that, here as practical living breathing, and thus within this living as life within walking through each point self honestly here as myself, and not as this void of protecting myself within my own mind points, but instead practically taking on each point here self honestly as myself as breath, and within this building self responsibility, and building self trust, through actually allowing myself to build this point here as myself.p, as life, one and equal here. Within this, I commit myself to stop defining myself as words in my mind from points of reactions, but trust the breath, trust the physical, and within this allowing the physical to be my guideline to actually living vocabulary and words, and living principle, and thus within this, in fact building self trust, by living it primarily, and not by thinking before the breath, but breathing before I apply myself, and as I apply myself.

Day 84 - redefining starting point

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to apply my relationship to my process in regards to standing here as my process, as a point of having superiority over others, and as this way of being able to gain money out of my process for each point I apply and walk through.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus not actually walk through points to fully eradicate the feelings within myself to stand as life completely within the point I'm confronting, but however allowing myself to judge myself and go into anxiety win the point.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that walking through a point practically is only available when I allow/have allowed myself to breath consistently, and thus that being the determination of how effective the point is practically eradicated.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I thus require physically moving myself within each participation I correct myself to do in order to actually commit myself to the point here, and thus within the statement of self correction, actually focusing on each aspect of that self correction, and then to live that correction to in fact commit myself to stand here as life, thus not a point of feeling.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus not allow myself to breath and live those points here, because I'm deliberately holding back from fears I've related to the points I write out, and then not allowing myself to let go of those points in those moments where I can breath, simply because I am only wanting to verify the point of self protection and self interest within myself, and not actually physically push myself to change here within each point, within each moment of breath.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus define my relationship with my process, as if those point of say a physical appearance and my back making it unable for meto excersise   currently and probably for months to come, and then a point of letting go of that relationship (this being a current point) and the survival within that fear relationship or the negative outcome it in my mind of how my body will turn out from not exercising, be this driving point of how I move myself within my process. Thus, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have exercised as this way to try to convey physical strength as my strength here as a being, and thus creating a false image of this physical appearance, as supposedly my stability and strength to walk my process.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to relate my current ego deceptive relationships with others, as acceptable to currently exist while walking my process, as posting on Facebook points I try to convey as "everyone wake up" as to create a point of controlling others from actually seeing myself, and thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not let go of this idea as if I'm intellectual and need too resent myself as intellectual in order for others to support me. Thus within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create a void from building self support, and thus not wanting to in fact put in the effort to be the one to change what I see as unsupportive in my environment to a point of where there is gradual support.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus relate the points of self interests as not wanting to give them up for walking my process, and then trying to control and exploit others for a way for myself to try to have others sort of be supportive for me, and where I don't have to give up what I've accepted and allowed o be supportive.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus fear not having a person to ever be there to support me enough where I would be comfortable to give up these points of self interest, and thus within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not give myself the courage to stand up in most cases when I face points that society currently doesn't and wouldn't support, but instead banish a person from if in such positions I fear being in.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus have the starting point of gaining something out of doing self forgiveness, frm the perspective of being able to protect myself frm that point of fear happening, and then relating that protection point to my self forgiveness, and thus within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to becme indecisive and inconsistent and not willing, simply when I find that I have to let go of the fear factor of the self interest point, and then suppressing with isolation within myself.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to then feel obligated to write, as if I don't write, then I will receive the losing punishment end within the dimensions of my points.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself thus self sabotage myself under the points, and then start writing as to make up for the points, like paying back some mind mob, as to protect myself within the system to survive, instead of walking through the points here as living breath, and thus trusting myself as that breath and as that point of direction as life, without relating to the mind and this survival point.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus try to impress other members of desteni within my writings, as to protect myself from non destonians, or as this way to keep safe from my consequences as a system, and as if being in desteni just automatically protects my from my on accepted and allowed system as myself. Within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want to just go into this process for so many months, and then relating stories of others going to he farm, as if 'hopefully that'll be me' and like winning to survive and not fall within a non supportive environment and the aspects I see as unsupportive here.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create this within my mind from the perspective that I won't have to face the point of fearing the conseunces of certain points, as if I would get a soothing point of help frm another for current points as to getting like thrown in a prison or generally being banned for not meeting standards of current society, and thus within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to  to give myself breath completely here to stand within points within myself alone, and to completely stand as here within mysef to walk through the point as self responsible.

