Day 139 - learning to apply writing structurally within me seeing my guitar - practicing self forgiveness and self corrective statements

I forgive myself for wanting to play guitar within the thought that it will be fun, and that I can escape reality. Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to escape reality, because I want to feel better about myself. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want to feel better about myself, because reality is something I've always hidden from.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide from reality, because I feel vulnerable to reality, and feel like the world will never change. Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel like the world will never change, because I've been in a belief system of experiencing myself within surviving in this world. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I need to survive in this world, because I fear changing myself within this world, in order to change this world in a place that I would want for myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get a physical feeling of euphoria when I see my guitar, within this, I forgive myself for getting a shockwave through my chest when I see my guitar. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get a shockwave through my chest, because I want to escape reality, and that I've programmed myself to look at the guitar every time I come in my room, so that I can escape self responsibility, from facing myself.

When and as I want to play my guitar to escape my reality, I stop, and breath, and I do something more supportive, and within this, I inhibit the act of playing guitar to escape my reality.

When and as I see myself wanting to feel better about myself in order to escape reality, I stop, I breath, and I forgive the point that I want to feel better about within myself.

When and as I see myself wanting to feel better about myself, due to reality being something I've always hidden from, I instead write out one point in my reality that I've always hidden from, and I apply myself to face that point. For example - facing "existing as sharing, out of wanting others to like me/it" within this, I commit myself to do something more supportive than playing guitar when I want to escape reality, and to move myself to support myself, into facing myself in this one point of "existing as sharing, out of wanting others to like me/it".

When and as I see myself feeling like the world will never change, out of me feeling vulnerable to the world, and out of therefor wanting to hide, I stop, I breath, and I instead stick with breathing, focusing, and applying self directive principle to what's here.

I see and realize, that I have been limited within the belief, that I have to survive within this world, in order to experience myself within good feelings. Within this, I commit myself, to redefine one good feeling that I experience, throughout my day.

I commit myself to face myself within as many moments as possible, within the construct of self forgiveness, and self corrective statements, with breathing, with focusing, and with questioning, releasing, and solving.

When and as I see myself experiencing euphoria when I see my guitar, I stop, I breath, and I instead of looking at my guitar when coming in my room one day, I look at my bed, and then the next day, look at my guitar. Within this, inhibiting the reaction to looking at my guitar when coming in my room.

When and as I see myself getting a shock wage through my chest when seeing my guitar, I stop, I breath, and I instead focus on my breath, and focus on what I am doing HERE, and thus creating a more supportive intent.

I commit myself to not look at the guitar when coming in my room every other day, within the understanding, that this will allow myself to better understand what I'm facing, and better understand, what I do to prevent self responsibility, and prevent facing myself.

Day 139 - existing within sharing, out of wanting others to like me/it

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within and as the point of wanting to share videos, posts, comments, replies, out of the desire for likes, and out of the desire for others to think I'm a good person. Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress myself from expressing myself within self responsibility of sharing myself for others to see, as only wanting to share out of others to think I'm a good person.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to share myself with others, within the hope that I will receive a like, within the hope that I will receive multiple likes, thus within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to share myself within self interest of wanting others to see what I'm doing in hopes that they think there's nothing wrong with me, and within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to limit myself within sharing, within the fear that there's something wrong with me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thus feel motivated when seeing likes and comments of "positivity" on my posts  and on my shares. Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide myself I a. Little bubble of happiness within what I share on Facebook or to others, out of the fear that I will actually have to face myself within my reality, and within my environment, and within relationship to other people. Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress fears, and to suppress my relationship to myself, and to other people through wanting to share in hopes of getting likes.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thus judge myself within what I'm doing, and then instead of facing myself within that point for myself, I rather go into a point of thinking others will see it and like it, and think that I'm a good person.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thus not gift myself the ability to face myself, gift myself the ability to do better, and to gift myself the ability to work with myself, and work within releasing points, and actually being able to do this in living principled application. Within this, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself, to be committed to living for what's best for all, and being committed to live this first, before sharing it. Within this, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself, to share myself on Facebook, within the understanding of these principles.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thus hide from my circumstances, through sharing posts. Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to share posts on Facebook within the intent of projecting myself onto other people, as if they are like me, and will accept me for "who I am", without considering the consequence of this, within - showing people what I'm doing, and then not actually living, within the participation within energy towards this point.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thus not share within the principle of what's best to share, but instead sharing what I want to share, instead of sharing what I need to share. Within this, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself, to limit myself physically within sharing, in terms of scheduling my vlogs, and scheduling my shares on Facebook, and within this, investigating the reactions to when I want to share, and thus changing this point of self interest within sharing, into creating a point of learning what sharing really means, and what sharing consists of.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thus not see and realize, that sharing is for supporting others, in seeing that I am consistent, in seeing that I am supporting self, and seeing that I am living principles. Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to have created the illusion of living principles, through depending on other people emotionally.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thus apply my emotional dependency towards other people, towards desteni, towards more personal relationship, onto sharing, and onto applying myself to responsibilities.

Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to build confidence, through depending on others emotionally, instead of applying what I learn from them, into my life, and into myself, into what I know I can become, and know I need to become, in order to change this world. Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to relate wanting to change, to self interest, instead of relating wanting to change, for a real purpose, which is, to change this world, which start with facing myself in this world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thus not face myself fully, and applying self responsibility fully, to the point where I in fact change myself, and face myself. Within this, I see and realize, that I must face my reality, that I must face emotions, and face circumstances, and place myself in a more supportive position, out of the understanding, that I will be facing myself in these circumstances, and to understand that I must learn what it truly means to live change, and to live self responsibly.

