Day 85 - redefining starting point - part 2 self corrective statements

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to expect reactions to have to be within myself in order to write myself out.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus write from the perspective that I require a point of mind energy in order to write myself out.

When and as I see myself creating the point of trying to gain a point of superiority over another within my process, as if I will 'get away' with points that I allow myself to hold back from, and within this try to protect myself with this position of making money off of riding ego and self limitations, then I breath within the point, I stand one and equal with the point as the point here, and let go of the need to defeat another or somehow protect myself from others judging myself within standing one and equal, and simply walk through the point here and practically change myself only as myself to really and in fact build self trust, and thus within this I commit myself to always bring it back to the starting point of firstly building self trust for myself, and not as a scapegoat for tryi to protect myself from the fear that others in my mind won't trust me if I 'don't do it', and then reacting in trying to gain something within the system, within my system.

When and as I see myself trying to push through a point as to 'having to eradicate' the point, and not slowly taking it ste by step to stand one and equal as myself to walk throu the point with stability and practical application, I stop, I stop trying to jump from multiple dimensions in my mind as a way to rush as this protective mode, and I simply breath back to standing one and equal within myself, and I start with one point at a time, as it is, and fully embracing myself here, and not as a personality protective system that I rush in my mind with.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to define standing one and equal as this rushing manifested vocabulary of 'eradicating' as the result of trying to just 'get rid of myself quickly' instead of having calmed myself within and as breath to walk through the point as myself at the moment, but instead as the accumulative reactions I accepted and allowed myself to build up. Within this, when and as I see myself being determined by the reactions, I stop, I breath, and I let go of the points through self forgiveness, and thus I thin this, I commit myself to focus on the point of creating voids through entertaining myself with world catastrophes on YouTube and watching conspiracies within my next blog as a point to utilize my relationship to instability occurring outside of myself, and how I reflect myself to the outside.

When and as I see myself not stable within myself, or inconsistent within breath, I practically come back to standing one and equal as myself here within what's here, and I let to of trying to validate reactions that come up within consistent breathing, and within this allowing myself to focus on points I'm walking through currently, in order to thus give myself a redefined starting point of patients, within actually accepting myself as life here, and not as a mind rush of fear and protection and survival within myself.

When and as I see myself trying to live off of feeling, and experience myself off of a feeling within my mind, I stop, I breath, and I go back to commitment statements, Nd living these current statements to direct myself off of an extent of principle within myself, to direct myself here as physical, and thus within this, I commit myself to always read current blogs in the mornings, and before I do writings or maybe if I need to check myself here as equal to myself, and thus within this giving myself clear direction out of the mind to what ever extent within myself, and actually changing myself fully as myself, and not as some verifying mind control, as an ego.

When and as I see myself trying to verify a point of conflict and war within myself, as if I just want this battle of the other party in my mind to exist to keep the point of fear to circulate in my mind, I sop, I breath, and within this, I come back to self, realizing that being here as myself is only and will only every be the most practical step to in fact having a point of self trust, and not as this form of gaining self trust from this government mini system in my mind, thus within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the only time I feel threatened from even something outside of mysef that has such intentions, is when I make that as myself, and that I accepted and allow myself to participate within that intent because of not allowing myself to breath here as one and equal with firstly myself here alone, and that the only way these points of outside influences that I've created I be an influence will change, is by first changing myself as a self trusting being, and thus in fact be able to walk through reactions of being in the case of an outside accepted and allowed influence. Thus within this, I commit myself to as well cross reference with current writings, as a way to beng myself back here to self focus, and self changing, and his within this realizing that this physical self only will change if ere is allowed trust between myself and my physical body.

I realize that trying to convey a physical image, and that trying to represent a physical strength, is my accepted and allowed inadequacy of being able to self trust myself as physical expression, and thus within this, when and as I see myself trying to convey a physical appearance of something higher than the very immediate expression it functions as, I stop, I breath, and within this I let go of the outside force within my mind as if there is an expectancy within my expression towards my process, or towards whatever it is outside of my process. Thus within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not let go of past memories that I've related towards this protection point within my process. Within this, I commit myself to apply myself with these corrections of coming back to self trust, and walking each point within the redefined starting point of trusting/knowing thyself, and within this directing myself as me within thus patients with each point, and not trying to protect an abstract position outside of my physical self.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize, that going and posting things on Facebook, or having this condescending behavior within knowledge as if to blame others for the support I 'feel' lacking towards myself, is only a void of accepting and allowing myself to trust myself here, and trusting myself to breath, trusting myself to be alone with myself, and thus within this, when and as I see myself trying to depend on another for there to be self support within myself, I stop, I breath, I practically let to of the participation through bringing it back to self, and in some cases applying self forgiveness t bring it back to self within the context of having allowed this dependency to accumulate. Within this, I commit myself to redefine my relationship to trusting others, as first coming to trust myself as life, and thus within this building a consistent and practical understanding of what it means to trust myself here as life, before ever considering helping another in terms of in fact supporting another life, when I require first building the application for myself as life alone one and equal as myself.

When and as I see myself trying to verify the want of another to support something within myself for me, and thus create a void of allowing myself to be supportive firstly for myself, and trying to verify the accumulation of having made another in my mind as having to see them be there, instead of allowing myself to bring it back to self accountability completely as self here, I stop, I breath, I let go of the words stated, let go of the points I accumulated, and firstly bring it back to a point of self trust, and within this coming back to in fact supporting myself within my points, and bring it back to walking patiently as self, calmly, and thus not rushing for a quick fix as allowing the result of fear of loss be the point of direction within myself, but however allowing mysef to come back to already being here with what I need to walk myself here alone, and thus not continue the point of dependency.

When and as I see myself allowing the fear construct of the existence within a reaction depict who I am, instead of trusting myself here within and as breath within each point step by step to where I create this want o have someone protect my from the outside force I've created from the reaction point, I stop e reaction firstly, and within this breathing, and coming back to self completely here win self trust as self first, and letting go of the reaction, letting go of the dependency, and within this giving myself the courage to in fact walk through each point with patients by giving myself that oppurtunity to trust myself within and as breath here, and earthing myself back here as practically living here as life, and standing ne and equal as myself here to walk through the points as self trustworthy here


When and as I see myself suppressing myself from a point within myself, I practically let to of thT point within consistent breathing here, and stop trying to validate the 'need' to be dependent on suppression and that construct I've accepted and allowed within myself, and instead breathing back here as self responsible, and thus self trust worthy that I will take responsibility for what's here as me, and thus in fact build a point of practical self trust from allowing myself to work with each point within trusting myself here as breath, and not as suppressing reactions.

When and as I see myself then creating this experience within myself as if I'm obligated to write out myself, or else, then I practically breath back to the redefined point of breathing as self trust, and I then take on the points as what I require doing from what's here, what is apart of schedule, what am I doing and should direct practically now, and within this, I commit myself to thus allow myself to redefine writing as writing self honestly from a starting point of self trust, and not as a point of having t get this school assignment done, or this 'job' done or else I won't get money from the job, and thus earthing myself here, and standing me and equal as myself here as each point for the point of building practical self trust within myself as life, And not as this consumer within my fears, but directing the fears as self, as breath here.

Wen and as I see myself self sabotaging myself under points as a result of trying to survive within the points and keep myself under the force and tension, I stop, I let go of the rushing reaction of having to figure out everything as to protect myself and thus within this, I commit myself to redefine being here with myself, as only when I allow myself to breath here as who I am as life, and that losing myself is only when I allow myself to not allow that trust to remain here as breath, and trusting that breath to direct myself back with each point no matter what circumstance I place within my mind from a reaction.

When and as I see myself trying to rush myself within a point of reaction, and then using the desteni members who have been experienced and live as an example of what I've accepted and allowed myself to be a void frm living within myself, and then using them as this driving point to write, or as this way to push myself to write, instead of simply living here as myself writing, I stop within the point of writing, and I breath, and within this earthing MySELF to being trustworthy. Thus it him this, I commit myself to redefine myself under my writings as a point of writing myself here as breath, as self supportive, and not as a energy void of having this idea of who I should be, and instead allowing me to be the directive principle as breath here within my words self honestly as me.