Part 2 with further self forgiveness

Day 83 - laziness part 4 - self corrective statements

When I see myself in and as self judging myself for a point that has yet to be utilized, or a point that I've allowed to accumulated where I then try to self sabatog within that loose end of myself instead of breathing back here to allowing myself to trust myself to walk through current points to eventually walk through that point - like falling of a skateboard and regardless of how bad the fall getting back up to ride the skateboard - I stop, I stop the participation within the point to what ever means I've created within the point, and thus stoping emotions that circulate that point, with breathing here, however allowing myself to actually breath consistently enough where I Llow myself to build that self trust to be patient with each point, and thus taking it step by step with myself as each point. Thus, I commit myself to redefine my starting point of standing up, as here starting from the point of self trust, with allowing myself the CHANCE to breath, like I have this living chance to stand. I could be near death in a bombing right now in the Middle East to it be able to stand, but I'm not, I have the tools, I have the capability, and I'm living comfortably to a well extent to stand here, so simply redefine myself as when I require standing, and giving myself trust within letting to of the points/distrust of myself, and allowing standing up completely tall to prevail as me.

When I see myself in and as self sabotaging myself within a point, due to a character relationship to a member, as if relating this point of punishing myself within my own inadequacy due to relating them as 'I'm never going to be able to walk through as well as them', then I simply stop the knowledge relationship that's constantly going through my head as that character relationship to them, and thus stop putting expectations towards myself that I obviously can't fulfill now, but within this knowing and understanding that all I require doing is being here being able to trust myself as who I am here, and within that actually applying In real time, real involvement with learning and educating myself to become adequate within process, where I can direct myself through points that I find difficult within myself here.

When I see myself trying to act out this desire of gaining acknowledgment for helping another out, Nd thus being indecisive within being ale to support even myself and thus let alone another And just causing more points within mysef to not actually stop and stand here alone as mysef to walk through a point within ME - I stop the participation with the conversations, the comments on Facebook, or the want to make a comment on smething that bothered me or that I wanted to 'save' someone from, and I bring it back to what the fuck is in me, what the fuck do I need to take care of to really take care of the other problems outside of me, and when will I will myself to stand and walk through the time this takes, by not that time being an idea, but actually walking through in and as the time? Thus, within this I commit myself to redefine my relationship to others in my mind through my back chat diary, and within my next blog on redefining my starting point, and giving myself direction out of self judgement from the accumulation of voiding knowledge from applying knowledge here as myself.

When I see myself in and as creating blame towards another, and within this trying to verify that blame instead of letting it go to come back here as self directive principle and thus focusing primarily on the shit within myself - I walk back here through focusing on what's here in front of me, and thus within this, I commit myself to build up the principle of breathing with what's here, through memorizing current exercises, and applying one tools along with building new tools for myself during work in my physical participation journal.

When I see myself in and as expecting a point of stability, and thus not in fact trusting myself within breath here, I continue to practice breathing, and continue walking through building up trust within moments of distrust through following each point and guiding mysef within how I participate and what I will participate in, and thus within this in fact building a point of stability.

When I see myself in and as fearing the reaction as bigger than me, and thus allowing that reaction to determine who I am here, even in cases where I really see a problem, I simply keep breathing, I simply keep walking through each point, untill I find mysef in the standing position to take on that point which I find to be multi dimensional. Thus I thin this, I commit myselfto redefine my starting point to letting go of multidimensional/confusing points.

When I see myself in and As trying to relate survival to points, or trying to relate my points t being able to survive in the system as my personality related system, and thus trying to walk through points to survive, I stop, I breath, and I stabilize myself within the point by continueing relating myself as breath to the point, and thus letting go of the want to gaining and surviving off of the point. Thus I commit myself to redefine howiapproach myself within following through with a point, as to build a point of actually slowly walking through points, Nd not rushing to get somewhere, like a rush to get to 'work' and getting the money to buy the product and get happy.

When I see myself in and as misdirected, I immediately stop, and I breath, untill I am back to a point of directing myself slowly, and not in a rush, through points, and thus helping myself with self direction as to what's here, and not as a money system, a personality system. Thus, I commit myself to start on redefining my starting point within my next blog to assist myself further within this point of slowing down and trusting myself within breathing back here.

