I forgive myself for wanting to play guitar within the thought that it will be fun, and that I can escape reality. Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to escape reality, because I want to feel better about myself. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want to feel better about myself, because reality is something I've always hidden from.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide from reality, because I feel vulnerable to reality, and feel like the world will never change. Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel like the world will never change, because I've been in a belief system of experiencing myself within surviving in this world. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I need to survive in this world, because I fear changing myself within this world, in order to change this world in a place that I would want for myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get a physical feeling of euphoria when I see my guitar, within this, I forgive myself for getting a shockwave through my chest when I see my guitar. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get a shockwave through my chest, because I want to escape reality, and that I've programmed myself to look at the guitar every time I come in my room, so that I can escape self responsibility, from facing myself.
When and as I want to play my guitar to escape my reality, I stop, and breath, and I do something more supportive, and within this, I inhibit the act of playing guitar to escape my reality.
When and as I see myself wanting to feel better about myself in order to escape reality, I stop, I breath, and I forgive the point that I want to feel better about within myself.
When and as I see myself wanting to feel better about myself, due to reality being something I've always hidden from, I instead write out one point in my reality that I've always hidden from, and I apply myself to face that point. For example - facing "existing as sharing, out of wanting others to like me/it" within this, I commit myself to do something more supportive than playing guitar when I want to escape reality, and to move myself to support myself, into facing myself in this one point of "existing as sharing, out of wanting others to like me/it".
When and as I see myself feeling like the world will never change, out of me feeling vulnerable to the world, and out of therefor wanting to hide, I stop, I breath, and I instead stick with breathing, focusing, and applying self directive principle to what's here.
I see and realize, that I have been limited within the belief, that I have to survive within this world, in order to experience myself within good feelings. Within this, I commit myself, to redefine one good feeling that I experience, throughout my day.
I commit myself to face myself within as many moments as possible, within the construct of self forgiveness, and self corrective statements, with breathing, with focusing, and with questioning, releasing, and solving.
When and as I see myself experiencing euphoria when I see my guitar, I stop, I breath, and I instead of looking at my guitar when coming in my room one day, I look at my bed, and then the next day, look at my guitar. Within this, inhibiting the reaction to looking at my guitar when coming in my room.
When and as I see myself getting a shock wage through my chest when seeing my guitar, I stop, I breath, and I instead focus on my breath, and focus on what I am doing HERE, and thus creating a more supportive intent.
I commit myself to not look at the guitar when coming in my room every other day, within the understanding, that this will allow myself to better understand what I'm facing, and better understand, what I do to prevent self responsibility, and prevent facing myself.
Friday, November 13, 2015
Day 139 - existing within sharing, out of wanting others to like me/it
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within and as the point of wanting to share videos, posts, comments, replies, out of the desire for likes, and out of the desire for others to think I'm a good person. Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress myself from expressing myself within self responsibility of sharing myself for others to see, as only wanting to share out of others to think I'm a good person.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to share myself with others, within the hope that I will receive a like, within the hope that I will receive multiple likes, thus within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to share myself within self interest of wanting others to see what I'm doing in hopes that they think there's nothing wrong with me, and within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to limit myself within sharing, within the fear that there's something wrong with me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thus feel motivated when seeing likes and comments of "positivity" on my posts and on my shares. Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide myself I a. Little bubble of happiness within what I share on Facebook or to others, out of the fear that I will actually have to face myself within my reality, and within my environment, and within relationship to other people. Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress fears, and to suppress my relationship to myself, and to other people through wanting to share in hopes of getting likes.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thus judge myself within what I'm doing, and then instead of facing myself within that point for myself, I rather go into a point of thinking others will see it and like it, and think that I'm a good person.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thus not gift myself the ability to face myself, gift myself the ability to do better, and to gift myself the ability to work with myself, and work within releasing points, and actually being able to do this in living principled application. Within this, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself, to be committed to living for what's best for all, and being committed to live this first, before sharing it. Within this, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself, to share myself on Facebook, within the understanding of these principles.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thus hide from my circumstances, through sharing posts. Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to share posts on Facebook within the intent of projecting myself onto other people, as if they are like me, and will accept me for "who I am", without considering the consequence of this, within - showing people what I'm doing, and then not actually living, within the participation within energy towards this point.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thus not share within the principle of what's best to share, but instead sharing what I want to share, instead of sharing what I need to share. Within this, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself, to limit myself physically within sharing, in terms of scheduling my vlogs, and scheduling my shares on Facebook, and within this, investigating the reactions to when I want to share, and thus changing this point of self interest within sharing, into creating a point of learning what sharing really means, and what sharing consists of.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thus not see and realize, that sharing is for supporting others, in seeing that I am consistent, in seeing that I am supporting self, and seeing that I am living principles. Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to have created the illusion of living principles, through depending on other people emotionally.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thus apply my emotional dependency towards other people, towards desteni, towards more personal relationship, onto sharing, and onto applying myself to responsibilities.
Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to build confidence, through depending on others emotionally, instead of applying what I learn from them, into my life, and into myself, into what I know I can become, and know I need to become, in order to change this world. Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to relate wanting to change, to self interest, instead of relating wanting to change, for a real purpose, which is, to change this world, which start with facing myself in this world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thus not face myself fully, and applying self responsibility fully, to the point where I in fact change myself, and face myself. Within this, I see and realize, that I must face my reality, that I must face emotions, and face circumstances, and place myself in a more supportive position, out of the understanding, that I will be facing myself in these circumstances, and to understand that I must learn what it truly means to live change, and to live self responsibly.
Within this, I commit myself to apply change, in each and every way possible, by applying principles, and common sense, and a schedule for myself, and responsibility for myself, to face myself in what I've accepted and allowed myself to limit myself with, and to limit myself from changing, and facing myself in fears, and in emotions, and to face myself in relationship to this world.
Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to only want what's runs, only want what's easy, instead of really standing, and actually applying change to myself, applying oppurtunity to myself, which is the real change, that will ripple through the tools I use, through the things I do, and will show what I really can become, and show my true strength. Within this, I commit myself to focus myself on things that will actually support me within my days of living, and to actually learn how to apply living in this world.
So within this, I see that I want to experience my free time, which I scheduled, but instead, I could find better things to do, and better things that can support myself before going to bed.
Watching desteni videos.
Reading others blogs.
Listening to what my buddy suggested me listen to - your wish is your command.
Within this, I see and realize, that this shows that I have the opportunity to be the best version of myself, through applying myself within self responsibility, and letting go of old perspectives, and limited thinking, but to instead always challenge myself, and to always live within doing what's best.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to share myself with others, within the hope that I will receive a like, within the hope that I will receive multiple likes, thus within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to share myself within self interest of wanting others to see what I'm doing in hopes that they think there's nothing wrong with me, and within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to limit myself within sharing, within the fear that there's something wrong with me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thus feel motivated when seeing likes and comments of "positivity" on my posts and on my shares. Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide myself I a. Little bubble of happiness within what I share on Facebook or to others, out of the fear that I will actually have to face myself within my reality, and within my environment, and within relationship to other people. Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress fears, and to suppress my relationship to myself, and to other people through wanting to share in hopes of getting likes.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thus judge myself within what I'm doing, and then instead of facing myself within that point for myself, I rather go into a point of thinking others will see it and like it, and think that I'm a good person.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thus not gift myself the ability to face myself, gift myself the ability to do better, and to gift myself the ability to work with myself, and work within releasing points, and actually being able to do this in living principled application. Within this, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself, to be committed to living for what's best for all, and being committed to live this first, before sharing it. Within this, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself, to share myself on Facebook, within the understanding of these principles.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thus hide from my circumstances, through sharing posts. Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to share posts on Facebook within the intent of projecting myself onto other people, as if they are like me, and will accept me for "who I am", without considering the consequence of this, within - showing people what I'm doing, and then not actually living, within the participation within energy towards this point.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thus not share within the principle of what's best to share, but instead sharing what I want to share, instead of sharing what I need to share. Within this, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself, to limit myself physically within sharing, in terms of scheduling my vlogs, and scheduling my shares on Facebook, and within this, investigating the reactions to when I want to share, and thus changing this point of self interest within sharing, into creating a point of learning what sharing really means, and what sharing consists of.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thus not see and realize, that sharing is for supporting others, in seeing that I am consistent, in seeing that I am supporting self, and seeing that I am living principles. Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to have created the illusion of living principles, through depending on other people emotionally.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thus apply my emotional dependency towards other people, towards desteni, towards more personal relationship, onto sharing, and onto applying myself to responsibilities.
Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to build confidence, through depending on others emotionally, instead of applying what I learn from them, into my life, and into myself, into what I know I can become, and know I need to become, in order to change this world. Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to relate wanting to change, to self interest, instead of relating wanting to change, for a real purpose, which is, to change this world, which start with facing myself in this world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thus not face myself fully, and applying self responsibility fully, to the point where I in fact change myself, and face myself. Within this, I see and realize, that I must face my reality, that I must face emotions, and face circumstances, and place myself in a more supportive position, out of the understanding, that I will be facing myself in these circumstances, and to understand that I must learn what it truly means to live change, and to live self responsibly.
Within this, I commit myself to apply change, in each and every way possible, by applying principles, and common sense, and a schedule for myself, and responsibility for myself, to face myself in what I've accepted and allowed myself to limit myself with, and to limit myself from changing, and facing myself in fears, and in emotions, and to face myself in relationship to this world.
Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to only want what's runs, only want what's easy, instead of really standing, and actually applying change to myself, applying oppurtunity to myself, which is the real change, that will ripple through the tools I use, through the things I do, and will show what I really can become, and show my true strength. Within this, I commit myself to focus myself on things that will actually support me within my days of living, and to actually learn how to apply living in this world.
So within this, I see that I want to experience my free time, which I scheduled, but instead, I could find better things to do, and better things that can support myself before going to bed.
Watching desteni videos.
Reading others blogs.
Listening to what my buddy suggested me listen to - your wish is your command.
Within this, I see and realize, that this shows that I have the opportunity to be the best version of myself, through applying myself within self responsibility, and letting go of old perspectives, and limited thinking, but to instead always challenge myself, and to always live within doing what's best.
Day 139 - reacting in fear to the bombing situations and terrorist attacks part 2
When and as I see myself going into fear of my life being taken away, within this situation with Paris/terrorist attacks, within the context of my accepted and allowed emotions, related to situations like this, and related to the understanding that my life could be taken away and abused like others, I stop, I breath, and I walk through the point, and work with what's here, see that my environment here, is what can be used, to reflect on, and to relate that understanding that it can all be taken away, into a change within myself, to a change within my understanding of myself, which is, that I am equal to the abuse in this, world, that I am equal to the suffering in this world, and that the only way this shit is going to get fixed, is the will and purpose of changing myself.
I see and realize that these fears of something bad happening, or not happening, is the representation, that I am deluded, that I am an abuser, and that I have effected and rippled abuse within this world, and that I have been a stern participator as an abuser, and as a user of the system. Within this, I see and realize, that I must change myself, and allow myself, and push myself to face the suffering of this world, through changing myself, and changing who I've accepted and allowed myself to pretend to be, to pretend that I am happy, to pretend that I am a good person. Within this, I see and realize that I have always acted in pretending way, and have always pretended that I don't abuse, and don't contribute to the abuse.
I see and realize that I can reflect, and change myself within things that I see are not completely supportive for myself, that I can change the suppression systems, to what I've used as a coping mechanism to my emotions, and thus within this, I commit myself to process these things I'm realizing within myself, and to change them, and to work on facing change within these points, and to face the delusion, and the illusion, that I'm somehow a good person, and that I'm somehow safe within this accepted and allowed embodiment of abuse.
I commit myself to face myself within my emotions, within my fears, within my limitations, and within my accepted and allowed beliefs, and perspectives, and opinions, in order to eventually get to a point where I can face myself within what I've accepted and allowed to exist as ego, to exist as not facing myself as ego, and to not be willing to just give up the ego, and to just face myself, and to just see myself within who the fuck I really am.
