I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create this tendency to become lazy after having been consistent for a moment, and then just deliberately come home from work, or finish another activity here at home, and just go on the Internet.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have this sort of apathy from confronting the points within myself.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I require staying consistent with points in order to practice towards a valid starting point of writing, thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to make the excuse that because I don't have the feelings and emotions at I used to drive myself with to write, and now. Don't fee them so much anymore, that that must just mean, well, I don't need to write lol, pretty stupid.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to wait till the last minute where Its nearly day light here, and nearly falling asleep after hours of waisting time on YouTube videos when I could've came home, took one of my breaks for 30 minutes, and then taken care of points that came up today.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not write out the points, and haven't been writting out the points simply because, I don't find it in relation to self interest at certain points to motivate, and thus saying "now I don't want to"
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to make the excuse that I've done "this and this" today, so that's "good enough", not realizing that I very well know the potential I can practice with my schedule to build understand and consistency with that potential to take self responsibility.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I've only been savoring characterized relationships that I've related to self responsibility, as ego, and thus simply making all kinds of excuses to not allow myself to practice with a new starting point of taking self responsibility and having consistency within self responsibility.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus not take the wide open chance to walk through the clearer points that I've found myself with less judgement, to thus build an understanding of what it means to consider what's best for all life, and thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to build this apethetic character as if its so cool that I'm just not doing anything because this is like everyone else, just letting thoughts sit there and cause accumulation within myself, thus I forgive myself thative accepted and allowed myself to not keep consistency to assure that I grow a point of allowing my physical direction to take hold, contrary to a misdirected mind fuck up.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not eliminate some factors of my compulsive points tha cause me to fall of schedule. Thus, I commit myself to focus on 3 points of compulsion, and eventually utilize these points over time within writing:
1: looking in the mirror to protect a position I accumulate, to increase the love and light beautiful definition I've placed towards myself/fear of being not beautiful/ugly. - I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to accumulate a reaction, to prevent myself frm breathing through the point, by checking myself out in the mirror when at home, to thus hope tha I look good for females and to beat males, and to stroke my pretty boy idea fulfillment and to thus relate this to the physical relationships t supress the points with a fake image.
I commit myself to wake up in the morning, go to the bathroom, and look myself in the mirror and state outloud one self forgiveness and self corrective statement about one attribute I recognize in myself as ugly, or beautiful, for each day, which will consist of (eye color/eyesin general, face, hair, arms, chest, abs, penis, legs, ass), which thus stating, because this being also a relationship with my insecurity with talking, and how I can find the points coinciding with this insecure image.
I commit myself to not look in the mirror for the rest of the day, untill before bed, and do the same about the same attribute.
2: Getting off work being tired, and just wanting to crash on theninternet and just forget about everything. - I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to relate work to this thing wherei can just make the excuse to myself to just not take any self direction, because I'm physically tired after work, thus i forgive myself stove accepted and allowed myself to relate writting as something that requires this physical energy, when writting a blog is just like watching a youtube video, and thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to simply suppress emotional attachments through self interest from images and pictures where I can fantasize and thusinevitably diminishing my physical real time participation, which this also applying to other moments in my day.
I commit myself to only go on Facebook in the morning to check messages and browse for 5 minutes, and only listen to music and follow what I've set up for necessary break times, and thus take one break time between physical participations on my schedule, and then one in the evening, and if working, have the one after work and getting cleaned and fed, and then go directly to blogging to effectively stay consistent within utilizing points, while still giving myself time to build patients and understanding the depiction between when I need to not the breaks and take self responsibility, s this being a cool step to build that ability and understanding.
3: driving to go get coffee, or drinking extensive coffee and then physically be rushing from the caffeine, and then my mind following that physical experience where I just want to get more highs in my mind. - I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myselfto drink more than a cup of coffee a day, knowing the consequences of how I can become unstable wi the amount of caffeine that causes me to just want to go multiple directions at one.
I commit myself to only have one coffee every morning break if chosen.
So, another point that seems to cause this lack of consistency, is joint what step to take after a fall, like masterbating from mind images and not following the 21 day commitment, then beating myself up to whatever extent for having had such intentions and desires and then just going into these habits of Internet, mirror, and coffee, or just lethargically picking up a guitar and feeling like shit and just not knowing what to do.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not soe myself down after the points of ejaculating and having fallen into the emotional release, to thus at least gain some ground to stand back up to go back into consistent self responsibility with my points that I allowed myself to fall with.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not utilize this point for when I do happen to find myself super tempted t just masturbate, or to watch pornography.
Thus for now, I commit myself to open up a new blog on utilizing my relationship with masturbation,.
Within this blog, I commit mysef to write out when in points of wanting to masturbate, this way, I can't make an excuse that I'm bar barred wi points and thus just absolutely need to release, because I can write on my masturbation blog, and that way even if I don't necessarily write for the rest ofthe day or have an unstable day, I can have better direction for walking through the very relationship of emotionally releasing and causing mis direction. I commit myself to study every Thursday desteni material in replacement to one break time, and then go in an isolated area, and experiment with caressing my body (completely naked), and then focus on most places I would consider sexually arousing to my mind, obviously my penis being the main bate of this, and so therefor focus on touching this are , and afterwards, write out on the masturbation blog, and the relationships of thouts I've accepted and allowed to relate to masturbstion and sex... (Further to be utilized in part 2 due to iPad errors)
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