Day 83 - lazyness part 3 - self corrective statements

When I see myself in and as moving myself under the construct of lazyness, I see myself in and as breath, and how my physical body is determined to stay alive, and within this build up the consideration throu breathin back to a point of stability within what's here, and within this sometimes even somewhat having to really focus n breathing to let go of moments that my mind wants to be the leader.

 When I see myself in and as creating the expectation of convenience within a point, or when I find myself resisting a difficult point - I stop breath, and I come back here, and within that moment, redefine my stance within each point I allowed myself to exploit to where I have related a mind attachment or a self interest attachment to walking my process further.

 When I see myself in and as allowing anxiety to take over my direction (especially when its sudden) and instead of breathing eventually within that moment, allowing self sabotage to not breath through the point determine my allowance of breathing or not - I let go of each point of self sabotage and emotional attachment to a moment of intense anxiety, or go to an isolated area for a moment to breath Nd literally stay there untill. Am stable to direct movement as breath, thus when I see myself in and as myself making excuses because of when others are around hich would cause more anxiety, I allow myself to breath within doing this, by going outside or in a bathroom, and then from is point seeing what's in front of me, and then going back with a primary focus of task.

 When I see myself making the excuse that how I feel is just 'too much' to be able to breath through, I breath through this point and moment of excuse and resistance, and from here on, allowing myself to take a step by step direction back to what's here. Thus, when I see myself in heavy resistance, or accumulate to this point - I first stop, breath. I then walk to an isolated area, and when in the area, stating 3 self forgiveness statements, and a corrective statement to come back to here. Then walking back, and continuing focusing on breathing primarily, and even in reaction to others around me. Within is, letting go of the points that caused me to fall, or anything related to a reaction. Thus within this really testing myself within each step to will myself to come back here.

When I see myself in and as allowing accumulated emotions to be the reality of what's in front of me, and self sabotage myself to this point - I stop, I breath, and I create the starting point within that moment that what's only here is myself living, and within this feel myself or do something to snap myself to coming back here, and thus, walking previous steps to breathing within myself. Within this I commit myself to investigate my starting pont and redefining my starting point within process in my next blog.

When I see myself in and as dwelling on points from the fear of 'bei a fuck up' in society, or being placed to any extent that society would place me at with related points, and then self sabotaging myself within this to not stand here as life and not a system to change myself within that point - I stop, I breath, and I let to of the point very strictly till I'm back here, and not allowing that point to accumulate any further to settling from self judgements, or further self judgements that I would only allow the point to remain and not be taken care of as life. Within this I commit myself to redefine starti point to points I relate to placing myself in and as a position of 'I'm a fuck up'

When I see myself in and as allowing the enslavement from fear determine my action to a point, due to fearing the negative that I accepted and allowed to let that point settle as its very creation. I stop, I breath, and I walk through the point, with the understanding of that breath being the very thing I'm coming back to, and that the point in itself is simply an illusion to keep myself from being that real self, and being here as empowered within the point. Thus within this, when I see myself in and as letting the feeling of comfortability determine whether I will walk through a point or not, I redefine my position here physically as breath, and walk through the point thus here slowly as breath, and allowing that trust of ability to make it through the point to here as stand breath, and not as the intense thought. I commit myself to redefine my stance within and as a thought that I would usually percieve as 'bigger than me'

Self corrections will finish in part 4

Day 83 - lazyness part 2

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to try to hold back from points as thus creating the innevitable judgements that come with the particular reactions from the points within myself that I accepte and allow myself to hold back from.

 I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create self judgement within my process, due to moments within my process where I allowed myself to hold back when recieving support from a member who I compared myself to in desteni, and then once I was supported, instead of being equal within that relationship to e member and recieving it as practically t the point they were referring to, I received it as dominant them and me less than them for my inadequacy, thus within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to define inadequacy as something a person has that somehow makes them superior to someone who doesn't have certain abilities, and understanding.