I see and realize, that I have suppressed points of fear, and have suppressed points of not taking self responsibility. Thus within this, I see and realize that I, being in the feeling of contentment, is only going to last for so long, and is only going to be thought of being real for so long, and so within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist in and as the point of ego, to exist within and as the point of delusion, and as the point of limitation, and as the point of being an abuser, and a user. Within this I commit myself to face myself in relationship to how I've used, how I've abused,
I commit myself to push myself to face as much as I can, throughout each and every day, and to reflect on how I experience myself towards others, and to face myself within self responsibility, and how I've accepted and allowed myself to limit myself within my own environment, and to make excuses to not face myself within my environment, and within this world that I've accepted and allowed to relate and exist within and as abusive.
I see and realize that these fears of something bad happening, or not happening, is the representation, that I am deluded, that I am an abuser, and that I have effected and rippled abuse within this world, and that I have been a stern participator as an abuser, and as a user of the system. Within this, I see and realize, that I must change myself, and allow myself, and push myself to face the suffering of this world, through changing myself, and changing who I've accepted and allowed myself to pretend to be, to pretend that I am happy, to pretend that I am a good person. Within this, I see and realize that I have always acted in pretending way, and have always pretended that I don't abuse, and don't contribute to the abuse.
I see and realize that I can reflect, and change myself within things that I see are not completely supportive for myself, that I can change the suppression systems, to what I've used as a coping mechanism to my emotions, and thus within this, I commit myself to process these things I'm realizing within myself, and to change them, and to work on facing change within these points, and to face the delusion, and the illusion, that I'm somehow a good person, and that I'm somehow safe within this accepted and allowed embodiment of abuse.
I commit myself to face myself within my emotions, within my fears, within my limitations, and within my accepted and allowed beliefs, and perspectives, and opinions, in order to eventually get to a point where I can face myself within what I've accepted and allowed to exist as ego, to exist as not facing myself as ego, and to not be willing to just give up the ego, and to just face myself, and to just see myself within who the fuck I really am.
I see and realize, that I have suppressed points of fear, and have suppressed points of not taking self responsibility. Thus within this, I see and realize that I, being in the feeling of contentment, is only going to last for so long, and is only going to be thought of being real for so long, and so within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist in and as the point of ego, to exist within and as the point of delusion, and as the point of limitation, and as the point of being an abuser, and a user. Within this I commit myself to face myself in relationship to how I've used, how I've abused,
I commit myself to push myself to face as much as I can, throughout each and every day, and to reflect on how I experience myself towards others, and to face myself within self responsibility, and how I've accepted and allowed myself to limit myself within my own environment, and to make excuses to not face myself within my environment, and within this world that I've accepted and allowed to relate and exist within and as abusive.
Day 139 - reacting in fear to the bombing situations and terrorist attacks
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to react in fear of the terrorist attacks around the globe, within the fear that something is going to happen here in my city, to fear that martial law will happen, and my life will be taken, and my "freedom" will be taken.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see and realize, and be self honest about, that this is the consequence I've accepted and allowed to occur in this world, and that this is practically a consequence of what the world is leading to, which is self destruction. Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to not see and realize, and understand, that I've accepted and allowed myself to experience emotions, and feelings, that have been within the deep rooted understanding, that people in this world are constantly being abused, and that people in this world are constantly suffering.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus want to go into hiding, and go into worry, about this situation, instead of remaining here as breath, and here as directive principle, and face this point, and move myself within what's here, instead of expecting something bad to happen, or expecting that something bad won't happen.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into fear of losing my "happiness" and fear losing that illusion of safety, which is really just an excuse not to face myself within this point of the representation on t.v of chaos happening. Within this, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see and realize, that chaos is happening all the time, whether or not I see it. Within this, I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand, that Ihave separated myself from everyone in this world, and even myself, that it have been in the illusion that everything is fine, and in the excuse within myself, to not fix this shit, to not fix myself, in order to change this world into a place that doesn't have to have suffering, and doesn't have to have chaos, or children starving, or people being abused, and where situations like this, don't have to happen.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to my father telling me that this was going on, into the point, where I wanted to go into fear, and wanted to go into resistance to facing myself within this point.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thus not see and realize, that this is something that was inevitable, and that it is a vital point to direct, because fact is, that I and the people around me, can die at any moment, and that this is a consequential world we live in. Thus within this, I commit myself, to continue facing this point within this blog, and getting into the deep rooted areas of myself, and fears within myself, In Relationship to this world, and to the destruction in this world, and the abuse and suffering.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to live in a happy little mind bubble, to where I have created this system of bouncing everything in this world off of me, as if it's not there, when not seeing and realizing that it all in fact is absorbed, and is only waiting to be faced, into whether my life is taken, or another's, whether my life is compromised, or another's.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience contentment within myself, not seeing and realizing that this is all limited by my environment, and that at any time, I can be faced with a situation that other people have to suffer and face. Thus within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from other people, as safe, when not seeing and realizing that I have accepted and allowed myself to be deluded by this idea of safety, and be deluded by the idea that I somehow will succeed at the expense of other people.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thus define my environment, and my relationship to my environment, as comfortable, and as something that I want to protect from other people. Thus within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be willing to abuse others, at the expense of my own environment, and to be willing to allow others to suffer, at the expense of my own feeling in my own mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to therefor relate myself to others, in the experience of wanting to defend myself, in the experience of wanting to be in a position of being better than them. Within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to fear that so called happiness to be taken away, and thus within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be willing to allow others to be killed, to allow others to suffer, and to allow this world to go into a point of self destruction.