I commit myself to redefine my stance here, as exactly that, here as practical living breathing, and thus within this living as life within walking through each point self honestly here as myself, and not as this void of protecting myself within my own mind points, but instead practically taking on each point here self honestly as myself as breath, and within this building self responsibility, and building self trust, through actually allowing myself to build this point here as myself.p, as life, one and equal here. Within this, I commit myself to stop defining myself as words in my mind from points of reactions, but trust the breath, trust the physical, and within this allowing the physical to be my guideline to actually living vocabulary and words, and living principle, and thus within this, in fact building self trust, by living it primarily, and not by thinking before the breath, but breathing before I apply myself, and as I apply myself.

Day 84 - redefining starting point

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to apply my relationship to my process in regards to standing here as my process, as a point of having superiority over others, and as this way of being able to gain money out of my process for each point I apply and walk through.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus not actually walk through points to fully eradicate the feelings within myself to stand as life completely within the point I'm confronting, but however allowing myself to judge myself and go into anxiety win the point.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that walking through a point practically is only available when I allow/have allowed myself to breath consistently, and thus that being the determination of how effective the point is practically eradicated.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I thus require physically moving myself within each participation I correct myself to do in order to actually commit myself to the point here, and thus within the statement of self correction, actually focusing on each aspect of that self correction, and then to live that correction to in fact commit myself to stand here as life, thus not a point of feeling.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus not allow myself to breath and live those points here, because I'm deliberately holding back from fears I've related to the points I write out, and then not allowing myself to let go of those points in those moments where I can breath, simply because I am only wanting to verify the point of self protection and self interest within myself, and not actually physically push myself to change here within each point, within each moment of breath.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus define my relationship with my process, as if those point of say a physical appearance and my back making it unable for meto excersise   currently and probably for months to come, and then a point of letting go of that relationship (this being a current point) and the survival within that fear relationship or the negative outcome it in my mind of how my body will turn out from not exercising, be this driving point of how I move myself within my process. Thus, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have exercised as this way to try to convey physical strength as my strength here as a being, and thus creating a false image of this physical appearance, as supposedly my stability and strength to walk my process.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to relate my current ego deceptive relationships with others, as acceptable to currently exist while walking my process, as posting on Facebook points I try to convey as "everyone wake up" as to create a point of controlling others from actually seeing myself, and thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not let go of this idea as if I'm intellectual and need too resent myself as intellectual in order for others to support me. Thus within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create a void from building self support, and thus not wanting to in fact put in the effort to be the one to change what I see as unsupportive in my environment to a point of where there is gradual support.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus relate the points of self interests as not wanting to give them up for walking my process, and then trying to control and exploit others for a way for myself to try to have others sort of be supportive for me, and where I don't have to give up what I've accepted and allowed o be supportive.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus fear not having a person to ever be there to support me enough where I would be comfortable to give up these points of self interest, and thus within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not give myself the courage to stand up in most cases when I face points that society currently doesn't and wouldn't support, but instead banish a person from if in such positions I fear being in.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus have the starting point of gaining something out of doing self forgiveness, frm the perspective of being able to protect myself frm that point of fear happening, and then relating that protection point to my self forgiveness, and thus within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to becme indecisive and inconsistent and not willing, simply when I find that I have to let go of the fear factor of the self interest point, and then suppressing with isolation within myself.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to then feel obligated to write, as if I don't write, then I will receive the losing punishment end within the dimensions of my points.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself thus self sabotage myself under the points, and then start writing as to make up for the points, like paying back some mind mob, as to protect myself within the system to survive, instead of walking through the points here as living breath, and thus trusting myself as that breath and as that point of direction as life, without relating to the mind and this survival point.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus try to impress other members of desteni within my writings, as to protect myself from non destonians, or as this way to keep safe from my consequences as a system, and as if being in desteni just automatically protects my from my on accepted and allowed system as myself. Within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want to just go into this process for so many months, and then relating stories of others going to he farm, as if 'hopefully that'll be me' and like winning to survive and not fall within a non supportive environment and the aspects I see as unsupportive here.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create this within my mind from the perspective that I won't have to face the point of fearing the conseunces of certain points, as if I would get a soothing point of help frm another for current points as to getting like thrown in a prison or generally being banned for not meeting standards of current society, and thus within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to  to give myself breath completely here to stand within points within myself alone, and to completely stand as here within mysef to walk through the point as self responsible.

Part 2 with further self forgiveness

Day 83 - laziness part 4 - self corrective statements

When I see myself in and as self judging myself for a point that has yet to be utilized, or a point that I've allowed to accumulated where I then try to self sabatog within that loose end of myself instead of breathing back here to allowing myself to trust myself to walk through current points to eventually walk through that point - like falling of a skateboard and regardless of how bad the fall getting back up to ride the skateboard - I stop, I stop the participation within the point to what ever means I've created within the point, and thus stoping emotions that circulate that point, with breathing here, however allowing myself to actually breath consistently enough where I Llow myself to build that self trust to be patient with each point, and thus taking it step by step with myself as each point. Thus, I commit myself to redefine my starting point of standing up, as here starting from the point of self trust, with allowing myself the CHANCE to breath, like I have this living chance to stand. I could be near death in a bombing right now in the Middle East to it be able to stand, but I'm not, I have the tools, I have the capability, and I'm living comfortably to a well extent to stand here, so simply redefine myself as when I require standing, and giving myself trust within letting to of the points/distrust of myself, and allowing standing up completely tall to prevail as me.

When I see myself in and as self sabotaging myself within a point, due to a character relationship to a member, as if relating this point of punishing myself within my own inadequacy due to relating them as 'I'm never going to be able to walk through as well as them', then I simply stop the knowledge relationship that's constantly going through my head as that character relationship to them, and thus stop putting expectations towards myself that I obviously can't fulfill now, but within this knowing and understanding that all I require doing is being here being able to trust myself as who I am here, and within that actually applying In real time, real involvement with learning and educating myself to become adequate within process, where I can direct myself through points that I find difficult within myself here.

When I see myself trying to act out this desire of gaining acknowledgment for helping another out, Nd thus being indecisive within being ale to support even myself and thus let alone another And just causing more points within mysef to not actually stop and stand here alone as mysef to walk through a point within ME - I stop the participation with the conversations, the comments on Facebook, or the want to make a comment on smething that bothered me or that I wanted to 'save' someone from, and I bring it back to what the fuck is in me, what the fuck do I need to take care of to really take care of the other problems outside of me, and when will I will myself to stand and walk through the time this takes, by not that time being an idea, but actually walking through in and as the time? Thus, within this I commit myself to redefine my relationship to others in my mind through my back chat diary, and within my next blog on redefining my starting point, and giving myself direction out of self judgement from the accumulation of voiding knowledge from applying knowledge here as myself.

When I see myself in and as creating blame towards another, and within this trying to verify that blame instead of letting it go to come back here as self directive principle and thus focusing primarily on the shit within myself - I walk back here through focusing on what's here in front of me, and thus within this, I commit myself to build up the principle of breathing with what's here, through memorizing current exercises, and applying one tools along with building new tools for myself during work in my physical participation journal.

When I see myself in and as expecting a point of stability, and thus not in fact trusting myself within breath here, I continue to practice breathing, and continue walking through building up trust within moments of distrust through following each point and guiding mysef within how I participate and what I will participate in, and thus within this in fact building a point of stability.

When I see myself in and as fearing the reaction as bigger than me, and thus allowing that reaction to determine who I am here, even in cases where I really see a problem, I simply keep breathing, I simply keep walking through each point, untill I find mysef in the standing position to take on that point which I find to be multi dimensional. Thus I thin this, I commit myselfto redefine my starting point to letting go of multidimensional/confusing points.

When I see myself in and As trying to relate survival to points, or trying to relate my points t being able to survive in the system as my personality related system, and thus trying to walk through points to survive, I stop, I breath, and I stabilize myself within the point by continueing relating myself as breath to the point, and thus letting go of the want to gaining and surviving off of the point. Thus I commit myself to redefine howiapproach myself within following through with a point, as to build a point of actually slowly walking through points, Nd not rushing to get somewhere, like a rush to get to 'work' and getting the money to buy the product and get happy.

When I see myself in and as misdirected, I immediately stop, and I breath, untill I am back to a point of directing myself slowly, and not in a rush, through points, and thus helping myself with self direction as to what's here, and not as a money system, a personality system. Thus, I commit myself to start on redefining my starting point within my next blog to assist myself further within this point of slowing down and trusting myself within breathing back here.

Day 83 - lazyness part 3 - self corrective statements

When I see myself in and as moving myself under the construct of lazyness, I see myself in and as breath, and how my physical body is determined to stay alive, and within this build up the consideration throu breathin back to a point of stability within what's here, and within this sometimes even somewhat having to really focus n breathing to let go of moments that my mind wants to be the leader.

