Friday, November 13, 2015

Day 139 - learning to apply writing structurally within me seeing my guitar - practicing self forgiveness and self corrective statements

I forgive myself for wanting to play guitar within the thought that it will be fun, and that I can escape reality. Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to escape reality, because I want to feel better about myself. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want to feel better about myself, because reality is something I've always hidden from.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide from reality, because I feel vulnerable to reality, and feel like the world will never change. Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel like the world will never change, because I've been in a belief system of experiencing myself within surviving in this world. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I need to survive in this world, because I fear changing myself within this world, in order to change this world in a place that I would want for myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get a physical feeling of euphoria when I see my guitar, within this, I forgive myself for getting a shockwave through my chest when I see my guitar. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get a shockwave through my chest, because I want to escape reality, and that I've programmed myself to look at the guitar every time I come in my room, so that I can escape self responsibility, from facing myself.

When and as I want to play my guitar to escape my reality, I stop, and breath, and I do something more supportive, and within this, I inhibit the act of playing guitar to escape my reality.

When and as I see myself wanting to feel better about myself in order to escape reality, I stop, I breath, and I forgive the point that I want to feel better about within myself.

When and as I see myself wanting to feel better about myself, due to reality being something I've always hidden from, I instead write out one point in my reality that I've always hidden from, and I apply myself to face that point. For example - facing "existing as sharing, out of wanting others to like me/it" within this, I commit myself to do something more supportive than playing guitar when I want to escape reality, and to move myself to support myself, into facing myself in this one point of "existing as sharing, out of wanting others to like me/it".

When and as I see myself feeling like the world will never change, out of me feeling vulnerable to the world, and out of therefor wanting to hide, I stop, I breath, and I instead stick with breathing, focusing, and applying self directive principle to what's here.

I see and realize, that I have been limited within the belief, that I have to survive within this world, in order to experience myself within good feelings. Within this, I commit myself, to redefine one good feeling that I experience, throughout my day.

I commit myself to face myself within as many moments as possible, within the construct of self forgiveness, and self corrective statements, with breathing, with focusing, and with questioning, releasing, and solving.

When and as I see myself experiencing euphoria when I see my guitar, I stop, I breath, and I instead of looking at my guitar when coming in my room one day, I look at my bed, and then the next day, look at my guitar. Within this, inhibiting the reaction to looking at my guitar when coming in my room.

When and as I see myself getting a shock wage through my chest when seeing my guitar, I stop, I breath, and I instead focus on my breath, and focus on what I am doing HERE, and thus creating a more supportive intent.

I commit myself to not look at the guitar when coming in my room every other day, within the understanding, that this will allow myself to better understand what I'm facing, and better understand, what I do to prevent self responsibility, and prevent facing myself.

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