Self corrective statements will be posted in part 2.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see and realize, and be self honest about, that this is the consequence I've accepted and allowed to occur in this world, and that this is practically a consequence of what the world is leading to, which is self destruction. Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to not see and realize, and understand, that I've accepted and allowed myself to experience emotions, and feelings, that have been within the deep rooted understanding, that people in this world are constantly being abused, and that people in this world are constantly suffering.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus want to go into hiding, and go into worry, about this situation, instead of remaining here as breath, and here as directive principle, and face this point, and move myself within what's here, instead of expecting something bad to happen, or expecting that something bad won't happen.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into fear of losing my "happiness" and fear losing that illusion of safety, which is really just an excuse not to face myself within this point of the representation on t.v of chaos happening. Within this, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see and realize, that chaos is happening all the time, whether or not I see it. Within this, I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand, that Ihave separated myself from everyone in this world, and even myself, that it have been in the illusion that everything is fine, and in the excuse within myself, to not fix this shit, to not fix myself, in order to change this world into a place that doesn't have to have suffering, and doesn't have to have chaos, or children starving, or people being abused, and where situations like this, don't have to happen.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to my father telling me that this was going on, into the point, where I wanted to go into fear, and wanted to go into resistance to facing myself within this point.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thus not see and realize, that this is something that was inevitable, and that it is a vital point to direct, because fact is, that I and the people around me, can die at any moment, and that this is a consequential world we live in. Thus within this, I commit myself, to continue facing this point within this blog, and getting into the deep rooted areas of myself, and fears within myself, In Relationship to this world, and to the destruction in this world, and the abuse and suffering.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to live in a happy little mind bubble, to where I have created this system of bouncing everything in this world off of me, as if it's not there, when not seeing and realizing that it all in fact is absorbed, and is only waiting to be faced, into whether my life is taken, or another's, whether my life is compromised, or another's.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience contentment within myself, not seeing and realizing that this is all limited by my environment, and that at any time, I can be faced with a situation that other people have to suffer and face. Thus within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from other people, as safe, when not seeing and realizing that I have accepted and allowed myself to be deluded by this idea of safety, and be deluded by the idea that I somehow will succeed at the expense of other people.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thus define my environment, and my relationship to my environment, as comfortable, and as something that I want to protect from other people. Thus within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be willing to abuse others, at the expense of my own environment, and to be willing to allow others to suffer, at the expense of my own feeling in my own mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to therefor relate myself to others, in the experience of wanting to defend myself, in the experience of wanting to be in a position of being better than them. Within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to fear that so called happiness to be taken away, and thus within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be willing to allow others to be killed, to allow others to suffer, and to allow this world to go into a point of self destruction.
Self corrective statements will be posted in part 2.
Day 139 - fearing my confidence and experience o myself being taken away
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define my experience of physical confidence, as a point that I need to "protect". Within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself, to judge my physical confidence, as an experience that somehow is able to be "taken away".