Within this, I commit myself to apply change, in each and every way possible, by applying principles, and common sense, and a schedule for myself, and responsibility for myself, to face myself in what I've accepted and allowed myself to limit myself with, and to limit myself from changing, and facing myself in fears, and in emotions, and to face myself in relationship to this world.

Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to only want what's runs, only want what's easy, instead of really standing, and actually applying change to myself, applying oppurtunity to myself, which is the real change, that will ripple through the tools I use, through the things I do, and will show what I really can become, and show my true strength. Within this, I commit myself to focus myself on things that will actually support me within my days of living, and to actually learn how to apply living in this world.

So within this, I see that I want to experience my free time, which I scheduled, but instead, I could find better things to do, and better things that can support myself before going to bed.

Watching desteni videos.
Reading others blogs.
Listening to what my buddy suggested me listen to - your wish is your command.

Within this, I see and realize, that this shows that I have the opportunity to be the best version of myself, through applying myself within self responsibility, and letting go of old perspectives, and limited thinking, but to instead always challenge myself, and to always live within doing what's best.

Day 139 - reacting in fear to the bombing situations and terrorist attacks part 2

When and as I see myself going into fear of my life being taken away, within this situation with Paris/terrorist attacks, within the context of my accepted and allowed emotions, related to situations like this, and related to the understanding that my life could be taken away and abused like others, I stop, I breath, and I walk through the point, and work with what's here, see that my environment here, is what can be used, to reflect on, and to relate that understanding that it can all be taken away, into a change within myself, to a change within my understanding of myself, which is, that I am equal to the abuse in this, world, that I am equal to the suffering in this world, and that the only way this shit is going to get fixed, is the will and purpose of changing myself.

I see and realize that these fears of something bad happening, or not happening, is the representation, that I am deluded, that I am an abuser, and that I have effected and rippled abuse within this world, and that I have been a stern participator as an abuser, and as a user of the system. Within this, I see and realize, that I must change myself, and allow myself, and push myself to face the suffering of this world, through changing myself, and changing who I've accepted and allowed myself to pretend to be, to pretend that I am happy, to pretend that I am a good person. Within this, I see and realize that I have always acted in pretending way, and have always pretended that I don't abuse, and don't contribute to the abuse.

I see and realize that I can reflect, and change myself within things that I see are not completely supportive for myself, that I can change the suppression systems, to what I've used as a coping mechanism to my emotions, and thus within this, I commit myself to process these things I'm realizing within myself, and to change them, and to work on facing change within these points, and to face the delusion, and the illusion, that I'm somehow a good person, and that I'm somehow safe within this accepted and allowed embodiment of abuse.

I commit myself to face myself within my emotions, within my fears, within my limitations, and within my accepted and allowed beliefs, and perspectives, and opinions, in order to eventually get to a point where I can face myself within what I've accepted and allowed to exist as ego, to exist as not facing myself as ego, and to not be willing to just give up the ego, and to just face myself, and to just see myself within who the fuck I really am.

I see and realize, that I have suppressed points of fear, and have suppressed points of not taking self responsibility. Thus within this, I see and realize that I, being in the feeling of contentment, is only going to last for so long, and is only going to be thought of being real for so long, and so within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist in and as the point of ego, to exist within and as the point of delusion, and as the point of limitation, and as the point of being an abuser, and a user. Within this I commit myself to face myself in relationship to how I've used, how I've abused,

I commit myself to push myself to face as much as I can, throughout each and every day, and to reflect on how I experience myself towards others, and to face myself within self responsibility, and how I've accepted and allowed myself to limit myself within my own environment, and to make excuses to not face myself within my environment, and within this world that I've accepted and allowed to relate and exist within and as abusive.

Day 139 - reacting in fear to the bombing situations and terrorist attacks

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to react in fear of the terrorist attacks around the globe, within the fear that something is going to happen here in my city, to fear that martial law will happen, and my life will be taken, and my "freedom" will be taken.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see and realize, and be self honest about, that this is the consequence I've accepted and allowed to occur in this world, and that this is practically a consequence of what the world is leading to, which is self destruction. Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to not see and realize, and understand, that I've accepted and allowed myself to experience emotions, and feelings, that have been within the deep rooted understanding, that people in this world are constantly being abused, and that people in this world are constantly suffering.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus want to go into hiding, and go into worry, about this situation, instead of remaining here as breath, and here as directive principle, and face this point, and move myself within what's here, instead of expecting something bad to happen, or expecting that something bad won't happen.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into fear of losing my "happiness" and fear losing that illusion of safety, which is really just an excuse not to face myself within this point of the representation on t.v of chaos happening. Within this, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see and realize, that chaos is happening all the time, whether or not I see it. Within this, I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand, that Ihave separated  myself from everyone in this world, and even myself, that it have been in the illusion that everything is fine, and in the excuse within myself, to not fix this shit, to not fix myself, in order to change this world into a place that doesn't have to have suffering, and doesn't have to have chaos, or children starving, or people being abused, and where situations like this, don't have to happen.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to my father telling me that this was going on, into the point, where I wanted to go into fear, and wanted to go into resistance to facing myself within this point.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thus not see and realize, that this is something that was inevitable, and that it is a vital point to direct, because fact is, that I and the people around me, can die at any moment, and that this is a consequential world we live in. Thus within this, I commit myself, to continue facing this point within this blog, and getting into the deep rooted areas of myself, and fears within myself, In Relationship to this world, and to the destruction in this world, and the abuse and suffering.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to live in a happy little mind bubble, to where I have created this system of bouncing everything in this world off of me, as if it's not there, when not seeing and realizing that it all in fact is absorbed, and is only waiting to be faced, into whether my life is taken, or another's, whether my life is compromised, or another's.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience contentment within myself, not seeing and realizing that this is all limited by my environment, and that at any time, I can be faced with a situation that other people have to suffer and face. Thus within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from other people, as safe, when not seeing and realizing that I have accepted and allowed myself to be deluded by this idea of safety, and be deluded by the idea that I somehow will succeed at the expense of other people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thus define my environment, and my relationship to my environment, as comfortable, and as something that I want to protect from other people. Thus within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be willing to abuse others, at the expense of my own environment, and to be willing to allow others to suffer, at the expense of my own feeling in my own mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to therefor relate myself to others, in the experience of wanting to defend myself, in the experience of wanting to be in a position of being better than them. Within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to fear that so called happiness to be taken away, and thus within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be willing to allow others to be killed, to allow others to suffer, and to allow this world to go into a point of self destruction.