 When I see myself in and as creating the expectation of convenience within a point, or when I find myself resisting a difficult point - I stop breath, and I come back here, and within that moment, redefine my stance within each point I allowed myself to exploit to where I have related a mind attachment or a self interest attachment to walking my process further.

 When I see myself in and as allowing anxiety to take over my direction (especially when its sudden) and instead of breathing eventually within that moment, allowing self sabotage to not breath through the point determine my allowance of breathing or not - I let go of each point of self sabotage and emotional attachment to a moment of intense anxiety, or go to an isolated area for a moment to breath Nd literally stay there untill. Am stable to direct movement as breath, thus when I see myself in and as myself making excuses because of when others are around hich would cause more anxiety, I allow myself to breath within doing this, by going outside or in a bathroom, and then from is point seeing what's in front of me, and then going back with a primary focus of task.

 When I see myself making the excuse that how I feel is just 'too much' to be able to breath through, I breath through this point and moment of excuse and resistance, and from here on, allowing myself to take a step by step direction back to what's here. Thus, when I see myself in heavy resistance, or accumulate to this point - I first stop, breath. I then walk to an isolated area, and when in the area, stating 3 self forgiveness statements, and a corrective statement to come back to here. Then walking back, and continuing focusing on breathing primarily, and even in reaction to others around me. Within is, letting go of the points that caused me to fall, or anything related to a reaction. Thus within this really testing myself within each step to will myself to come back here.

When I see myself in and as allowing accumulated emotions to be the reality of what's in front of me, and self sabotage myself to this point - I stop, I breath, and I create the starting point within that moment that what's only here is myself living, and within this feel myself or do something to snap myself to coming back here, and thus, walking previous steps to breathing within myself. Within this I commit myself to investigate my starting pont and redefining my starting point within process in my next blog.

When I see myself in and as dwelling on points from the fear of 'bei a fuck up' in society, or being placed to any extent that society would place me at with related points, and then self sabotaging myself within this to not stand here as life and not a system to change myself within that point - I stop, I breath, and I let to of the point very strictly till I'm back here, and not allowing that point to accumulate any further to settling from self judgements, or further self judgements that I would only allow the point to remain and not be taken care of as life. Within this I commit myself to redefine starti point to points I relate to placing myself in and as a position of 'I'm a fuck up'

When I see myself in and as allowing the enslavement from fear determine my action to a point, due to fearing the negative that I accepted and allowed to let that point settle as its very creation. I stop, I breath, and I walk through the point, with the understanding of that breath being the very thing I'm coming back to, and that the point in itself is simply an illusion to keep myself from being that real self, and being here as empowered within the point. Thus within this, when I see myself in and as letting the feeling of comfortability determine whether I will walk through a point or not, I redefine my position here physically as breath, and walk through the point thus here slowly as breath, and allowing that trust of ability to make it through the point to here as stand breath, and not as the intense thought. I commit myself to redefine my stance within and as a thought that I would usually percieve as 'bigger than me'

Self corrections will finish in part 4

Day 83 - lazyness part 2

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to try to hold back from points as thus creating the innevitable judgements that come with the particular reactions from the points within myself that I accepte and allow myself to hold back from.

 I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create self judgement within my process, due to moments within my process where I allowed myself to hold back when recieving support from a member who I compared myself to in desteni, and then once I was supported, instead of being equal within that relationship to e member and recieving it as practically t the point they were referring to, I received it as dominant them and me less than them for my inadequacy, thus within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to define inadequacy as something a person has that somehow makes them superior to someone who doesn't have certain abilities, and understanding.

 I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus compare myself to other beings outside of desteni, and replace the who I've placed as dominant to me, in and as me as the character I represented as them, and then reflecting points of knowledge within myself towards others outside of desteni to protect myself from actually applying that within dishonesty I have, and then once I come up to a difficult point, I will self judge myself, because I've accepted myself to place myself as superior to another, and so us within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow humiliaty exist within and as myself when facing difficult points,due to wanting to hold on to points of acting as if that has already been utilized within myself.

 I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to therefor allow blame to continue existing within myself when seeing points within myself, as thus reflecting these points towards others instead of breathing here with what's here to stop those reactions frm accumulating.

 I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus expect myself to ahold a certain stance of stability, because I've accepted and allowed myself to not in fact be willing to walk through points within mysef that test my willingness to actually remain here as breath within and as myself, but instead allow the thoughts and the emotions and addictions stay and settle within and as myself without allowing myself to change these points.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus not be able to enjoy breathing here, because of allowing reactions that cnsistofinnevitable distrust to determine who I am, and thus trying to verify these reactions as being able to settle and remain as mysef within my process, and not allowing myself to completely let go of the self interest aspect and breath effectively here.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to try to rush through my process within competition and winning and gaining something from my process, and thus essentially fighting my process be ause I'm not actually building a foundation and a starting point of self trust for myself as life, but instead allowing points within myself remain as me competing with others every time I decieve a reaction, and thus within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow conflict to disempower myself when facing it, instead of allowing myself to consistently breath, and thus build from the points of conflict through physical movement, and physical application, and not allowing this point of physical application to be the focus when in a reaction, and thus not allowing myself to move within each reaction as step by step, as self trust.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not thus actually experiment within consistent breathing and consistent application, and then writing out points of mind participation that influences my process, when reaching moments of misdirection and when in moments of finding my self stuck. Within this, I commit myself to build a point of patients within myself, as to walking myself from here on to the next point, and within this coming back to consistent breathing.

Self corrections in part 3

Day 83 - lazyness part 1

I Forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be determined with how I move in and as lazyness.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to define myself under lazyness, due to fears of moving throu points within myself, more so than others. Thus win this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow expectation of certain points being more convenient than others, to determine when and when I don't have the power to change myself.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow lazyness to define me in and as movement, when I become anxious in and as walking through a point, where I will be walking through a point, and then I accepted and allow lazyness to be the outcome of covering up my knowledge/understanding that that point that i walk through, can be walked through as LNG as I applied myself to breathing, and letting go, but instead allowing lazyness to be the immediate prevailed choice when facing points.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus let points Ccumulate regardless of the known consequences, simply because 'I don't feel like breathin' 'I don't feel like walking through breathing and what breathing offers me within my self application within self honesty'.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus be defined by accumulated emotions.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow these emotions to guide me as what's real and what's not real, and thus within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to let the awareness of my past depict the outcome of my future, and thus within is, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow the point of "I'm a fuck up" determine my living decision to walk through difficult points.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus relate difficulty as 'bigger than me', and thus the bigger meaning I am the inferior, and thus within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow my egos functioning be the decision maker of when and when I won't stand. Thus within is, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize, that the only way I will become living effective here, is that I build up the strength and courage here physically, to walk through tough shit, to walk through my fears, and not t allow the very foundation of survival be the keeper of my own self destruction, but allowing the physical to flourish myself from the enslavement of fear, and becme life here.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself, to thus through fear, create this predetermined notion within myself and my process, that I MuST stand up, or else I will be punished. Thus, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not walk through the points I've related in and as my concious mind to my issues internally, but to instead let them settle due t not breathing through to understanding my concious mind manipulation trap to kee myself from standing here as life, thus within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear my own mind, instead of understanding it as simply an accepted and allowed system, that doesn't exist, and thus requires time to eradicate through walking through points and wires of myself slowly. Thus within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to consider myself as life under my process, which this life walking through points that always make sure that those points are walked through for myself as life, including all life, but not REALy considering myself as life within this process, but instead as this punished being for hat I have done, and not allowing myself to enjoy myself within the process.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus not allow myself to walk through points that concern self judgement, to give myself a chance to really get to the core problem with the ability to accept mysef as life win why I'm walking through that problem of self judgement.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus not investigate the starting point and the aspiration as to why I'm doing why I'm doing - why am I breathing - why am I writting - why am I cleaning. Within this, I commit myself to give myself support through investigAting and studying basic income and equal money, as to build a foundation of practical sense when having to consider personal problems required facing.


Continueing to part 2

Day 81 - happiness in process part 2 - further SFS/SCS

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create the point of expectation/self interest within my individual process to living here, that when I am walking through breathing here, I find if difficult to keep it simple practically here with each point, due to the expectation of garuntee within gaining something frm what I forgive myself and walk myself through/within.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus create intense breathing, where I force my breathing very aggressively, and not keep it stable and practical when I am simply here, and thus within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to relate a heavy breath in and breath out, to holding onto the expectation of happiness to the extent of anxiety and procrastination within what's here as me within actual breathing.