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be realistic with myself, within the fact, that experiences and emotions are going to come up, and that it's simply my choice to direct them, and within this, I forgive mysel for accepting and allowing myself to take advantage of my physical confidence, by not usin it as a way to support myself in facing points, and instead of expecting myself to feel a certain way, I rather use directive principles to build REAL physical confidence. Thus I forgive myself for accepting an allowing myself to not allow myself to practice this confidence, throughout each experience I have, while understanding that I still have to focus on what's better than what I feel, and what's better than just a mere experience, which is how I relate to my environment, and how I can continue to face my environment, and pushing myself to take on a new challenge/facing myself, while going about it confidently.
So within this, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see and realize, that physical confidence, is the meaning of what's best for all, so within this, I see that includes myself. So what best supports myself, but also, how can I ACTUALLY live in directive support for my environment.
Within this, when and as I see myself going into a resistance to facing myself in a point, which means - what am I limiting myself within my environment, I stop, I breath, and I bring myself to what's here, and I apply myself to change, to creating a bette version of myself, which within this, incoperates real physical confidence, because physical confidence, is the ability to better support my environment, and to better get myself out of problems, whether it's physical problems, or emotional problems, which in itself relates anyways.
I commit myself to this focus on breathing more, directing myself in better stability, and to within this, giftin Marlo step by step processing, and within this, letting go of points, seeing what's here, and eating through problems, and fears, by remaining stable and considerate as much as possible.
Day 139 - discovering myself and utilizing my understanding in relationship to money, and achieving success
So the point I want to utilize in this blog, is how I can go about spending my money within my current financial situation, while giving myself the ability to work for more money, and within this, setting goals for better financial success, and pacing myself towards that financial position, within the context of being stable enough consistently to handle and face the circumstances when getting to a higher level of financial income.
So what I've discovered within myself, is that my relationship to money, how I spend money, and how I've related this to the people around me, has been way too much of a problem throughout my life, I've always been in the idea that making money was such a struggle. I thought "how do I get to a point of making allot of money?". So, within this, there's a couple of factors that fall into play within this perspective of making money, and it seemed to have been taught to me from the people around me. So let's list some of these points.
1 - I wasn't focused on myself within how I relate myself to my environment, and the people around me. I've always been in this idea that I have to beat the next guy, and win money, become famous, feel good, be better than another. So within this, I was focused on making money, within how I related myself to my environment. So within this, my perspective, and purpose was obviously screwed, because what I was going to do with money, was within the purpose of making it at the expense of another human being, and within this, I was already preprogrammed to fail, to be limited, and to not enjoy myself within my environment as equal to others.
So I've already seen what the root of the problem is within this first point, which is that, I've been preprogrammed to be limited within making money, based off of my preprogrammed design, which is to simply survive, barely get buy, and also, I've always hoped that I would become a millionaire, and hope that I would be the next movie star, or singer, or whatever big position I wanted to place myself in.
So the point to consider within myself, is how does one actually get to the point of achieving success, while still considering the current financial situation, and considering others around me at the same time? Well, it's simple, look at what's here, embrace it, work with it, and then work with that, while having the purpose, and focus of achieving success, and being the best version of myself, that I can possibly be, in order to CREATE success, which within this, one has to follow directive principles - what's best for all.
So the point I'm facing today, is a point I've created within a consequence, which is me wanting to have a gym membership at the YMCA. I noticed that I wasn't able to pay for this months membership, and so I decided to try and go to the gym, to go and see if I could cancel, but still possibly workout. So when I went to the gym, they told me that they would draft out money on the 15th, when I only had $20 on my card. So at this point, I had no other choice but to call my mom and tell her that this would occur. So I talked to her, and she was willing to put some money in my card, and within this, I decided to go and work tomorrow at my labor ready program. Within this, I considered all the possibilities that I could achieve, which was - I could make money at this labor ready program, while supporting myself with disability, and also, I can call my brother up for the test book for the land man position, then I can sign up for GIN.
So then I realized that I had to consider how much money I would be spending on my necessities, wants, and things that require to be there in order for myself to live enjoyably within this. So the points to consider here, are how I can support my mother in paying her back, which would be to work for labor ready, get the money to pay her back, and then within this, test myself to see if I can remain consistent within myself, and committed to making money. Then, once I prove myself within this, I can go get the test book for the landman position, and then sign up for GIN, and start placing myself in those circumstances, in order to have better financial success.