Self corrective statements will be posted in part 2.

Day 139 - fearing my confidence and experience o myself being taken away

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define my experience of physical confidence, as a point that I need to "protect". Within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself, to judge my physical confidence, as an experience that somehow is able to be "taken away". 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be realistic with myself, within the fact, that experiences and emotions are going to come up, and that it's simply my choice to direct them, and within this, I forgive mysel for accepting and allowing myself to take advantage of my physical confidence, by not usin it as a way to support myself in facing points, and instead of expecting myself to feel a certain way, I rather use directive principles to build REAL physical confidence. Thus I forgive myself for accepting an allowing myself to not allow myself to practice this confidence, throughout each experience I have, while understanding that I still have to focus on what's better than what I feel, and what's better than just a mere experience, which is how I relate to my environment, and how I can continue to face my environment, and pushing myself to take on a new challenge/facing myself, while going about it confidently.

So within this, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see and realize, that physical confidence, is the meaning of what's best for all, so within this, I see that includes myself. So what best supports myself, but also, how can I ACTUALLY live in directive support for my environment. 

Within this, when and as I see myself going into a resistance to facing myself in a point, which means - what am I limiting myself within my environment, I stop, I breath, and I bring myself to what's here, and I apply myself to change, to creating a bette version of myself, which within this, incoperates real physical confidence, because physical confidence, is the ability to better support my environment, and to better get myself out of problems, whether it's physical problems, or emotional problems, which in itself relates anyways.

I commit myself to this focus on breathing more, directing myself in better stability, and to within this, giftin Marlo step by step processing, and within this, letting go of points, seeing what's here, and eating through problems, and fears, by remaining stable and considerate as much as possible.

Day 139 - discovering myself and utilizing my understanding in relationship to money, and achieving success

So the point I want to utilize in this blog, is how I can go about spending my money within my current financial situation, while giving myself the ability to work for more money, and within this, setting goals for better financial success, and pacing myself towards that financial position, within the context of being stable enough consistently to handle and face the circumstances when getting to a higher level of financial income.

So what I've discovered within myself, is that my relationship to money, how I spend money, and how I've related this to the people around me, has been way too much of a problem throughout my life, I've always been in the idea that making money was such a struggle. I thought "how do I get to a point of making allot of money?". So, within this, there's a couple of factors that fall into play within this perspective of making money, and it seemed to have been taught to me from the people around me. So let's list some of these points.

1 - I wasn't focused on myself within how I relate myself to my environment, and the people around me. I've always been in this idea that I have to beat the next guy, and win money, become famous, feel good, be better than another. So within this, I was focused on making money, within how I related myself to my environment. So within this, my perspective, and purpose was obviously screwed, because what I was going to do with money, was within the purpose of making it at the expense of another human being, and within this, I was already preprogrammed to fail, to be limited, and to not enjoy myself within my environment as equal to others.

So I've already seen what the root of the problem is within this first point, which is that, I've been preprogrammed to be limited within making money, based off of my preprogrammed design, which is to simply survive, barely get buy, and also, I've always hoped that I would become a millionaire, and hope that I would be the next movie star, or singer, or whatever big position I wanted to place myself in.

So the point to consider within myself, is how does one actually get to the point of achieving success, while still considering the current financial situation, and considering others around me at the same time? Well, it's simple, look at what's here, embrace it, work with it, and then work with that, while having the purpose, and focus of achieving success, and being the best version of myself, that I can possibly be, in order to CREATE success, which within this, one has to follow directive principles - what's best for all.

So the point I'm facing today, is a point I've created within a consequence, which is me wanting to have a gym membership at the YMCA. I noticed that I wasn't able to pay for this months membership, and so I decided to try and go to the gym, to go and see if I could cancel, but still possibly workout. So when I went to the gym, they told me that they would draft out money on the 15th, when I only had $20 on my card. So at this point, I had no other choice but to call my mom and tell her that this would occur. So I talked to her, and she was willing to put some money in my card, and within this, I decided to go and work tomorrow at my labor ready program. Within this, I considered all the possibilities that I could achieve, which was - I could make money at this labor ready program, while supporting myself with disability, and also, I can call my brother up for the test book for the land man position, then I can sign up for GIN.

So then I realized that I had to consider how much money I would be spending on my necessities, wants, and things that require to be there in order for myself to live enjoyably within this. So the points to consider here, are how I can support my mother in paying her back, which would be to work for labor ready, get the money to pay her back, and then within this, test myself to see if I can remain consistent within myself, and committed to making money. Then, once I prove myself within this, I can go get the test book for the landman position, and then sign up for GIN, and start placing myself in those circumstances, in order to have better financial success.