When I see myself in and as relating the point of happiness to breathing, as a point of trying to escape from the points, instead of breathing to in fact come back to what's here, and embracing myself as that breath to what's here, and to thus let go of it in terms of coming back here, as a reference point to assist and support myself to eventually get to the point but with the patients of with I am currently dealing with here. I let go of the expectation of feeling and emotion, with coming back to focusing practically with what's in front of me, and thus build a foundation of practice to come back to what I'm working with, and thus being able to depict what's in fact best for myself as what's here as physical experience, in relationship to the breath that allows me to experience that physical relationship, and thus in fact letting go of the mind manipulation points that accumulate with radical breathing, to thus slow myself down, to the point of in fact, radical responsibility, and radical relationship, which is thus showing, that by breathing, I am allowing myself to be patient and take it slow, and thus actually willing effectiveness through taking it slow as breath.

When I see myself in and as judging myself within my breath, due to relating the past to my breath, and then suppressing this point through creating self interest within my breath - I let go of the point I've related to myself as breath, with breathing as its back to here, and within this just as well when I see myself in and as accumulating the mind.

When I see myself in and as suppressing my process with the delusion of peace and harmony as this way of exploiting myself within breathing here, as if I'm supposed to have comfort within breathing as opposed to discomfort of the mind, in terms of this being expected - I come back to self, within the very points I require walking through, that I require facing, and I embrace that as what I require taking responsibility for, and thus, and simply using breathing to assist and support myself to walk through the points effectively, and clearly.

When I see myself in and as having the reaction to exploiting my breath to not take self responsibility as breath, through judgements as a way to self sabotage myself from remaining as stable breath to take self responsibility for the points within myself, I stop the nonsense point of rushing myself within my mind, and I simply breath here, as with what's here, and slow myself down to the point of dealing with what's here, letting go of the mistake, and then starting again, and assisting and supporting myself with breath, with practically each point, and stopping the excuse to rush myself, and thus in fact procrastinate myself from real self responsibility - through breathing/radical breathing.

When I see myself in and as relating breathing, as this mind state of peace, and thus a feeling of love and light and self interest, in fear of chaos and allowing points within myself to accumulate from not breathing here - I practically stop the point of expectation within survival, and come back to self, as with what I am working with here, and simply starting from that point and continuing to the next point, step by step with breath, and thus breathing to assist and support myself to real stability, to real intent of harmony for what's best for all, and thus assisting myself to becme adequate enough to follow the necessary physical procedures within myself and my environment.

When I see myself in and as making excuses to not face a point, I assist and support myself with breathing, to come back to self within that dimension, with understanding that the breath is what brings me back here alone, and thus once its breathing, I can direct myself through the point, because the breathing is assisting me as life, to not be the mind, but to live in relationship with what I've accepted and allowed myself to corrupt as the mind.

When I see mysef in and as trying to verify my automatic nature as the mind, and accepting and allowing the automatic knowledge misdirect me to the point of creating and thus trying to continue my decision making out of fear and dishonesty - I stop, I breath, untill I am back to self honest direction here, and I thin this, letting go of the excuses, letting to of the worry, and fear of misdirection and thus the point of losing within that corrupted relationship I try to thus verify, and I bring myself back to where and what I was proving lay able to direct myself with with the tools of self honest application, and within this, understanding, that a real relationship, will consist of my willingness to solve any problem and thus abstract effect within that once real relationship, and thus in fact assisting and supporting myself, within each breath, to direct myself within a self honest relationship, untill it is done, untill it is back to its original automated state.

When I see myself in and as expecting this easier position within my process, due to the exploitation of self forgiveness statements that I currently laid out for myself - I stop, I let go of that expectation of an easier position and somehow advantage to walk through further points, and I thus give myself the real assistance and support to come back to this point, to the next point I face, as thus, walking principle no matter how hard the point is, and thus in fact allowing myself to walk through that point, in fact with what's here, no past, no future. I commit myself to focus on my breathing patterns when I am here breathing, and how my own breathing reacts to a certain point within myself, within firstly the points I have laid out for myself as record within this blog. Thus within this, I commit mysef to remain here as breath, and to know that I have a guideline to taking the next step within each point to the extent of support I've shared for myself here with effective and real breathing.

Day 81 - happiness in process part 1

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create happiness when I breath, as if the breathing is supposed to releave me from what I've accepted and allowed within and as my mind conciousness system.

 I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create the point of happiness when breathing, as a point of self judgement to having not allowed myself to breath before I allowed myself to breath.

 I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to relate breathing to peac pe and harmony, as if breathing is this movie relationship, where the character was in so much pain and suffering, and then I ally, he finds peace and harmony.

 I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to then judge myself within my breathing, and feel insecure within my breathing, due to exploiting my breathing as a point of peace and harmony related to the point of happiness.

 I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus create the expectation of harmony within my process, in fear of being in a state of chaos within myself, and thus suppressing this fear and reflection of my mind, to peace and harmony, when I am in a state of breathing.

 I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself, to thus relate the point of breathing, to this moment of being able to have this advantage to not allow my self accepted and allowed automated nature to take over me, thus within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself, to not realize, that this happiness relationship to breathing, is the point of my mind, trying to get this quick fix from what I've accepted and allowed in and as myself, and thus within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to expect a feeling in relationship to breathing, in order to not on fact face points within myself, and thus innevitably, not allowing myself to breath effectively, due to the excuse of 'I don't feel like doing that' when I do in fact face a point whilst breathing.

 I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus have manipulated the point of breathing, with the notion that breathing is a way to get me out of self responsibility, thus within this,
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not breath here, specifically to create manual direction to what requires taking care of the fucking problem within myself that I've related to what's here.

 Part 2 with SCS

Day 80 - expecting a voice in my head to do it for me - self corrective statements

When I see myself in and as not breathing here, I will firstly, let go of all thoughts by breathing, and then simultaneously, when I have the clear opportunity to open up and share a point And face and a point within myself, I continue to let to of all excuses, of all thoughts in general not to face the point, and then take it step by step with breath by breath. And push through the hardship of emotions with breath, untill I walk through the point with breath fully, and untill I am stable enough to come back here within my day to day living, with breath, and thus being able to direct myself within and as breath here, self honestly, and us that actually representing my willingness to in fact keep it simple and step by step within breathing here. Thus within this, I commit myself to breath through the moments when I find myself scared, and placing excuses and fears within myself t not physically work and utilize myself to physically adapt to what I require utilizing, and within this, always making sure to slow myself down when I've allowed a point to continue within myself, and to simply breath, and continue taking it step by step, and thus willingly, untill that point is brought up, and then breathing through the point when in that clear moment to confront the point, and even if I I recognizably fall, breath through errors in my schedule, and thus within this, I commit mysef to utilize a part of my schedule within self forgiveness to give myself opportunities to self correct myself after facing a point I require utilizing within that moment.

 When I see myself in and as finding it difficult to take direction, and find a tough point within allot of emotional misdirection that I accept and allow to influence myself to hold back, and then start to try to figure it all out at once in fear of that very misdirection - I stop, I breath, and I let go of the point within breath, and regardless of where I'm at, knowing and understanding t this extent, that once I allow myself to really let to of what I'm trying to protect with breathing, then I can really bring mysef back here to simplicity, and thus simple direction.

 When I see myself n and as lacking consideration for what's here, and accumulating this within and as myself as dishonesty to walk through the discomfort and of what ever. See myself in and as not considering something. I stop, I slow down, and I continue breathing here, and then, focus on Jodi can get to a position of writting the point out, or stating the point out loud step by step, and thus within this, I commit myself to always make sure to breath here, and then see what's the most effective walking point to where. Left off within and as myself, and frm this, allowing mysef to stop the fear of intending something accumulative, with knowing and understanding to this extent, that I have real direction to work with to in fact prevent points from manifesting and sabotaging my relationships, and that I have allowed myself to know that in order to tab olive myself even in the hardest of points, that all I require, is breathing here, and from that breath, seeing what needs to be utilized frm a simple point within myself that I've utilized, to thus assist and support myself to push through the points of inconsideration.

