Day 137 - fear being alone within my fears

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear being alone within my fears.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear experiencing turmoil within myself, and then not being able to direct that inner turmoil.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be defined by inner turmoil, and fear, to where I expect myself to be comforted by other people.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have anger and resentment within myself, to where I've covered it up for so long, to the point that I've created a consequence of facing inner turmoil as resentment and anger, and allowing that turmoil to dictate how I experience myself.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge myself within the consequence of my thoughts.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to escelate the thoughts and emotions through blaming my environment, and blaming where I'm at, and how I feel around that environment.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to hold back from self forgiveness, because I've always expected myself to suppress these emotional experiences, through the very pattern of wanting to be safe around others/use others as an energetic source, to not face myself here, and see the problem for myself.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge myself within having had suppressive feelings and actions within myself, to where I have accepted and allowed myself to create the experience of resentment and anger within myself more and more.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to pretend to be happy, when facing these points, as a way to not face them, and to instead only verify the fears of facing resentment and anger more and more.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus not face resentment and anger.

When and as I see myself going into emotional turmoil, I stop, I breath, and I direct the point with what's here, and I bring myself back to self application by forgiving all of the fears of facing myself, and I practically face myself.

I commit myself to face myself in regards to resentment and anger.