I see within all of this, that I require applying myself to my current circumstances, within assuring that I'm stable, and consistent, so within this, I will be investigating myself in remaining stable, applying principles - what's best for all, but keeping in mind that I have the opportunity right now to achieve great success, within the context of these principles, in order to create a world that is best for all, and to embrace myself within other peoples lives, to always reflect, and to always understand that these points can be applied by anyone, and it just takes seeing what your DESTENI is, your PURPOSE in life is, in order to achieve that success, to achieve that real happiness, and to experience  the best version of yourself

Day 139 - learning to experience myself confidently, while still walking through fears, and suppressions

When and as I see myself experiencing resistance in relationship to K, when greeting myself, and wanting to talk, I stop, I breath, and I walk through those experiences, by understanding that he is there to enjoy, to get to know, and to reflect on within reactions I have within myself.

I see and realize that confidence is a point that needs to be learned, but also applied within myself, through the principles of what is best for what is here, which as explained, what's best for what's here, is what I can do to best support myself, within what I'm doing, and how that relates to my environment, which should be the primary point of what gives myself confidence, and also to place myself in these environments more and more, to better discover myself, within how I can better support myself in being physically confident, so that I'm more prepared to face myself within any environment that comes my way.

I commit myself to practice walking through these experiences of fear, and AT&T he same time, focus on what's here, what's most supportive for what's here, whichw I thin myself, would allow me to be confident within myself. Within this, I commit myself to push through my limits, through my patterns, by applying myself to what's most supportive, and within this, actually in fact letting go of old patterns, by applying myself within my environment FOR REAL.

I commit myself to come to Starbucks everyday, and to see how I experience myself when coming to Starbucks, how it experienced myself before, and to use the principle of equality, which what I laid out as an example for what's here at Starbucks - people talking, me having the opportunity to talk to them as equals, and to see for myself how I can push through fears one by one, and how I can eventually get to the point of learning how I relate to people in public. Within this, I commit myself to take the first step within talking to people, by inviting someone I know to Starbucks, and getting to know them, seeing how I relate to them, and within this, building physical confidence, by applying myself to socializing with other people, and really learning what it means to be equal to others within socializing.

I see and realize within myself, that judging others, and the fear of others judging me, is a point of taking on, through SOCIALIZING. Lol, it's like what the fuck am I going to allow to hold me back, because I never know how I could actually see myself within communicating with others, untill I actually just get out there and do this. Within this, when and as I see myself fearing judgement towards others, and them judging me, I stop, I breath, and I walk through this point, by investigating myself in how I've accepted and allowed myself to judge others, and fear others judging me.

I commit myself to gift myself the discovery of what it means to be confident, what it means to remain for real confident, within the understanding of equality, and self directive principles, which is - supporting myself as life to walk this process, to be the best version of myself I can be, and to live that effectively and with integrity. Within this, I commit myself to walk through this point day by day, and to continue we my commitments as a point to support myself into remaining physically confident, and to do this for physical support in facing myself and this world, and to learn how I effect others, and how I'm effected by others within my environment.

Day 139 - learning to experience myself confidently, while still walking through fears, and suppressions

So today I am learning to experience confidence, what it means to be confident, and what it means to face myself within the midst of being consistent within experiencing confidence. Within this, I am going to walk through what I'm experiencing here at Starbucks.

I met a cool guy here at Starbucks, and we know eachother through a past girl I used to mess around with, so within this I'm experiencing resistance to communicate, and also resistance to face the experiences within other people talking, and how i relate to those people, and how I relate to the people around me, in terms of seeing where I've limited myself within being able to experience myself confidently.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience fear within myself, towards K, in and as the fear that he will judge me for writting. Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to judge myself within how I experience myself confidently, in relationship to K.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to therefor seperate myself in relationship to K, and to fear experiencing myself confidently, as equal to him, and to be able to express myself how I intended on expressing myself, which was to say hi to him, be grateful for his presence, and then to write my blog.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto the point of confidence, as a relationship to positivity. Thus within this, I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself, to see and realize, that confidence isn't something so called "positive" but that it's the most supportive way to experience myself, and to share that with others. Thus within this, if or give myself for accepting and allowing myself to, instead of facing myself when I see myself facing reactions, and to rather use confidence in myself to support that point, I allow myself to relate suppression systems to try to hold onto confidence within and as a point of self interest.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to therefor try to remain confident, within the point of trying to hold onto suppression systems, instead of knowing, and actually being confident, like a physical confidence, that I can face myself, that is can continue being confident, and AT&T he same time walk through these experiences. So within this, I see and realize that confidence takes practice, within allowing myself to walk through experiences, and not judge myself within those experiences, but to rather gift myself confidence, within the understanding of why it requires being confident to face myself within fears, within reactions, within points that usually have caused myself to fall in the past.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to depend on my environment to be confident, instead of using what's most supportive in my environment to gift myself confidence, and to gift myself the ability to face myself within fears, and within reactions. So for example, what's most supportive in Starbucks, where I'm at now - people are talking, so this means people are socializing, which is somethi that shows me, that there are people equal to me here in my environment, that I could meet, that I could get to know. So what's the poi that I fear within this - I fear that it's "awkward" to just talk to people, to interact with people. Because in the system we've been taught to isolate ourselves within our own minds, what we feel, how we feel towards others, how we perceive and judge others, that this should somehow dictate all of us to be "kept to ourselves". So this is something to face within this blog.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear talking to other people. Within this fearing that this should dictate and limit myself from being physically confident, physically focused, and should somehow be a reason for me to not express myself within interaction, which within itself should be a responsibility for me to take on, because talking to people, is supportive, talking to people, is a way to have the oppurtunity of lifting people up. Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself within talking to people out of fear of judging them, fear of them judging me, and thus within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I and other people, are supposed to judge eachother.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thin that I'm better than others, that somehow my confidence is something that should be represented to them, as something they can't be. Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to thus not simply be confident, for myself, as a point to gift myself, to practically live, and not expect others to pick up on it, but to simply remain physically confident, and learn how to remain confident, as a point of being able to support myself around others, which will inevitably ripple, and allow my environment to potentially be supportive within what I'm living as.