 When I see myself in and as postponing myself deliberately to not walk through step by step more so than the willingness of my breath here, and thus see myself in and as inevitably allowing myself to lose that breath, I simply stop, I slow down, I breath, at the same time, focusing on the darkness, focusing on the intense emotions, and within this,with each breath, walking through the shit, and taking the first stand, and then breathing, then once I can move to the next step, take that stand within breath, then keep moving within and as breath, then so on, untill I am here again, day to day, with practical direction, and thus when I see mysef in and as making the excuse to not walk through a point because I see that there are many loose ends, and the consequences of these loose ends, I stop, I breath, and I let go of those points, and thus stop the excuses within myself, and then, from this, taking that step by step, breath by breath stand back to considering what's here, in and as myself, within solving each point, point by point.

 When I see myself taking advantage and exploiting my breath here with the thought of being able to gain money, and gain skills better and more effectively, and making the excuse that the knowledge of this, means I can continue manipulating my breath as gaining money and exploiting my relationships for money, I slow don, let go of the point breath by breath, and within this seeing what's in fact here, and what I in fact need to work with here, and thus when I see myself in and as procrastinated within movement, and limited within effectiveness because of fantasies, I breath, I let to of the expectations, and when in the clear position to walk through the point, I do it then, and also within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that physical participation, is a way to help with understanding that real relationship, and that real point of working with as physical,and not as a consciousness relationship. Thus within this, I commit myself to also Corliss reference with the physical participation schedule apwhen I see mysef in and as losing working what's here, and thus showing myself, that there is a document of information I've given myself, high if not fully effective, its still plenty of mapping to work off of and in fact make it as a way to better direct myself practically. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus also exploit this relationship to schedule, frm the excuses of not in fact participating within each moment of schedule due to postponement within breathing and considering schedule fully. Thus within this, I commit mysef to utilize the point of writing in the morning and reading blogs the night before, to give mysef directive principle for the rest of my schedule, and thus within is, when I see myself in and as finding mysef not fully certain whether my schedule is fully supportive, I then write myself if haven't already, and utilizing off of what I have written to support myself most effectively within step by step daily living.

When I see myself in and as judging myself to particular points within myself, especially after accumulating to a certain extent of having mind fucked myself out of a fall in most cases, or simply from the point of trying to verify the point I'm allowing myself to not walk through here - I stop, I breath, I let go of the expectation realized within myself through breathing, and I simply come back to where I currently am, and wherei need to move next, including letting to of self hatred, self regret, and understanding that, in order to change the point within myself, I can neither have positive or negative expectation, and thus by letting go of the points of expectation, I can n fact release the point of accepted and allowed judgement win myself, by coming back here, with breath, and within, this, always understanding, that I'm simply walking with what I'm capable of walking with, and frm there, moving towards the next step, and utilizing myself the best and most effective, with breath with each point.

When I see myself in and as becoming in an unstable state of direction within any circumstance, and find myself finding it more difficult to breath, I then within this, slow myself down within action, within what I'm participating in, and then letting go apogee the protections slowly, through focusing on what's here in front one physically, and thus within this, allowing myself to eventually calm down, go to an isolated area, breath, let the thoughts go, go listen to some nice music, or go on a walk, and within this, coming back to the point I left off much more effectively, and thus not allowing myself to create the point of self judgement, of self protection within a point that I allowed to accumulate As negative, and thus within slowing down action, being able to easily and more effectively, reach the next step, gather myself, let go of the expectation, and push myself through, with slowness, and with calmness, and also, letting go of the want of supressin through this, and coming back to self with breath, with acceptance, and then walking through the next point I deliberate direction t taking care of that point, and learning frm mistakes within this as well, in counter to making excuses for the mistakes.

Day 80 - expecting a voice in my head to do it for me

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that by living here breath by breath, that only then will I be most effective, have a real point of process and step by step movement within process with actual effective results here in the physical.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus not relize that in order to actually take real consideration to what's best for all life, that when in moments of facing a point within my environment here, that it requires firstly taking account that I breath here, and that when I breath here, then will I get the proper direction necessary to actually stand for what's best for myself and everyone else in my environment.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not relize that when I allow a single thought to be loose within my expressions, that this will realistically cause a postponement within my consideration, within who I am, within the point of whether I'm actually willing t take a stand for what's best for all, what's best for here as each breath.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus not realize that I require utilizing who I am when breathing, and not to deliberately postpone a point within breathing as itself.

 I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to expect myself to have this huge advantage and just do everything correctly, not realizing that expectation is still a voice in my head that I'm expecting to work for me, not realizing that when. A herein the physical as breath, I am here as breath as to what I accept and allow myself to be here as breath as, and thus when I am in fact here as breath, I will in fact work here as breath, here as equal and one to as much as I allow mysef to breath, regardless of how hard it is.

 I forgive myself thative accepted and allowed myself to thus judge where I currently am within who I am as what I've accepted Nd allowed mysef to be, therefor within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize, that I as willing life, require walking through these judgements, and ever single directin I've accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as within and as is process,within a point, within standing, within falls, within excuses, within every single aspect, and that this will only be effective, if I in fact breath here, and apply that breath to what it exactly represents to what's here as myself, and that I will in fact require walking through any extent of risk, any extent of position, with no garuntee, and that I can only live here with what's here, and memories and energies that Come up within myself, must be eradicated through RADICAl breathing, through breathing with what I'm working with.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself, to not realize that to look at what's here effectively, requires also applying stability within self equal to the point and participation of radical breathing, and that what I am confused with/dishonest with, will only be sorted out throu radical breath, and in fact applying that radical breath t what's here, n ever moment, and thus breath by breath, with thus simply, point by point.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow myself to have misconstrued desteni material to an extent, and within my reactions to the material, to the point of having duped myself to creating the memory, and idea, that I require reaching all points at once, or else I will receive the tonalities that I accepted and allowed myself to have instead of applying within self at the time, made excuses to not have stood up within that information with breathing, with whats best for here, all life, and then once having made the excuse to keep my ego, having self judged myself within my own process, to such an extent that I've accepted and allowed myself to in so many instances fall because instead of standing alone, I accepted and allowed myself t have therefor manipulate what I use then as information, as simply knowledge. Within this, I forgive mysef that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus not realize, that when I am being supported, and had supportive information, that I am not fully self honest within that support, and thus within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize, that I still require walking step by step, and when I do see that I need to change something, then that is wherei continue breathing, and then as I continue with what I've commited myself to, eventually breathing enough to the point wherei am self honest wi that change, where I am complete as here as that change. Within this,I commit myself to walk through investigation within this pont, through continueing radical breath.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself, to have manipulated the reality that I can possibly make unrecognized errors, with judgements and self victimization. Within this, I forgive myself that ive accepted and allowed myself to not realize, that if I am actually breathing, and continuing breathing for what's best for all life, then I will accept and not react to bluntness, to consequences, regardless of what I have done and shown. Thus within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself as life, with creating points within myself that I supported to an extent, but not fully, Nd then using knowledge of what I had supposedly taken care of, and justifying not to breath here, not to continue on/really take care of the fucking problem, and not to fully apply myself within radical breath.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself, to have manipulated a point of what's here, and then creating that into this idea, as if I am so intellectual for the knowledge within this error, and simply that, therefor, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to therefor, use this point of creating my points of ego, as this thing of trying to control others around me, by instead of actually and practically utilizing the point that I've accepted and allowed within myself, regardless of how many dimensions and branches off of that one point that require walking through and even walking through having to let it go at moments, I allow it to remain as knowledge, and within this creating the point of thinking I'm so intellectual for understanding my own shit. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to try to protect the point within self victimization, and self judgement of the point, where I will thus seek for the high by creating the point of abuse, as justifying the point of abuse with taking advantage of others with my very process in relationship to the point I accepted and allowed myself to manipulated as a way to survive under my own accepted and allowed fears, and excuses, and thus self interest only.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus within this point, create the negative point towards myself, from when I accepted and allowed myself to generate the manipulation deception feeling of being punished within the information. By manipulating th tonalities as reactions to make the excuses, and within this doing this to such an extent, that I will manipulate that point of knowledge, as if I am that knowledge firstly, and then use the fear behind keeping it as knowledge and not living it, by replacing actually walking through the point, wi figures ive accepted and allowed myself to create as superior to me, and then start acting like those characters in my mind/my accepted and allowed defition towards them, and then being pretentious within what I state, and causing abusive and sabatoging relationships rou making the excuse, that because I know it, means I can act this point out.

Self corrective statements in part 2..

