A currently I have had a pretty hard hitting experience within my mind.
Ski was at work, and then everything was cool, came home, and had seen a familiar truck outside, and realized that it was the people who used to live here. I then just walked in, and said hi to the people, and then walked in, and settled in.
Now to of gointo detail to lay out certain emotions and only accumulating the point, I will basically say that I had a huge transition from stability to this point of fear, anxiety, and al sorts of emotions within myself, due to the situation with the people who are here.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myselfto fear being abusive, or being abused to the point of allowing the impulse create me as a abusive, from the memories of when I was accepting and allowing myself to be abusive from the impulse I interconnected within the coexistence of these people.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of the expectation when coming up to the point of anxiety and fear around the other person, and in relationship to who I used to accept and allow myself as.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow these memories get me to this intense point of second guessing myself, and going into this state of emotional instability and this evaporation of what's here within my co existence.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have created the expectation of having to be nice, of having to be supportive and welcoming, in fear of going back to the abuse that I've caused in the past, and this within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to try to approach this blog as protecting myself from the people, and not bringing it back t self, here. Thus, I commit myself to slow down, breath, and take a few drags of my ciggerette, breath, look,p and see what's here, and come back to the writing.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear having the level of integrity within the current reaction I'm experiencing now.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have related feelings and this position of Nd within myself as integrity, as a superior attribute than others. Tus within is I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to try to protect myself within integrity, as to dominate the other people under the reactin of abuse in the relationship of the people.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want to dictate myself with emotions, and go into the point of rush when I find a point/thisi current moment of anxiety, and go into the points of protecting a superior position through victimizing myself within the reaction, the fear Im currently experiencing within anxiety.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create blame towards the other person from the fear from the reactin of what I've accepted and allowed myself to experience with the people. Within this point I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not breath here, being it back to self, and change the point, change t relationship thT I've accepted and allowed myself to accumulate within my life, thus within this I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to realize that in order to in fact and practically prevent abuse towards another, and towards myself,is to write myself out, to follow physical participation, to walkthroughthe point of fear fully, breath by breath, point by point, to firstly change myself, and then from this point, taking step by step practical direction within my environment, within my relationships.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have created expectations towards past corrections to points, in fear of losing the care and integrity within what I live in and as that correction, and thus accumulating to this point of beng misdirected and accepting and allowing myself t be more submissive to when I face a reaction, when i Require breathing through a point, and thus within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be dictated by fears and emotions within my stability when walking my process, as a point of fearing losing stability, and thus giving u when I find myself unstable, and find myself becoming unstable, and thus allowing myself to not will myself t walk through the point because of wanting to not protect a self interest point, which is surviving as stable.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not come back fully here, and enjoying sharing this point and opening up this point within myself, and focusing on writing here, writing this point for actually supporting myself, and thus within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow this point of accumulation for not breathing, and letting go of the points that I'm trying to figure out with my mind, and not coming back here, to practically changing the reaction, point by point, breath by breath.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear walking through the point of instability, and thus within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear taking self responsibility, a really pushing physically through points.
I forgive mysef that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus define myself as lazyness, and to thus dictate myself with emotions from the very point, of not allowing mysef to practically walk through each emotion, but instead categorizing my emotions and what I require walking through, as this point of self victimization and not wanting to go into instability, and thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not be self honestly willing to walk throu the point of instability, and instead try to counter this fear with protecting a position of stability when correcting and walking
day to day, t not risk myself t dare to walk through every point, regardless f e responsibility
required,necessary.
When I see myself in and as relating myself to protecting a point of stability in relationship to anxiety, and thus currently to the people, I stop, I breath, and I continue untill I have let go of the point to apathetic extent of actually standing and changing the point of anxiety, of the reaction I face with the people, and when in relationship t my environment in general, and to general points of anxiety and moments of accepted and allowed instability.
When I see myself in and as trying to protect an expectation that I've accepted and allowed within myself, as to kee the comfortable feeling I've related to the point of stability. I stop, I breath, and I look and see where and what needs to change within the very moment of reaction, and frm this point d physical participation, or walk, or have. Ciggerette, and once I'm here, in fact walking through the point, step by step, breath by breath, letting go of the limitations, and pushing and walking through the point, regardless of the emotional experience, or the petty ego.