 I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus compare myself to other beings outside of desteni, and replace the who I've placed as dominant to me, in and as me as the character I represented as them, and then reflecting points of knowledge within myself towards others outside of desteni to protect myself from actually applying that within dishonesty I have, and then once I come up to a difficult point, I will self judge myself, because I've accepted myself to place myself as superior to another, and so us within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow humiliaty exist within and as myself when facing difficult points,due to wanting to hold on to points of acting as if that has already been utilized within myself.

 I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to therefor allow blame to continue existing within myself when seeing points within myself, as thus reflecting these points towards others instead of breathing here with what's here to stop those reactions frm accumulating.

 I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus expect myself to ahold a certain stance of stability, because I've accepted and allowed myself to not in fact be willing to walk through points within mysef that test my willingness to actually remain here as breath within and as myself, but instead allow the thoughts and the emotions and addictions stay and settle within and as myself without allowing myself to change these points.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus not be able to enjoy breathing here, because of allowing reactions that cnsistofinnevitable distrust to determine who I am, and thus trying to verify these reactions as being able to settle and remain as mysef within my process, and not allowing myself to completely let go of the self interest aspect and breath effectively here.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to try to rush through my process within competition and winning and gaining something from my process, and thus essentially fighting my process be ause I'm not actually building a foundation and a starting point of self trust for myself as life, but instead allowing points within myself remain as me competing with others every time I decieve a reaction, and thus within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow conflict to disempower myself when facing it, instead of allowing myself to consistently breath, and thus build from the points of conflict through physical movement, and physical application, and not allowing this point of physical application to be the focus when in a reaction, and thus not allowing myself to move within each reaction as step by step, as self trust.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not thus actually experiment within consistent breathing and consistent application, and then writing out points of mind participation that influences my process, when reaching moments of misdirection and when in moments of finding my self stuck. Within this, I commit myself to build a point of patients within myself, as to walking myself from here on to the next point, and within this coming back to consistent breathing.

Self corrections in part 3

Day 83 - lazyness part 1

I Forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be determined with how I move in and as lazyness.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to define myself under lazyness, due to fears of moving throu points within myself, more so than others. Thus win this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow expectation of certain points being more convenient than others, to determine when and when I don't have the power to change myself.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow lazyness to define me in and as movement, when I become anxious in and as walking through a point, where I will be walking through a point, and then I accepted and allow lazyness to be the outcome of covering up my knowledge/understanding that that point that i walk through, can be walked through as LNG as I applied myself to breathing, and letting go, but instead allowing lazyness to be the immediate prevailed choice when facing points.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus let points Ccumulate regardless of the known consequences, simply because 'I don't feel like breathin' 'I don't feel like walking through breathing and what breathing offers me within my self application within self honesty'.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus be defined by accumulated emotions.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow these emotions to guide me as what's real and what's not real, and thus within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to let the awareness of my past depict the outcome of my future, and thus within is, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow the point of "I'm a fuck up" determine my living decision to walk through difficult points.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus relate difficulty as 'bigger than me', and thus the bigger meaning I am the inferior, and thus within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow my egos functioning be the decision maker of when and when I won't stand. Thus within is, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize, that the only way I will become living effective here, is that I build up the strength and courage here physically, to walk through tough shit, to walk through my fears, and not t allow the very foundation of survival be the keeper of my own self destruction, but allowing the physical to flourish myself from the enslavement of fear, and becme life here.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself, to thus through fear, create this predetermined notion within myself and my process, that I MuST stand up, or else I will be punished. Thus, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not walk through the points I've related in and as my concious mind to my issues internally, but to instead let them settle due t not breathing through to understanding my concious mind manipulation trap to kee myself from standing here as life, thus within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear my own mind, instead of understanding it as simply an accepted and allowed system, that doesn't exist, and thus requires time to eradicate through walking through points and wires of myself slowly. Thus within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to consider myself as life under my process, which this life walking through points that always make sure that those points are walked through for myself as life, including all life, but not REALy considering myself as life within this process, but instead as this punished being for hat I have done, and not allowing myself to enjoy myself within the process.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus not allow myself to walk through points that concern self judgement, to give myself a chance to really get to the core problem with the ability to accept mysef as life win why I'm walking through that problem of self judgement.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus not investigate the starting point and the aspiration as to why I'm doing why I'm doing - why am I breathing - why am I writting - why am I cleaning. Within this, I commit myself to give myself support through investigAting and studying basic income and equal money, as to build a foundation of practical sense when having to consider personal problems required facing.