I see within all of this, that I require applying myself to my current circumstances, within assuring that I'm stable, and consistent, so within this, I will be investigating myself in remaining stable, applying principles - what's best for all, but keeping in mind that I have the opportunity right now to achieve great success, within the context of these principles, in order to create a world that is best for all, and to embrace myself within other peoples lives, to always reflect, and to always understand that these points can be applied by anyone, and it just takes seeing what your DESTENI is, your PURPOSE in life is, in order to achieve that success, to achieve that real happiness, and to experience the best version of yourself
So what I've discovered within myself, is that my relationship to money, how I spend money, and how I've related this to the people around me, has been way too much of a problem throughout my life, I've always been in the idea that making money was such a struggle. I thought "how do I get to a point of making allot of money?". So, within this, there's a couple of factors that fall into play within this perspective of making money, and it seemed to have been taught to me from the people around me. So let's list some of these points.
1 - I wasn't focused on myself within how I relate myself to my environment, and the people around me. I've always been in this idea that I have to beat the next guy, and win money, become famous, feel good, be better than another. So within this, I was focused on making money, within how I related myself to my environment. So within this, my perspective, and purpose was obviously screwed, because what I was going to do with money, was within the purpose of making it at the expense of another human being, and within this, I was already preprogrammed to fail, to be limited, and to not enjoy myself within my environment as equal to others.
So I've already seen what the root of the problem is within this first point, which is that, I've been preprogrammed to be limited within making money, based off of my preprogrammed design, which is to simply survive, barely get buy, and also, I've always hoped that I would become a millionaire, and hope that I would be the next movie star, or singer, or whatever big position I wanted to place myself in.
So the point to consider within myself, is how does one actually get to the point of achieving success, while still considering the current financial situation, and considering others around me at the same time? Well, it's simple, look at what's here, embrace it, work with it, and then work with that, while having the purpose, and focus of achieving success, and being the best version of myself, that I can possibly be, in order to CREATE success, which within this, one has to follow directive principles - what's best for all.
So the point I'm facing today, is a point I've created within a consequence, which is me wanting to have a gym membership at the YMCA. I noticed that I wasn't able to pay for this months membership, and so I decided to try and go to the gym, to go and see if I could cancel, but still possibly workout. So when I went to the gym, they told me that they would draft out money on the 15th, when I only had $20 on my card. So at this point, I had no other choice but to call my mom and tell her that this would occur. So I talked to her, and she was willing to put some money in my card, and within this, I decided to go and work tomorrow at my labor ready program. Within this, I considered all the possibilities that I could achieve, which was - I could make money at this labor ready program, while supporting myself with disability, and also, I can call my brother up for the test book for the land man position, then I can sign up for GIN.
So then I realized that I had to consider how much money I would be spending on my necessities, wants, and things that require to be there in order for myself to live enjoyably within this. So the points to consider here, are how I can support my mother in paying her back, which would be to work for labor ready, get the money to pay her back, and then within this, test myself to see if I can remain consistent within myself, and committed to making money. Then, once I prove myself within this, I can go get the test book for the landman position, and then sign up for GIN, and start placing myself in those circumstances, in order to have better financial success.
I see within all of this, that I require applying myself to my current circumstances, within assuring that I'm stable, and consistent, so within this, I will be investigating myself in remaining stable, applying principles - what's best for all, but keeping in mind that I have the opportunity right now to achieve great success, within the context of these principles, in order to create a world that is best for all, and to embrace myself within other peoples lives, to always reflect, and to always understand that these points can be applied by anyone, and it just takes seeing what your DESTENI is, your PURPOSE in life is, in order to achieve that success, to achieve that real happiness, and to experience the best version of yourself
Day 139 - learning to experience myself confidently, while still walking through fears, and suppressions
When and as I see myself experiencing resistance in relationship to K, when greeting myself, and wanting to talk, I stop, I breath, and I walk through those experiences, by understanding that he is there to enjoy, to get to know, and to reflect on within reactions I have within myself.
I see and realize that confidence is a point that needs to be learned, but also applied within myself, through the principles of what is best for what is here, which as explained, what's best for what's here, is what I can do to best support myself, within what I'm doing, and how that relates to my environment, which should be the primary point of what gives myself confidence, and also to place myself in these environments more and more, to better discover myself, within how I can better support myself in being physically confident, so that I'm more prepared to face myself within any environment that comes my way.