Self corrective statements will be placed in part 2.

Day 138 - resistance and resentment towards my father part 2 Self corrective statements

When and as I see myself going into anger and resentment towards my father, and into suppressive mechanisms, to where I want to just hide, or pretend like it's not there, I stop, I breath, and I direct the point through applying one replacement point each week, to where I replace the suppression point, into a directive, and applicable point. Within this, I commit myself to replace the suppressive point from the point of fear of "he is coming in my room to yell at me or attack me emotionally in some way", to applying this self forgiveness statement, which I will write down in my notes on my phone - "I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear my dad coming to yell at me or attack me emotionally when I hear him potentially coming to my bedroom, to the point that I get a shockwave in my chest, and tense up, and want to yell and attack him back from what I reacted in fear of him attacking me".

I commit myself to apply this self forgiveness statement each time my father comes back to my room, or I hear him coming back to my room.

I commit myself to unlock one point each day, as to how I try to please other people, in relationship to the fear that something is wrong with me, and to always investigate how this relates to me resenting my father, and becoming angry every time I have the experience of trying to please other people out of thinking negatively about myself. Within this, I see and realize that this will allow myself to discover who I truly am as self expression, in talking to others, in talking to my father, and in sharing with others, and being able to experience and be confident within myself without depending on the reassurance of other people.

When and as I see myself limiting myself, in blaming my father, or father figures for how I experience myself, and what I've accepted and allowed myself to become, is top, and I breath, and I instead, direct that emotion, through applying self responsibility to change myself, and to learning how to enjoy that point, without limiting myself under the relationship I've created to blaming my father within my experience of anger and resentment.

I commit myself to practice facing this point, and to take self responsibility in remaining stable and focused, within the understanding, that is can't face the entire embodiment of this point, but can rather create a system of direction within myself, through applying step by step tools, to face this point of anger and resentment, and hiding from it, in relationship to my father, and father figures. Thus within this, when and as I see myself becoming overwhelmed, while participating in self responsibilities, and being around other people, I stop, I breath, and I direct myself with finding a moment to forgive myself for the experience, until it's released, and within this, applying this as much as possible, until I can direct myself within my responsibilities more consistently and effectively.

I commit myself to direct myself in stability towards male figures in my life, and to slowly investigate my relationship with them, and to apply practical, and commonsensical respect, and application to communicating with them, in order to prevent abusive communication, and to build a supportive relationship with male figures.

I commit myself to breath, and remain here, and take self responsibility, without excuses, and without fears to define who I am.

I commit myself to discover myself in relationship to my father, and make figures, within this pattern of "hope,then relationship, then resentment" and to log this point in my notes.

I commit myself to apply myself to one point per week, of where I have defined my relationship to process, people, and myself, support systems, etc. as stable, that is really just an emotional attachment to suppressing a fear. Within this, I commit myself to open up the fear of "wanting people to like my shares and posts on Facebook", and to apply self forgiveness and self corrective statements to this fear, and how I've limited myself to be consistent within this world, and within myself. I will write this in my notes.

Day 138 - resistance and resentment towards my father

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience resistance when around my father, to where when I am around him, I want to just hide from him, and just put on a happy face and limit myself from being able to express myself openly with my father.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience anger and resentment towards my father, to where when I hear him coming in my room, or when I enter the house, I have this tendency to prepare myself in a suppressive state of appearance, to where I suppress the anger, and I suppress what I experience within myself towards him, to the point that I try to do everything I can to hold back from just being nasty to him, and to hold back from just yelling at him, or retaliating against him.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist my father due to the anger that I have built up within myself, to where I go into backchat of positivity, to where "I'm better than him and everyone else, and it can do anything and he can't stop me because he's always been destructive, and been mean and nasty to me". Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself, based off of suppressing this anger and resentment relationship towards my father.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to please my father, and other people in my environment, within the idea that something is wrong with me, that is my fathers fault for feeling that something is wrong with me. Thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold anger and resentment towards my father, out of seeing that I've accepted and allowed myself to limit my expression, and that this is somehow my fathers fault, for having been raised by him, and for having experienced myself negatively around him.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe, that I have to live limited, under the resentment and anger that I've experienced towards my father, due to the fact that I've always accepted and allowed this point of resentment and anger to exist within myself, and shape myself, and make me who I've become. Within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame my father, and become absolutely angry with my father, because I've seen and realized that I've become somebody who's limited, in constant fear, in constant denial, in constant suppression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to hide and run away from this point, out of wanting to deny the experiences I've accepted and allowed within myself, and that I want to just hide and suppress all of this, because I've been so used to running away, and not facing it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to depend on male figures, to be there for me, where I want them to be apart of my life, and want myself to be apart of there's, but that when it comes down to a consistent relationship, and a consistent point of support, I fail, because I've related male figures as someone I have high hopes for to be there for me, but then when it comes to being in relationship to them, I simply resent them, and end up abusing them, and not having a healthy relationship with them.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not slow down, and breath, and apply what is here, as a point of reference to slow myself down, and self direct what the problem is.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to expect my experiences, and relationships, to be based off of the foundation that I've related towards my father, which is hope, followed by relationship, then followed by resentment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to give up, in fear that I can't face this point within myself, in fear that I will lose everyone, and fear that I will lose my support system, and family, and destenis support. Within this, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see and realize, that I have related my consistency to process, and to my relationships, as a definition of emotional attachment, and emotional dependcy, to remain stable, and to remain in the point of feeling stable, when not seeing and realizing, that this has all been a self deceptive mechanism to remain stable in my old approach to relationships. Within this, I commit myself to let go of this point, to look at what's here, and apply myself within self directive principles, and breathing.