Day 80 - falling in process self forgiveness/self corrective statements.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have bought into the point of having to survive within environmental changes with the people, and within realizing this, having lost count of breath when getting to work, S if "oh my god this is just so much and I don't know if I can do it and continue consistently

. I forgive mysef that I've accepted and allowed myself to, instead of slowing down when I had the chance to at work, going into fear of surviving at work where I rushed myself to hard to the point of getting the work done to rush home. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow myself to second guess myself within my own process, by the second I allowed myself to lose breath here.

 I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear my own intent within falling int survival mode when I a in fact walking through the process.

 I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want to hold onto suppressant misdirection points that I used to participate without the schedule, and then when I do go participation by participation within schedule, I relize that those relationships were abusive, and then when I do hAve Acess to these relationships, only wanting to release like this bit of energy to get my fix frm "having to work so hard".

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not relate my fall with the points I am currently walking through, within this not realizing, that by trying to get ahead of my self, I ill inevitably overwehlm myself and will feel stuck within a point, because I am trying to reach too many dimensions at once and trying to just get there now.

I forgive myself that I've not accepted myself to breath, and to just slow the fuck down and grab ahold of where I left off, and starting from there, practically, simply.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not slow down my body, slow down myself here physically, to assist and support myself to be able to breath, and to be able to give myself time to gather myself back here.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am going to have to practice slowing myself down, which requires breathing, coming back here, and seeing "where did I leave off, and from there, where do I continue"

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to become in fear of my future intent from the points I'm walking step by step, and then allowing this fear to take over me and direct me, and discourage me here when I d breath.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not walk through that point of expectation when I do have the chance to share, and just telling myself "ok, if this is an issue, then fine, calm down, slow down, breath here, and then once I'm done working, go home, and take care of it", and within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to get frustrated at work due to just wanting to rush and get home and take care of all of these points, and just his big accumulation of trying to figure it all out with my mind.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to place myself in the deep end, and judge myself within the points I'm walking throu, and thus making them out to be this extensive hard task, not seeing and realizing, that I am simply judging myself, I am simply making the points that are simply my mind, out to be this huge end of e world scenario, when clearly I am standing up, I'm breathing, and then allowing the judgement to take ahold of that breath.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not come back to schedule, to reference myself back to schedule, when in a rush, or when in this tense survival mode around other people, and allowing myself to observe everyone and figure it out, instead of keeping it to self, and keeping it practical step by step.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge myself within my points, and then reflect towards others as this escapism fom my own judgement, MY own exploitation, MY own self created negative.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see that, I am alone with these points, and therefor, I can change whoi am alone, I can walk alone, and AllOne with breath, and as long as I am with breath with the points, as long as I give myself these necessary excersises to come back here, and actually follow these excercises, within my environment, I can do this, I can change my points, and I can change what I know n my environment needs to be essentially fixed as a whole, and know that this will take time, and that I have the access to using that time step by step, to change myself to in fact change my environment to smething healthy.

I forgive myself that I've thus not considered my standard of living, and my moms standard of living within what I accept to keep stationary as my standard of living by allowing myself to bring this completely false negative point within myself to keep myself in a living that consists of not even living, but surviving in illusion, surviving in money, the shit that I'm allowing to continue manifesting frm my mind participation, my money participation, and allowing that system of negative be the outcome within my environment, and continue effecting my mother, my co workers, my family.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus, instead of changing what I see as destructive, I becme depressed, I react to it, I allow myself to try t think I can change it y the foundation of what I've accepted and allowed myself to stay as a system position in this world system, by polarities, by money, by the excuses to keep myself in this survival mode, and then holding back when I've accepted mysef to accumulate so far after falling.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be so dictated by my selfinterests, and to just take that eas route of escaping win what I've eradicated within the schedule for myself, and simply wanting to hold n to those protection points, and not actually explore myself within the same interests, but now, allowing myself to be an actual expression through directing myself win his schedule.

I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to appreciate myself, to hug myself for a change, that I've given myself the tools to direct myself, and that I have the ability and knowledge to direct myself, but simply, not choosing to use that advantage that I've only allowed myself t create not a dream for so long, and make it into a reality, really live it, really work with it.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus create expectations within my schedule, because instead of living it, living what I know, living the tools I have given myself and have been given unconditionally by desteni even in my most outrageous moments still being supported, using it as an ego high, as a dream, as a fantasy.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself I his hold my past inconsistencies against myself, and to giving up the fantas that impeded me before.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to therefor, not realize that n order to really walk throug these points patiently, and ste by step, that I will really require being real with what m using, and that any looseness that create this sense within myself of hope, will innevitably turn into this disastrous spiral of getting what I wished for, because I didn't actually in real time apply myself, even if I do ever point in the schedule, because I used those points as energy, as hope as expecting to receive and gain smething, not realizing thT just living here is already enough, is like the best there is because when want more, I will cause more friction unecessary.

When I see myself in and as rushing myself within my environment, and find myself stuck in an emotional state due to adapting and to change within my environment - I stop, I breath, I literally, stop, sow myself down, let go of the thoughts within fears when in this state, and come back here to the point of directing myself within slowing down within where I'm directing myself, how I'm directing myself, and stop trying to verify that point of misdirection win myself, and within that, remember to tell myself "slow down, come here, work with what's here, breath and slow down within the state, and be patient with the point untill I get time to slow down and correct the point" and within this, directing myself back to what e schedule says, and allowing myself to work within that schedule, even if it means taking alittle longer breaks, but within tht break making it with schedule, and not to sooth the misdirection, but to simply slow it down, which knowing that is in real time rewarding, and that is what in fact helps me as life, and not by suppressing and his only rushing myself more.

When I see myself in and as second guessing my expression within process, and when allowing myself to keep the suppressant points accumulating the point of survival, instead of slowing mysef down - I stop, I breath, di direct myself back to schedule, and. Nderstanding what needs to be done by referring directly to schedule, and understanding that the only way to walk through these moments within rel time, and to I fact push through the points within myself, and the flaws within my direction, is to go through with the schedule, to keep myself practically with what the schedule shows, and to always direct myself back to schedule/here, and allowing myself to direct myself away from the fears, away from trying to control the point with my mind, and breathing back here, and directing myself practically from the point I left off of, stopping the mind, stopping the bullshit back chat. Within this, I commit myself to breath before the 8 to 9 hours of work, to practically breath within work, to not rush myself, and when I see myself in and as rushing myself and making the point of working bigger than myself, and relating negativity, I stop, I breath, I literally slow myself down within that moment, I isolate myself if needed, and I direct myself back to schedule as a reference point to here.

Day 79 - falling within process

So there seems t be a point of loose ends within myself that seem to compromise myself from allowing myself to breath back to here, and when I get to these points that just absolutely seem nearly impossible to walk through, as if I have a gun being my thoughts, and having those thoughts pointed to my head and being guided around what to do, and then the breathing is wher the mind with the thoughts/the abuser with the gun says "one more funny move and ill blow your brains out/breath and I will be eradicated, so don't breath, FEED ME!"

Another point once I fall within this, is that, its like because I've fallen, that somehow dictates whoi am as a being, and whoi am as the decision maker, and thus I create expectations towards not falling, thus  I inevitably will fall, and then once I do fall, I got what I wished for, because the whole point of having stood up was to allow myself to trip over the same stump, and once I stand again, and eradicate the stump on my journey, I know not to hit the stump again, but then I didn't remember that there's possibly some branches that have fallen frm the tree, Nd I trip over th e branches of the tree.

So it seems that once I really start walking, its like, going int this really really tough event, or thing. I would make real co parisons, but to make a really well analogy to this - its as if, I am about to escape prison, except in this case being a more supportive prison I guess lol, r like escaping a video game prison, where I start out with easier bad guys, and I have shit combat skills, but the further I go, the better combat skills, and equally the hard the guards get. So within this process, its like, I know that when I take some tough stands, and am continueing, that I am going to reach some very tough points that will seem nearly impossible to walk throu. So its like, when you get a checkpoint n a video game, and that check point is there for you to go back to and start over to allow yourself to try again, and a the next time I try with the combat skills against the guard again, I can see more n detail why I failed the first time, and why I was maybe even inevitable to fall to an extent the first time because it was a new dimension of skills and challenges, and so the two had to tango enou to connect together and get past to a higher level to a harder guard with better combat skills. So this is practically how it is within my process.

