Day 67 - Reacting to friends part 2

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to become in this state of self conciousness when I'm sound friends I was around, to what ever extent I was around them.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that experience my relationships with other people at the dry starting point as the same way I did with friends in the past.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have become isolated after the relationship I experienced with the neighbor friend, in fear of resonating that ego on to another friendship and losing another friend, or even a partner. I commit myself to write out my relationship with this friend , within this I commit myself to investigate the most effective way of writting out myself in relationship to specific people.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to drive myself within my activities in the fear of not pleasing others, as feeling exploited and hated by past friends for what I expressed physically, or how I looked within that expression.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate within my physical participations, as a way of impressing others in my mind, as he fear  had with apart friends.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to build and misconstrue my relationships in changing as predetermined to fit the patterns with friends.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus limit myself as expression and thusincluding my process in fear that what Im applying it within changing myself isn't good, isn't valid, in fear of being told down on, that I'm stupid, at I'm not good enough, which I experienced plenty of times with friends.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus feel the need to be close to others, as this way of making sure they are around to watch and be impressed with what I'm doing, as I noticed when my friend came over tonight to Walton his girlfriend, and hoping he was around t be impressed with whatever I could find,like exercising.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to self sabotage myself in general, with my inner fears and memories, by acting as getting attention from a close friend to make me feel better.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to expect this within my writings, and thus feel the need to have comfort from another person or from a destonian who will read my blog, and thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to relate the old friend relationship pattern to my writting, and thus I forgive myself to exploit my writting, stead of writting for supporting another.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus not realize that I've related myself to money with friends, as survival, like, when I am work on something, it has always been for money, and so I'm inevitablyless effective, because I always find myself beating myself up, or, I'm the loser within the money system, and therefor Snce I've allowed myself to relate friends to physical participation, I am becoming ese effective, for attaching the loser memories to what I'm expressing.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus relate pre determination to this blog, n relation to self interest, from the accumulation of the reaction of the friend n Facebook.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus want to rush through this to just feel like I will impress another for what I've written, from the starting pont of pre determination within writting from the friendship relationship.

I commit myself to currently slow down in breath.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus create self interest within physical participation, and get so caught up with the mind relationship of losing these expressions, as I fear losing the other person I'm around, and thus I forgive myself hat I've accepted and allowed myself to supress my fears with manipulating my process into this pont of bei ale to keep and verify my friendship relationship.

I forgive myself thative accepted and allowed myself to focus on self interest within writting here, as suppressing the friendship relationship I faced a moment ago.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus not focus on applying myself t my words as here, but instead trying to verify is friendship relationship with writing.

I commit myself redefine myself, and my relationships apart from the friendship relationship.

I commit myself to thus take this step fom participating in money competition.

I commit myself to thus start writting out my relationship to specific friends in the past, which. Seem to have intense reactions of fear from.

I commit myself to focus on specific people on a particular day every week, and implement this within my schedule.

When I find myself in reaction to a friendship relationship, I will breath, I will see how I am in relationship t the physical relationship, how I move as physical in contrary to impressing another human being in my mind, and then when in that moment stabilized, forgive myself for the point through out loud statements, or writting the statement.