When I see myself n and as trying to protect this point of stability and responsibility in relationship to the people, and to my envirnement and points of anxiety. I stop, I breath. And I come back to here as self, stop the emotions, let go of the anxiety, and change the point practically p, point by point. Within this I commit mysef to bring every relationship within co existing to the people back to self, and to not give into the point of reactions, or accumulate tension unecessary from reactions.
When I see myself in and as trying to protect this point of the image of integrity, or accumulate myself to the point of having feared losing this image of stability, or this image of integrity, I stop, I breath, and I accept myself within what I've accepted and allowed within the past relationship to the people in terms of being patient, Nd going through each point, point by point, and stabilizing mysef here through thouruly participating directly with schedule, and writing this point out specifically in relationship with the people daily, to assure I am here, and come to a stable point of being Ble to mNge and take self responsibility within relationship to the people, Nd assure that I fully take self responsibility and fully take self account for the reactions that I accept and allow to accur and Ccumulate within myself.
When I see myself in and as in the point of wanting to reach all the points at once, to protect myself within the position of stability, I stop. I breath here, and I let go of da though, each emotion, regardless of if its related t something truth or not, and bring it back here to self, and direct myself point by point, breath by breath, and walk through the discomfort point by point, breath by breath, here, accepting mysef a slide, and changing the relationship as life, int what's he's for all life.
When I see myself in and as the moment of back chat, Nd blaming the other personal fr what I've fully accepted and allowed within myself. I stop, I breath, untill I have let go of the point enough to be willing to change it, and then change tha one point of relationship t the people, t the point of actually caring for the,, and not loosing myself to be possessed by past relationships and reactions, and in fact making it better for not lay myself but equally for them, to assure that it is healthy, and that I am fully responsible fr what's thus best for myself, and for what's best for the people as myself, which by firstly walking through this point by eradicating the separation within myself thT I've Ccepted and allowed to accumulate to relating towards the people.
When I see mysef in and as trying t protect a stability point frm a past correction, I stop. I breath, and then, direct myself through this point in relationship to what I've corrected in the past, and thus see tht there is still openings for misdirection within myself, and thus, I commit myself to write myself out daily in regards to the people, and my environment, and when I find myself facing the points of emotions, I stop. I breath, and I let g of the point completely, including the point of expectation towards being stable, as if breathing t gain thT self interest point back. Then, I really in fact becme stable through walking through the point, Nd changing the point till I am here S breath, stable, equal to what's here.
When I see myself in and as trying to escape the point by not fully breathing back here. I stop immediately, I breath, and I isolate myself on a walk, or in the shower, or n my room, and continue breathing, letting to of each point and reaction in regards to the people, and when faced with a point of anxiety, and I then find that controlled enough stability, and I write, and when I become in a rush again, I breath, I walk, I isolate myself again. Thus within this, I commit myself to when in moments of losing what's here, follo is step directly in those moments, and let go of the point completely, regardless of what I've made real, untill I am here, stable, control of my self, and what I accept and allow as myself, in relation to the people, and when faced in Nxiety.
When I see myself n and as lazyness, to the fear of walking through the instability, and the emotions, and actually having t push through these emotions. I stop immediately, I look at what is here through breath when in those moments of wanting to give in/give up, and I go on the walk, or lay down, I let go of every point I've accepted and allowed myself t have over thought, to have Ccumulated, to have made real, and that relationship with process. I then accept myself as life, I accept myself fully as myself, and I change the point, I change in that very moment to stop the abuse practically, to sop the excuses, to stop myself with breath, and then stand, fully fr what's best for all life, and not allow mysef to be defined by the past, make excuses for the past, but to forget the past, and change the fucking issue that I know, and even understand well enough to this point to have the ability to be stable, to push through points, and understand well enough, that points require walking throu to eradicate and solve, and within this I commit myself to in fact continue walking through physical participation, through taking steps, and when specifically and separately focusing on this point with the people, focus on the extent of points I reach until I am here, stable, as breath, and I moved to the next point, untill I am here, as breath, self honest, equal in one within this world, within what I've accepted and allowed, and to thus, be the change I thus in fact want to see within myself and my relationships, and the Pete in these relationships.
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