When and as I see myself going into anger and resentment towards my father, and into suppressive mechanisms, to where I want to just hide, or pretend like it's not there, I stop, I breath, and I direct the point through applying one replacement point each week, to where I replace the suppression point, into a directive, and applicable point. Within this, I commit myself to replace the suppressive point from the point of fear of "he is coming in my room to yell at me or attack me emotionally in some way", to applying this self forgiveness statement, which I will write down in my notes on my phone - "I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear my dad coming to yell at me or attack me emotionally when I hear him potentially coming to my bedroom, to the point that I get a shockwave in my chest, and tense up, and want to yell and attack him back from what I reacted in fear of him attacking me".
I commit myself to apply this self forgiveness statement each time my father comes back to my room, or I hear him coming back to my room.
I commit myself to unlock one point each day, as to how I try to please other people, in relationship to the fear that something is wrong with me, and to always investigate how this relates to me resenting my father, and becoming angry every time I have the experience of trying to please other people out of thinking negatively about myself. Within this, I see and realize that this will allow myself to discover who I truly am as self expression, in talking to others, in talking to my father, and in sharing with others, and being able to experience and be confident within myself without depending on the reassurance of other people.
When and as I see myself limiting myself, in blaming my father, or father figures for how I experience myself, and what I've accepted and allowed myself to become, is top, and I breath, and I instead, direct that emotion, through applying self responsibility to change myself, and to learning how to enjoy that point, without limiting myself under the relationship I've created to blaming my father within my experience of anger and resentment.
I commit myself to practice facing this point, and to take self responsibility in remaining stable and focused, within the understanding, that is can't face the entire embodiment of this point, but can rather create a system of direction within myself, through applying step by step tools, to face this point of anger and resentment, and hiding from it, in relationship to my father, and father figures. Thus within this, when and as I see myself becoming overwhelmed, while participating in self responsibilities, and being around other people, I stop, I breath, and I direct myself with finding a moment to forgive myself for the experience, until it's released, and within this, applying this as much as possible, until I can direct myself within my responsibilities more consistently and effectively.
I commit myself to direct myself in stability towards male figures in my life, and to slowly investigate my relationship with them, and to apply practical, and commonsensical respect, and application to communicating with them, in order to prevent abusive communication, and to build a supportive relationship with male figures.
I commit myself to breath, and remain here, and take self responsibility, without excuses, and without fears to define who I am.
I commit myself to discover myself in relationship to my father, and make figures, within this pattern of "hope,then relationship, then resentment" and to log this point in my notes.
I commit myself to apply myself to one point per week, of where I have defined my relationship to process, people, and myself, support systems, etc. as stable, that is really just an emotional attachment to suppressing a fear. Within this, I commit myself to open up the fear of "wanting people to like my shares and posts on Facebook", and to apply self forgiveness and self corrective statements to this fear, and how I've limited myself to be consistent within this world, and within myself. I will write this in my notes.
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