Now, the point that seems to pass me when this occurs, is that I walk throu a point, but I just can't accept the fact of facing a much more challenging point as a keep pushing, and breathing, and then when I find that boss battle/ultimatum of myself within all of the other sequences of dimensions, I have the much lesser chance of making it through the first time, because when that point comes up, its like whether I will really stand with what I've placed skin myself to stand, and because this is lesser currently, is because I accept and allowe myself to second guess my principle, who. A as here, And think, tht just because I'm struggling, and find it hard t breath, and have accumulated so little or so much, that that fall/evaporation of self t that degree bac to the checkpoint, just completely alliterates what I've stood as, and that I therefor can't get back up, brush off my shoulders, and walk through everything that  allowed myself t push me back.

Now within all of this, there's clearly a shown problem, a big problem, because I've accepte dead allowed myself to create such anegative to falling, that there's now dimensions within falling, and so not only do I require standing back up from what I fell from, I require also touching the other dimensions it him falling in itself, and even require walking through practicing falling multiple times untill I see the counter productivity of its true nature, and not giving into e easyness of acting in falling only more, even though I've come to such an extent I thin this process, and can see hat I've proven t myself, and see the abusive outcome of giving in.

So, unfortunately for my well being I've accepted and allowed this point to accumulate to a time where I require sleep I thout beng absolutely exhausted and causing more of his point. So a point of patients to my learnt extent will be required here, and also breathing through, for the impatience I've had and the patience have been yet fully utilized.

So allot to be done here, allot t be looked at, and what will I do, fuss, wine, as if that will change who I am, or get back up, practically, not as a polarity point, but here, and change the next step to make sure it doesn't occur again, and then fall again, and get back up, and change. So, therefor I ill give brief self direction for this point, and t continue schedule, continue physical participation, and breathing here,

I commit mysef to make the next schedule for tomorrow, on what I will participate I thin, what I will write, and within this looking at where I've left off before I allowed myself t fall.

I commit myself t lay down, breath, and come back fully here, to us give myself stable directin t standing again.

I commit myself to apply sf/SCS within the points that led to falling here, and thus focus on this point primarily tomorrow.

I commit myself to now,, pick up e kitchen real quick, and then make the schedule, and g to bed.

Day 78 - approaching my participation within relationships - fear of losing stability (current moment of anxiety) part 2

A currently I have had a pretty hard hitting experience within my mind.

Ski was at work, and then everything was cool, came home, and had seen a familiar truck outside, and realized that it was the people who used to live here. I then just walked in, and said hi to the people, and then walked in, and settled in.

Now to of gointo detail to lay out certain emotions and only accumulating the point, I will basically say that I had a huge transition from stability to this point of fear, anxiety, and al sorts of emotions within myself, due to the situation with the people who are here.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myselfto fear being abusive, or being abused to the point of allowing the impulse create me as a abusive, from the memories of when I was accepting and allowing myself to be abusive from the impulse I interconnected within the coexistence of these people.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of the expectation when coming up to the point of anxiety and fear around the other person, and in relationship to who I used to accept and allow myself as.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow these memories get me to this intense point of second guessing myself, and going into this state of emotional instability and this evaporation of what's here within my co existence.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have created the expectation of having to be nice, of having to be supportive and welcoming, in fear of going back to the abuse that I've caused in the past, and this within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to try to approach this blog as protecting myself from the people, and not bringing it back t self, here. Thus, I commit myself to slow down, breath, and take a few drags of my ciggerette, breath, look,p and see what's here, and come back to the writing.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear having the level of integrity within the current reaction I'm experiencing now.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have related feelings and this position of Nd within myself as integrity, as a superior attribute than others. Tus within is I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to try to protect myself within integrity, as to dominate the other people under the reactin of abuse in the relationship of the people.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want to dictate myself with emotions, and go into the point of rush when I find a point/thisi current moment of anxiety, and go into the points of protecting a superior position through victimizing myself within the reaction, the fear Im currently experiencing within anxiety.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create blame towards the other person from the fear from the reactin of what I've accepted and allowed myself to experience with the people. Within this point I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not breath here, being it back to self, and change the point, change t relationship thT I've accepted and allowed myself to accumulate within my life, thus within this I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to realize that in order to in fact and practically prevent abuse towards another, and towards myself,is to write myself out, to follow physical participation, to walkthroughthe point of fear fully, breath by breath, point by point, to firstly change myself, and then from this point, taking step by step practical direction within my environment, within my relationships.



I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have created expectations towards past corrections to points, in fear of losing the care and integrity within what I live in and as that correction, and thus accumulating to this point of beng misdirected and accepting and allowing myself t be more submissive to when I face a reaction, when i Require breathing through a point, and thus within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be dictated by fears and emotions within my stability when walking my process, as a point of fearing losing stability, and thus giving u when I find myself unstable, and find myself becoming unstable, and thus allowing myself to not will myself t walk through the point because of wanting to not protect a self interest point, which is surviving as stable.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not come back fully here, and enjoying sharing this point and opening up this point within myself, and focusing on writing here, writing this point for actually supporting myself, and thus within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow this point of accumulation for not breathing, and letting go of the points that I'm trying to figure out with my mind, and not coming back here, to practically changing the reaction, point by point, breath by breath.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear walking through the point of instability, and thus within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear taking self responsibility, a really pushing physically through points.

I forgive mysef that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus define myself as lazyness, and to thus dictate myself with emotions from the very point, of not allowing mysef to practically walk through each emotion, but instead categorizing my emotions and what I require walking through, as this point of self victimization and not wanting to go into instability, and thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not be self honestly willing to walk throu the point of instability, and instead try to counter this fear with protecting a position of stability when correcting and walking

day to day, t not risk myself t dare to walk through every point, regardless f e responsibility
 required,necessary.

When I see myself in and as relating myself to protecting a point of stability in relationship to anxiety, and thus currently to the people, I stop, I breath, and I continue untill I have let go of the point to apathetic extent of actually standing and changing the point of anxiety, of the reaction I face with the people, and when in relationship t my environment in general, and to general points of anxiety and moments of accepted and allowed instability.

When I see myself in and as trying to protect an expectation that I've accepted and allowed within myself, as to kee the comfortable feeling I've related to the point of stability. I stop, I breath, and I look and see where and what needs to change within the very moment of reaction, and frm this point d physical participation, or walk, or have. Ciggerette, and once I'm here, in fact walking through the point, step by step, breath by breath, letting go of the limitations, and pushing and walking through the point, regardless of the emotional experience, or the petty ego.

When I see myself n and as trying to protect this point of stability and responsibility in relationship to the people, and to my envirnement and points of anxiety. I stop, I breath. And I come back to here as self, stop the emotions, let go of the anxiety, and change the point practically p, point by point. Within this I commit mysef to bring every relationship within co existing to the people back to self, and to not give into the point of reactions, or accumulate tension unecessary from reactions.

When I see myself in and as trying to protect this point of the image of integrity, or accumulate myself to the point of having feared losing this image of stability, or this image of integrity, I stop, I breath, and I accept myself within what I've accepted and allowed within the past relationship to the people in terms of being patient, Nd going through each point, point by point, and stabilizing mysef here through thouruly participating directly with schedule, and writing this point out specifically in relationship with the people daily, to assure I am here, and come to a stable point of being Ble to mNge and take self responsibility within relationship to the people, Nd assure that I fully take self responsibility and fully take self account for the reactions that I accept and allow to accur and Ccumulate within myself.



When I see myself in and as in the point of wanting to reach all the points at once, to protect myself within the position of stability, I stop. I breath here, and I let go of da though, each emotion, regardless of if its related t something truth or not, and bring it back here to self, and direct myself point by point, breath by breath, and walk through the discomfort point by point, breath by breath, here, accepting mysef a slide, and changing the relationship as life, int what's he's for all life.

When I see myself in and as the moment of back chat, Nd blaming the other personal fr what I've fully accepted and allowed within myself. I stop, I breath, untill I have let go of the point enough to be willing to change it, and then change tha one point of relationship t the people, t the point of actually caring for the,, and not loosing myself to be possessed by past relationships and reactions, and in fact making it better for not lay myself but equally for them, to assure that it is healthy, and that I am fully responsible fr what's thus best for myself, and for what's best for the people as myself, which by firstly walking through this point by eradicating the separation within myself thT I've Ccepted and allowed to accumulate to relating towards the people.