Continueing to part 2

Day 81 - happiness in process part 2 - further SFS/SCS

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create the point of expectation/self interest within my individual process to living here, that when I am walking through breathing here, I find if difficult to keep it simple practically here with each point, due to the expectation of garuntee within gaining something frm what I forgive myself and walk myself through/within.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus create intense breathing, where I force my breathing very aggressively, and not keep it stable and practical when I am simply here, and thus within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to relate a heavy breath in and breath out, to holding onto the expectation of happiness to the extent of anxiety and procrastination within what's here as me within actual breathing.

When I see myself in and as relating the point of happiness to breathing, as a point of trying to escape from the points, instead of breathing to in fact come back to what's here, and embracing myself as that breath to what's here, and to thus let go of it in terms of coming back here, as a reference point to assist and support myself to eventually get to the point but with the patients of with I am currently dealing with here. I let go of the expectation of feeling and emotion, with coming back to focusing practically with what's in front of me, and thus build a foundation of practice to come back to what I'm working with, and thus being able to depict what's in fact best for myself as what's here as physical experience, in relationship to the breath that allows me to experience that physical relationship, and thus in fact letting go of the mind manipulation points that accumulate with radical breathing, to thus slow myself down, to the point of in fact, radical responsibility, and radical relationship, which is thus showing, that by breathing, I am allowing myself to be patient and take it slow, and thus actually willing effectiveness through taking it slow as breath.

When I see myself in and as judging myself within my breath, due to relating the past to my breath, and then suppressing this point through creating self interest within my breath - I let go of the point I've related to myself as breath, with breathing as its back to here, and within this just as well when I see myself in and as accumulating the mind.

When I see myself in and as suppressing my process with the delusion of peace and harmony as this way of exploiting myself within breathing here, as if I'm supposed to have comfort within breathing as opposed to discomfort of the mind, in terms of this being expected - I come back to self, within the very points I require walking through, that I require facing, and I embrace that as what I require taking responsibility for, and thus, and simply using breathing to assist and support myself to walk through the points effectively, and clearly.

When I see myself in and as having the reaction to exploiting my breath to not take self responsibility as breath, through judgements as a way to self sabotage myself from remaining as stable breath to take self responsibility for the points within myself, I stop the nonsense point of rushing myself within my mind, and I simply breath here, as with what's here, and slow myself down to the point of dealing with what's here, letting go of the mistake, and then starting again, and assisting and supporting myself with breath, with practically each point, and stopping the excuse to rush myself, and thus in fact procrastinate myself from real self responsibility - through breathing/radical breathing.

When I see myself in and as relating breathing, as this mind state of peace, and thus a feeling of love and light and self interest, in fear of chaos and allowing points within myself to accumulate from not breathing here - I practically stop the point of expectation within survival, and come back to self, as with what I am working with here, and simply starting from that point and continuing to the next point, step by step with breath, and thus breathing to assist and support myself to real stability, to real intent of harmony for what's best for all, and thus assisting myself to becme adequate enough to follow the necessary physical procedures within myself and my environment.

When I see myself in and as making excuses to not face a point, I assist and support myself with breathing, to come back to self within that dimension, with understanding that the breath is what brings me back here alone, and thus once its breathing, I can direct myself through the point, because the breathing is assisting me as life, to not be the mind, but to live in relationship with what I've accepted and allowed myself to corrupt as the mind.

When I see mysef in and as trying to verify my automatic nature as the mind, and accepting and allowing the automatic knowledge misdirect me to the point of creating and thus trying to continue my decision making out of fear and dishonesty - I stop, I breath, untill I am back to self honest direction here, and I thin this, letting go of the excuses, letting to of the worry, and fear of misdirection and thus the point of losing within that corrupted relationship I try to thus verify, and I bring myself back to where and what I was proving lay able to direct myself with with the tools of self honest application, and within this, understanding, that a real relationship, will consist of my willingness to solve any problem and thus abstract effect within that once real relationship, and thus in fact assisting and supporting myself, within each breath, to direct myself within a self honest relationship, untill it is done, untill it is back to its original automated state.