I commit myself to practice walking through these experiences of fear, and AT&T he same time, focus on what's here, what's most supportive for what's here, whichw I thin myself, would allow me to be confident within myself. Within this, I commit myself to push through my limits, through my patterns, by applying myself to what's most supportive, and within this, actually in fact letting go of old patterns, by applying myself within my environment FOR REAL.
I commit myself to come to Starbucks everyday, and to see how I experience myself when coming to Starbucks, how it experienced myself before, and to use the principle of equality, which what I laid out as an example for what's here at Starbucks - people talking, me having the opportunity to talk to them as equals, and to see for myself how I can push through fears one by one, and how I can eventually get to the point of learning how I relate to people in public. Within this, I commit myself to take the first step within talking to people, by inviting someone I know to Starbucks, and getting to know them, seeing how I relate to them, and within this, building physical confidence, by applying myself to socializing with other people, and really learning what it means to be equal to others within socializing.
I see and realize within myself, that judging others, and the fear of others judging me, is a point of taking on, through SOCIALIZING. Lol, it's like what the fuck am I going to allow to hold me back, because I never know how I could actually see myself within communicating with others, untill I actually just get out there and do this. Within this, when and as I see myself fearing judgement towards others, and them judging me, I stop, I breath, and I walk through this point, by investigating myself in how I've accepted and allowed myself to judge others, and fear others judging me.
I commit myself to gift myself the discovery of what it means to be confident, what it means to remain for real confident, within the understanding of equality, and self directive principles, which is - supporting myself as life to walk this process, to be the best version of myself I can be, and to live that effectively and with integrity. Within this, I commit myself to walk through this point day by day, and to continue we my commitments as a point to support myself into remaining physically confident, and to do this for physical support in facing myself and this world, and to learn how I effect others, and how I'm effected by others within my environment.
I see and realize that confidence is a point that needs to be learned, but also applied within myself, through the principles of what is best for what is here, which as explained, what's best for what's here, is what I can do to best support myself, within what I'm doing, and how that relates to my environment, which should be the primary point of what gives myself confidence, and also to place myself in these environments more and more, to better discover myself, within how I can better support myself in being physically confident, so that I'm more prepared to face myself within any environment that comes my way.
I commit myself to practice walking through these experiences of fear, and AT&T he same time, focus on what's here, what's most supportive for what's here, whichw I thin myself, would allow me to be confident within myself. Within this, I commit myself to push through my limits, through my patterns, by applying myself to what's most supportive, and within this, actually in fact letting go of old patterns, by applying myself within my environment FOR REAL.
I commit myself to come to Starbucks everyday, and to see how I experience myself when coming to Starbucks, how it experienced myself before, and to use the principle of equality, which what I laid out as an example for what's here at Starbucks - people talking, me having the opportunity to talk to them as equals, and to see for myself how I can push through fears one by one, and how I can eventually get to the point of learning how I relate to people in public. Within this, I commit myself to take the first step within talking to people, by inviting someone I know to Starbucks, and getting to know them, seeing how I relate to them, and within this, building physical confidence, by applying myself to socializing with other people, and really learning what it means to be equal to others within socializing.
I see and realize within myself, that judging others, and the fear of others judging me, is a point of taking on, through SOCIALIZING. Lol, it's like what the fuck am I going to allow to hold me back, because I never know how I could actually see myself within communicating with others, untill I actually just get out there and do this. Within this, when and as I see myself fearing judgement towards others, and them judging me, I stop, I breath, and I walk through this point, by investigating myself in how I've accepted and allowed myself to judge others, and fear others judging me.
I commit myself to gift myself the discovery of what it means to be confident, what it means to remain for real confident, within the understanding of equality, and self directive principles, which is - supporting myself as life to walk this process, to be the best version of myself I can be, and to live that effectively and with integrity. Within this, I commit myself to walk through this point day by day, and to continue we my commitments as a point to support myself into remaining physically confident, and to do this for physical support in facing myself and this world, and to learn how I effect others, and how I'm effected by others within my environment.
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