SCS will follow in part 2.

Day 138 - standing in line, fearing reaction, and testing patients

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to a lengthy line at the pharmacy, as negative.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to assume that others are experiencing themselves in a negative way because the line is long. Thus within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project my negativity towards others, within what I was already experiencing within myself - worthless, incompetent, judge mental, a bad person.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel uncofident about my process, and thus myself, and then fear being in a line at the pharmacy.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow the sounds, an images of other people, Limit myself from being able to stand in line at the pharmacy, in a confident maner.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel in a rush, when going in line at the pharmacy, with the dea that how I'm feeling, dictates my experience while standing in line at the pharmacy.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to isolate myself from other people, and have this narsasistic experience within myself towards other people, when I walk into the store to go get in line at the pharmacy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to thus isolate my experience of myself, where I want to experience positivity, and thus within this, create fear of others being negative, to where I isolate myself within myself, and separate myself from others, when going to stand in line at the pharmacy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowin myself, to therefor relate these experiences, to a lengthy line with people, to where I limit myself from enjoying standing in line at the pharmacy, and enjoy the environment, and get to reflect myself from my environment effectively, and from the people around me.

When and as I see myself, isolating myself from the environment, to suppress my experiences and emotions, I stop, and breath, and I find a moment for myself to speak self forgiveness. Within this, I also commit myself to focus on my physical movement, and to let go of focusin my attention towards others, an then from this point, relate my physical existence an movement, to others around me.

When an as I see myself thinking that others are negative, or that they intend on taking away my "positive" experience, I stop, I breath, and I direct myself through focusing on what I'm doing, to what my responsibility is, and how I can support myself in the task at hand.

I commit myself to write on how I can communicate with others in a supportive way, regardless of what I'm experiencing, an investigating in depth in how I relate mysel to others, while in negative experiences, as well as positive experiences.

 

Day 138 - Dealing with anger, and resistance to change, while out and about

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel angry, and resist directing my emotions, an my realizations, while out and about.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to become angry when I see something in facing, and so within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to suppress facing myself throughout my day, instead of practically directing myself beforehand, and living that consistent directive principle.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to depend on other people, as a positive energy point, of wanting others to be nice to me, instead of reflecting and seeing that I am the only one to face myself within these emotions.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize, that directing these points of anger and resistance, will take time, and consistency, building, and applying tools and creating myself, to the point where I can be more effective in managing anger and resistance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to depend on my process emotionally, as a want for success, instead of practically using my ability to apply myself, through what's here, and what I require taking self responsibility for.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to therefor fear failure, when not seeing and realizing, that I can always apply breathing, focusing, and reflecting, within my best ability, and that I can always bring myself back to directing my feelings of anger, and what interconnects with that anger.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing mysel to create anger while taking self responsibility, within the idea that I am inevitably going to abdicate self responsibility. This within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself., to have created and existence within myself, as abdicating self responsibility, self awareness, and self direction, and self management to my experience with anger.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself, to depend on others, as a emotional suppression system to not face myself, and to not work with these points of anger, which within this, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see and realize, that this will and is the cause of resistance to facing myself in and as the experience of anger.

When and as I see mself resisting, I stop, I breath, and I focus on reflection to what I'm feeling, and I focus on breathing, and I do not judge myself within what I'm feeling or expressing, but direct it as much as possible, in order to manage my anger.

Day 137 - resentment and anger

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have resentment and anger, and to have defined myself as resentment and anger.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to become resentful towards F when I feel he has the intention of keeping me trapped within my emotions, when not seeing and realizing, that I have all control over my emotions, and that he is simply a point that I've kept within my mind, to where I have built up anger towards him, and resentment.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to experience anger and resentment while writing this, instead of breathing and applying self forgiveness, as a practical release.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to verify this emotion of resentment and anger, to where I have embodied it within myself, to where I have made it out to be difficult, because I've simply accumulated it within myself.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to feel anger and resentment towards f,when he comes off to me as blaming me within my perception, or trying to place myself as inferior to him when doing something.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have anger and resentment towards F, for when I was a child, he would tell me I did something wrong with a mannerism and voice that came off as negative, to where when I hear him say something that I perceive as that negative experience, I go into reaction, of wanting to retaliate in my mind, or blame him for what I'm experiencing within myself.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to go into denial of this point, through positivity, or to where I want to focus my attention towards other things, such as other people, or wanting to eat, or wanting to play music to suppress the fear and the emotion within myself.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to blame F for my experience of resentment and anger, for growing up with him durring my life, and being at a point of unconfident within myself  to where when I see that I'm starting to feel confident, I gradually start to experience an unconfident point within myself, to where I relate back to what F had told me.

Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to experience anger and resentment towards F, when I remember the times he told me that "you aren't doing it right, you're stupid" or where he showed aggression, and I picked it up as negative.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to try and analyze my mind, without actually directing it physically, and not learning how to direct this anger and resentment towards F, and to simply let it go through self forgiveness.

When and as I see myself experiencing resentment and anger towards F, I stop and breath, and I direct myself to understanding that these emotions are from one point in my memory, that I require deconstructing, and figuring out what the reasoning is for that particular point of resentment and anger.

When and as I see myself activating resentment and the want to retaliate towards F, I stop, I breath, and I let go of the blame, I let go of the emotions, through applying to what's here, and to focus on the point in a reflecting manner, to where I can release this point of anger and resentment towards F.