When I see myself in and as expecting this easier position within my process, due to the exploitation of self forgiveness statements that I currently laid out for myself - I stop, I let go of that expectation of an easier position and somehow advantage to walk through further points, and I thus give myself the real assistance and support to come back to this point, to the next point I face, as thus, walking principle no matter how hard the point is, and thus in fact allowing myself to walk through that point, in fact with what's here, no past, no future. I commit myself to focus on my breathing patterns when I am here breathing, and how my own breathing reacts to a certain point within myself, within firstly the points I have laid out for myself as record within this blog. Thus within this, I commit mysef to remain here as breath, and to know that I have a guideline to taking the next step within each point to the extent of support I've shared for myself here with effective and real breathing.

Day 81 - happiness in process part 1

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create happiness when I breath, as if the breathing is supposed to releave me from what I've accepted and allowed within and as my mind conciousness system.

 I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create the point of happiness when breathing, as a point of self judgement to having not allowed myself to breath before I allowed myself to breath.

 I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to relate breathing to peac pe and harmony, as if breathing is this movie relationship, where the character was in so much pain and suffering, and then I ally, he finds peace and harmony.

 I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to then judge myself within my breathing, and feel insecure within my breathing, due to exploiting my breathing as a point of peace and harmony related to the point of happiness.

 I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus create the expectation of harmony within my process, in fear of being in a state of chaos within myself, and thus suppressing this fear and reflection of my mind, to peace and harmony, when I am in a state of breathing.

 I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself, to thus relate the point of breathing, to this moment of being able to have this advantage to not allow my self accepted and allowed automated nature to take over me, thus within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself, to not realize, that this happiness relationship to breathing, is the point of my mind, trying to get this quick fix from what I've accepted and allowed in and as myself, and thus within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to expect a feeling in relationship to breathing, in order to not on fact face points within myself, and thus innevitably, not allowing myself to breath effectively, due to the excuse of 'I don't feel like doing that' when I do in fact face a point whilst breathing.

 I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus have manipulated the point of breathing, with the notion that breathing is a way to get me out of self responsibility, thus within this,
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not breath here, specifically to create manual direction to what requires taking care of the fucking problem within myself that I've related to what's here.

 Part 2 with SCS

Day 80 - expecting a voice in my head to do it for me - self corrective statements

When I see myself in and as not breathing here, I will firstly, let go of all thoughts by breathing, and then simultaneously, when I have the clear opportunity to open up and share a point And face and a point within myself, I continue to let to of all excuses, of all thoughts in general not to face the point, and then take it step by step with breath by breath. And push through the hardship of emotions with breath, untill I walk through the point with breath fully, and untill I am stable enough to come back here within my day to day living, with breath, and thus being able to direct myself within and as breath here, self honestly, and us that actually representing my willingness to in fact keep it simple and step by step within breathing here. Thus within this, I commit myself to breath through the moments when I find myself scared, and placing excuses and fears within myself t not physically work and utilize myself to physically adapt to what I require utilizing, and within this, always making sure to slow myself down when I've allowed a point to continue within myself, and to simply breath, and continue taking it step by step, and thus willingly, untill that point is brought up, and then breathing through the point when in that clear moment to confront the point, and even if I I recognizably fall, breath through errors in my schedule, and thus within this, I commit mysef to utilize a part of my schedule within self forgiveness to give myself opportunities to self correct myself after facing a point I require utilizing within that moment.

 When I see myself in and as finding it difficult to take direction, and find a tough point within allot of emotional misdirection that I accept and allow to influence myself to hold back, and then start to try to figure it all out at once in fear of that very misdirection - I stop, I breath, and I let go of the point within breath, and regardless of where I'm at, knowing and understanding t this extent, that once I allow myself to really let to of what I'm trying to protect with breathing, then I can really bring mysef back here to simplicity, and thus simple direction.