When I see mysef in and as trying t protect a stability point frm a past correction, I stop. I breath, and then, direct myself through this point in relationship to what I've corrected in the past, and thus see tht there is still openings for misdirection within myself, and thus, I commit myself to write myself out daily in regards to the people, and my environment, and when I find myself facing the points of emotions, I stop. I breath, and I let g of the point completely, including the point of expectation towards being stable, as if breathing t gain thT self interest point back. Then, I really in fact becme stable through walking through the point, Nd changing the point till I am here S breath, stable, equal to what's here.

When I see myself in and as trying to escape the point by not fully breathing back here. I stop immediately, I breath, and I isolate myself on a walk, or in the shower, or n my room, and continue breathing, letting to of each point and reaction in regards to the people, and when faced with a point of anxiety, and I then find that controlled enough stability, and I write, and when I become in a rush again, I breath, I walk, I isolate myself again. Thus within this, I commit myself to when in moments of losing what's here, follo is step directly in those moments, and let go of the point completely, regardless of what I've made real, untill I am here, stable, control of my self, and what I accept and allow as myself, in relation to the people, and when faced in Nxiety.

When I see myself n and as lazyness, to the fear of walking through the instability, and the emotions, and actually having t push through these emotions. I stop immediately, I look at what is here through breath when in those moments of wanting to give in/give up, and I go on the walk, or lay down, I let go of every point I've accepted and allowed myself t have over thought, to have Ccumulated, to have made real, and that relationship with process. I then accept myself as life, I accept myself fully as myself, and I change the point, I change in that very moment to stop the abuse practically, to sop the excuses, to stop myself with breath, and then stand, fully fr what's best for all life, and not allow mysef to be defined by the past, make excuses for the past, but to forget the past, and change the fucking issue that I know, and even understand well enough to this point to have the ability to be stable, to push through points, and understand well enough, that points require walking throu to eradicate and solve, and within this I commit myself to in fact continue walking through physical participation, through taking steps, and when specifically and separately focusing on this point with the people, focus on the extent of points I reach until I am here, stable, as breath, and I moved to the next point, untill I am here, as breath, self honest, equal in one within this world, within what I've accepted and allowed, and to thus, be the change I thus in fact want to see within myself and my relationships, and the Pete in these relationships.

Day 77 - approaching my participation with the fear of loss/self interest part 1

So within this post, I will be discussing my relationship with approaching any given situation in my existence, and how I have accepted and allowed myself to deminish myself, to create an incredible amount of compulsion, worry, self judgement, etc., from my approach to situations, and my participation within a situation, in all circumstances.

Now I remember when I was a child, in school or around my parents, that when I would participate in an expression of play, I would be told "no, stop doing that that way, you have to do it this way" or "stop laughing at the table, the proper way to eat at a table is this way and not by laughin at the table",  or "stop talking to the student next to you or you will be punished". Now the funny thing that came to be from this that brought me mind fucked, is that when I would laugh and they wouldn't mind me laughing, I then created this point of laughing as this image, this thing that I require going and thinking through before participating in laughing, because after all in random circumstances I would be punished. It seems allot of this occurred within my life to such an extent with my environment, that the impuls turned out in a way which I create compulsion within doing someing, and thus worry within activities, because I have accepted and allowed myself to be defined by these characterized definitions t where it creates his concious awareness as a majority within myself than just simply seeng what needs t be changed, and only becoming counter productive within the relationship for trying to fear losing that very relationship, lose the respect, the integrity, the care, the trustworthiness, the abilities within activities.

I will be redefining this point of how i approach all co dxisting relationships to a point of real, unconditional participation, and thus reach more in depth within sf/SCS in my next posts in regards to this over the next few days in relationship to my current points I have already faced daily, and t also word out points I find myself in this new building experience with relationships, and therefor generally utilize this relization point within myself and my relationships.




SFS/SCS coming soon

Day 76 - generalizing process with knowledge energy part 2

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize tha in order to practically stop this point of intent and control, requires coming back to what's here with breath, and to practically walk through each point within myself fully as self, and then changing each reaction practically as real time change.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus try to accumulate the point of trying to generalize knowledge to the point of potentially abusing others because I've accepted and allowed myself to not come back here and accept what's here as myself.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus protect the mind point with guilt of the point which I've Accepted and allowed within myself to cause or accumulate to this point in real time within myself, and not realizing tha in order to in fact change this and fully changing this as it is, that I require fully accepting what is here to ever get to the truth of what I've fully accepted and allowed myself here within my existence.

I forgive myself tha I've accepted and allowed myself to thus hold on to the point of staying mind fucked in order to not actually take practical self responsibility for the point of exploiting myself as knowledge, and thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself, to instead of being here first, and fully Accepting myself within that breath, I create a negative point to keep myself in the mind trance and then only create openings of counter productivity to keep myself in the intent I'm walking through to eradicate to change to what is here.

I forgive myself that I've thus accepted Nd allowed myself to categorize the point I'm walking through as this impossible point, simply by trying to protect the point within the realization, of expectation.

 I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not give up denial to what I've accepted and allowed within myself. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to therefor create the point of blaming others as a result to trying to verify the very existence I've allowed myself to become as the mind, in order to protect myself in this void of actually facing self forgiveness within my points, and just merely using my process to be a mind machine and keep relating mind polarity characters to my points, to prevent myself from actually eradicating the points, every mind machine.

 I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus create this polarity void of exploiting myself as knowledge, to not walk through the fear in fact, and in fact dare myself to walk throu conflict to stand up to change myself as a mind machine.

 I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus near the end of a point I face, that I create this idea that if I have this energized loudness or bluntness within my sf/SCS that I have changed the point in real time physical. Within this I commit myself to utilize my current points I've been facing, and thus actually stop the point of knowledge exploitation t control others as a void from actually walking real time change.

When I see myself in and as manipulating my process with a mind drive of changing, and not actually breathing here in real time physical, and thus actually letting go of the point fully and changing the point with not emotional manipulation. I breath untill I can in fact with confidence change the point as what's here, by stopping every single thought, through work, laying down, smoking a ciggerette, and once I can in fact relate myself through what's happening fit in front of my eyes, I then take the stand, and I change the point of abuse and ego within myself that I've accepted and allowed. Within this, when I see myself in and as kicking myself, or feeling guilty for e point, I breath again through the Same physical participation to directing myself back here, and take a stand again, untill I fully embrace the point, which within this, I commit mysef to practice this point fully regarded each time I'm about to write a point or walk through a point.

When I see myself in and as taking advantage of process due to the accumulation of not having came back here with breathing, and instead wanting to not give up the self interest and protecting that position further with manipulating my starting point t writing, or participating in process, I stop the participation within writing, and I go participate in the points of laying down, working, or smoking a ciggerette, untill I come back here, where I can fully write the point out without rushing e point, or holding back. Thus within this, I commit mysef to go have a ciggerette and practice e point of breathing, and then do alittle labor, and then lay down, Nd come back here to this writting.

When I see myself in and as the point holding off self responsibility through creating a negative spectrum to keep myself stationary within the point of fearing not bei appreciated or noticed for what I'm doing as process, and create the emotional points to stay in the intent of controlling there through knowledge energy and claiming having walked through the point fully, I breath here directly back to what I've accepted and allowed within and as myself as an ego, a manipulator of my own process, and I walk prior steps of physical participation and breathing untill I practically start actually changing myself and focusing indirectly taking self responsibili for what's best for myself and my environment rough actual walking, and not as a point of controlling, or gain, or self interest.

When I see myself in and as finding it 'too difficult' to walk throu an stems ive point which I've accepted and allowed within myself, I stop the negative point, walk through the physical participation processes, and then once I start directing myself to taking self responsibility, heather it be writting, or physical participation, or following a schedule, I directly focus on firstly what I've come back to self as here, and then taking a step by ste directive principle to changing myself within the extensive amount of abuse I've accepted and allowed within myself, and therefor when I see myself in and as coming back to the polarity point when facing a new point that causes some confusion on directing myself back here, I will take e physical participation direction to breathing back to here, and then continue with what I'm already doing daily physically, not adding or deminishing my participation, untill I have utilized the point within myself,mind then take another step to changing my relationship.

Wen I see myselfnt and as exploiting myself with a polarity and morality attachment to my sf/SCS, I walk through the physical participation point of breathing, and then take the process of seeing where I'm at within my self, and thus how I relate to what I've changed physically, and then practically build off of this foundation, and then practically write myself out, and keep with the point of physical participation and bringing mysef back here with breath.