I commit myself to apply myself to breathing, and focusing on what I'm doing around my responsibilities, and to let this point go.

Day 137 - fear being alone within my fears

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear being alone within my fears.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear experiencing turmoil within myself, and then not being able to direct that inner turmoil.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be defined by inner turmoil, and fear, to where I expect myself to be comforted by other people.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have anger and resentment within myself, to where I've covered it up for so long, to the point that I've created a consequence of facing inner turmoil as resentment and anger, and allowing that turmoil to dictate how I experience myself.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge myself within the consequence of my thoughts.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to escelate the thoughts and emotions through blaming my environment, and blaming where I'm at, and how I feel around that environment.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to hold back from self forgiveness, because I've always expected myself to suppress these emotional experiences, through the very pattern of wanting to be safe around others/use others as an energetic source, to not face myself here, and see the problem for myself.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge myself within having had suppressive feelings and actions within myself, to where I have accepted and allowed myself to create the experience of resentment and anger within myself more and more.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to pretend to be happy, when facing these points, as a way to not face them, and to instead only verify the fears of facing resentment and anger more and more.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus not face resentment and anger.

When and as I see myself going into emotional turmoil, I stop, I breath, and I direct the point with what's here, and I bring myself back to self application by forgiving all of the fears of facing myself, and I practically face myself.

I commit myself to face myself in regards to resentment and anger.

Day 137 - eating too much, and eating right before sleeping

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to eat too much, within the context of "I'm hungry, I need to eat more". Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to only think I'm hungry, when not considering whether I'm actually hungry, or whether my mind is just using hunger, or wanting to eat, as a suppression system.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for eating too much, in a sort of self loathing way, to where I say "I'm a fat fuck who just wants to eat his life away, and can't stop eating". Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to relate eating too much, to being fat, in a negative sense, due to seeing and having this act of eating too much represent that I am only suppressing emotions, feelings, through eating.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to eat too much pizza, out of wanting to just have the experience of the flavor in my mouth, to where I want to experience sort of a release within having something in my mouth to chew on, and taste.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to eat too much when I just feel comfortable with eating too much, but then when I know I need to watch how much I'm eating, I feel stressed. Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to relate stress to having to watch what I'm eating, out of the idea, that not eating the amount "I want" is stressful.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not utilize myself within how much I'm eating, as a way to keep healthy, and prevent myself from causing any health problems, or excessive fat weight.

I forgive myself that I've accted and allowed myself to blame my medications for me gaining weight.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to think that because I've lost weight, that I can just eat as much as I want because somehow I magically won't gain it back, or that if I gain it back, I can just lose it.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create the experience of depression when I eat, not seeing and realizing that this is the relationship I've created to my body when it feels lathargic it over filled with food.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to abuse my body with too much food, and not considering how my body will feel, or how the organs will function, or what health risks I'm putting my body in when eating such fattening foods at such an excessive amount.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not support my body with healthy foods, and a healthy amount of foods that support my body in being healthy.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to eat right before I sleep, not considering that this causes weight gain, especially if eaten at a large amount, which while tired only feeling worse physically.

Day 136 - how to apply facing myself in a practical way SCS

I commit myself to apply self responsibility to the best of my ability, and to understand, that that ability can be perfectly accessed through seeing the point, directing the point, and releasing the point, one by one, and to not allow myself to get overwhelmed by points, because I can only control so many within a day, and to instead, focus on practicing how to better direct more emotions, more effectively.

When and as I see myself judging myself as having "failed" in a conversation, I stop, I breath, and I direct myself back to here, and to focus on what's here, what can be directed, and how I can move within myself to face whatever fear is effecting me.

I see and realize that when I see a point not being applied enough, that instead of judging myself, I apply myself to do better in my physical application, and do not go into blaming others, or blaming myself.

When and as I see myself judging myself within my process, do to thinking that my mannerisms aren't right, is top, I breath, and I walk the point of what's here, I direct it, and I do not escalate it from fear of not having "the right mannerism.

I see and realize that I can practically move myself with what's here, and that no matter what I experience, I can practically do it, regardless of the experience.

When and as I see myself escalating the fears of not being able to apply self movement, application, and response-ability, is top, I breath, and I walk through the point that is hindering myself, within my reactions to what people say.

I see and realize that I can direct what I've allowed to dictate me and define myself with. Within this, I commit myself to apply myself, when and as I see myself going into my past, and dwelling.

I see and realize that sharing self forgiveness does not have to mean that I have to forgive myself within the idea that others expect me to do it effectively, but that I can build my effectiveness, and ability by supporting myself within practically focusing and looking at what details can be applied better.

I commit myself to let go of points, when they start effecting me, or when and as I see myself getting effected by points.

I see and realize, that what's here, is something that I can move myself within, and gift myself, by applying myself to enjoyment, and self responsibility.

Day 136 - how to apply facing myself in a practical way

So the main point I'm focusing on in this blog, is how I can apply self responsibility, in terms of facing my reality, and of doing things in my everyday life, and how this can coincide, in assisting and supporting myself to build consistency.

So the main point to focus on, is how do I apply myself with facing myself, without allowing the emotions or fears to dictate my response -ability, in facing each point? How can I face myself in each point, by at the same time, doing chores, playing games, playing music, exercising, socializing, playing with dog, going to the store, driving, smoking, drinking a coffee, etc.. How can I not allow myself to let myself be directed by emotions, but instead, allowing myself to be directed by response-ability?

I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize, that response ability, is something that can be applied to throughout my day, while still going through experiences and emotions.