 When I see myself n and as lacking consideration for what's here, and accumulating this within and as myself as dishonesty to walk through the discomfort and of what ever. See myself in and as not considering something. I stop, I slow down, and I continue breathing here, and then, focus on Jodi can get to a position of writting the point out, or stating the point out loud step by step, and thus within this, I commit myself to always make sure to breath here, and then see what's the most effective walking point to where. Left off within and as myself, and frm this, allowing mysef to stop the fear of intending something accumulative, with knowing and understanding to this extent, that I have real direction to work with to in fact prevent points from manifesting and sabotaging my relationships, and that I have allowed myself to know that in order to tab olive myself even in the hardest of points, that all I require, is breathing here, and from that breath, seeing what needs to be utilized frm a simple point within myself that I've utilized, to thus assist and support myself to push through the points of inconsideration.

 When I see myself in and as postponing myself deliberately to not walk through step by step more so than the willingness of my breath here, and thus see myself in and as inevitably allowing myself to lose that breath, I simply stop, I slow down, I breath, at the same time, focusing on the darkness, focusing on the intense emotions, and within this,with each breath, walking through the shit, and taking the first stand, and then breathing, then once I can move to the next step, take that stand within breath, then keep moving within and as breath, then so on, untill I am here again, day to day, with practical direction, and thus when I see mysef in and as making the excuse to not walk through a point because I see that there are many loose ends, and the consequences of these loose ends, I stop, I breath, and I let go of those points, and thus stop the excuses within myself, and then, from this, taking that step by step, breath by breath stand back to considering what's here, in and as myself, within solving each point, point by point.

 When I see myself taking advantage and exploiting my breath here with the thought of being able to gain money, and gain skills better and more effectively, and making the excuse that the knowledge of this, means I can continue manipulating my breath as gaining money and exploiting my relationships for money, I slow don, let go of the point breath by breath, and within this seeing what's in fact here, and what I in fact need to work with here, and thus when I see myself in and as procrastinated within movement, and limited within effectiveness because of fantasies, I breath, I let to of the expectations, and when in the clear position to walk through the point, I do it then, and also within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that physical participation, is a way to help with understanding that real relationship, and that real point of working with as physical,and not as a consciousness relationship. Thus within this, I commit myself to also Corliss reference with the physical participation schedule apwhen I see mysef in and as losing working what's here, and thus showing myself, that there is a document of information I've given myself, high if not fully effective, its still plenty of mapping to work off of and in fact make it as a way to better direct myself practically. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus also exploit this relationship to schedule, frm the excuses of not in fact participating within each moment of schedule due to postponement within breathing and considering schedule fully. Thus within this, I commit mysef to utilize the point of writing in the morning and reading blogs the night before, to give mysef directive principle for the rest of my schedule, and thus within is, when I see myself in and as finding mysef not fully certain whether my schedule is fully supportive, I then write myself if haven't already, and utilizing off of what I have written to support myself most effectively within step by step daily living.

When I see myself in and as judging myself to particular points within myself, especially after accumulating to a certain extent of having mind fucked myself out of a fall in most cases, or simply from the point of trying to verify the point I'm allowing myself to not walk through here - I stop, I breath, I let go of the expectation realized within myself through breathing, and I simply come back to where I currently am, and wherei need to move next, including letting to of self hatred, self regret, and understanding that, in order to change the point within myself, I can neither have positive or negative expectation, and thus by letting go of the points of expectation, I can n fact release the point of accepted and allowed judgement win myself, by coming back here, with breath, and within, this, always understanding, that I'm simply walking with what I'm capable of walking with, and frm there, moving towards the next step, and utilizing myself the best and most effective, with breath with each point.

When I see myself in and as becoming in an unstable state of direction within any circumstance, and find myself finding it more difficult to breath, I then within this, slow myself down within action, within what I'm participating in, and then letting go apogee the protections slowly, through focusing on what's here in front one physically, and thus within this, allowing myself to eventually calm down, go to an isolated area, breath, let the thoughts go, go listen to some nice music, or go on a walk, and within this, coming back to the point I left off much more effectively, and thus not allowing myself to create the point of self judgement, of self protection within a point that I allowed to accumulate As negative, and thus within slowing down action, being able to easily and more effectively, reach the next step, gather myself, let go of the expectation, and push myself through, with slowness, and with calmness, and also, letting go of the want of supressin through this, and coming back to self with breath, with acceptance, and then walking through the next point I deliberate direction t taking care of that point, and learning frm mistakes within this as well, in counter to making excuses for the mistakes.