I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize, that emotions and experiences, are simply what they are, and that it takes time to utilize how to better face myself within experiences and emotions, by simply applying what's here, by focusing on the task at hand, and not allowing thoughts or experiences to dictate my understanding, and consistent application of applying self responsibility.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to limit myself with fears of "doing responsibility right" and then focusing so hard on trying to do self responsibility right, without considering, that I am inevitably not always going to do each little thing correctly, and that I am able to do what I'm able to do, and to simply be here in every breath as much as possible, and to stand within what I have to take care of within myself in relationship to my environment, without judging myself.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to limit myself with the expectation that I have to say the "right thing" or have the "right mannerisms" when talking to people, and wanting to enjoy talking, instead of just practically talking, and breathing through the conversation, focusing on what the conversation is about, and within that conversation, seeing what's most supportive that I can apply to the conversation, and how I can be most supportive within my mannerisms, and let them flow through, and not judge myself. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge myself within my process, when I feel that I have "failed" in a conversation, within the context of these points.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to think that my thoughts are "bad", where I will proceed to create knowledge that I've related to judging myself in practical responsibility.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to think that "I'm not going to be able to do my process, or succeed", within this, not allowing myself to practically apply self application. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge myself within my process, through this definition of failure.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to expect myself to please others with "right mannerisms", to where if I don't have a "right mannerism", that I then tell myself "I'm a failure, I can't do anything, I can't do my process. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge myself within my process with this point.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge myself when someone says something that triggers negativity, to where I then say to myself "I'm a failure, I can't do my process, or speak self forgiveness, or enjoy myself, or do what I require doing in my environment".

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow my past, within the consequences, and experiences I've had, to dictate my ability of confidence, and ability to apply self forgiveness, and self responsibility, and enjoyment, and self application.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to accumulate experiences and emotions, through judging them as "bad", to where I then escalate them, instead of practically letting them go, and focusing on what I need to move myself within what's HERE.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge my sharing of self forgiveness, from the idea that "I'm doing it wrong" or "it's not good enough". Within this, I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to practically build my self forgiveness, within focusing on the details of what I'm writing, and doing my best to get to the point more clearly, and effectively.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow one point to dictate my entire life, and experience, to where I will make it the main thing that effects me, instead of just letting it go, through self forgiveness, and self movement, and application, and knowing that what's best, is to forgive, and let go.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to expect something better than what's here, instead of just practically enjoying what's here, and practicing that.

Day 136 - gifting myself the ability to stand within myself

So within this blog, I am going to share my experience with going into the mental hospital, and what points I realized, and what points I have gifted myself with in terms of understanding and discovering myself.

So this past week in a half, I have been in the hospital, for multiple reasons - I was in a state of high fear of myself, and I didn't want to face myself within what it was I was experiencing, so to me this was like a big point, because to me, I thought facing myself, was this huge gigantic ability that "other destonians had, and I am not up for that because I have too many fears that dictate me, and I don't know how to stand up to them". So this was the main point, and other points that I feared facing followed - relationship issues, not knowing what to do in my circumstance, and not knowing how to face my biggest fears.

So when I entered the hospital, I was intimidated, and scared. I thought to myself "I'm here in this place, and something had is going to happen because all of these people have issues, and I'm going through issues that are this big fucking mountain, that I'm going to pretty much die in here". And from that point, I isolated myself in my room, and didn't want to be around anyone.

The more and more I just allowed myself to walk through facing myself in this consequence, I realized something within myself, but it just wouldn't spark. So at first I saw that there's people around me to talk to, I have a room to write in, there's a smoking area to do some exercises with, and there's books, a shower, and that I could move myself within these things. So I applied most to it, especially the writing, but I just didn't feel comfortable to talk to people because I was still shit scared within myself that something bad would happen.

So eventually I was moved from the yellow unit (the area with rooms and a lobby that held patients that weren't able to really function), into the green unit, which was where higher functioning people were, and which was allot more calm and less people, more freedom, etc. so after being placed in the green unit, I felt more comfortable, but it was simply out of my convenience of not being around an area where patients would get into conflict, which didn't really even happen, but it was simply an awareness. But for the most part, the freedom to go outside more, and to be in smaller groups was more comfortable, and put my mind at ease for alittle bit.

So while in the green unit, I was just doing my writing, and was talking to my family and friend, and my desteni buddy, and was doing my thing with applying what's here. Now the thing that I realized before, that didn't really settle in with me, sparked after talking to my buddy. Which was that - I have been applying myself, and dealing with all of these fears, but I just didn't know exactly what it was that was holding me back from really facing myself, which was, that I always payed so much attention to what I was thinking, what I was feeling, what I was experiencing, whether I was pleasing someone, or myself in relationship to someone, whether I was saying the right thing, and within all of this wanting everything to be "right". Then I realized, that all it takes to face myself is to be HERE. Focusing on doing everything that's HERE, and taking self responsibility for that, without all of these limitations, and useless points of trying to focus my attention on every little experience, every little movement, and to just focus on myself, in relationship to my environment, to the best of my ability, and to not push myself so fast to try to solve every fucking point, and to not create fears into fucking mountains. Because fears are simply fears, and experiences are simply experiences. It doesn't have to dictate who I am, and who I know I am in this moment, which is - confident, knowing what's best, and knowing hat I can apply what's best.

It's empowering to know that all it took was seeing that focusing on what's here, isn't scary, it's actually something I can enjoy, and continue my life with, and share with others. And I want to thank desteni, and everyone who has shared their experiences, their support,  their points, their application to this world and what's best for this world. It's truly something that everyone can embrace, and is something that I will continue to apply and embrace, untill I'm unstoppable with my experiences, my thinking, anything I've been taught, told I couldn't do, and have been limited by all together.

The next blog will be on how I will be applying all of this within myself.