I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I am trying to protect myself within breathing, that I am not actually breathing, but protecting a point of self interest within myself that I've related to breathing in relationship to others in terms of breathing to do it as a point of surviving within the system. Thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not stand one and equal with myself within my process in itself, and thus abstract from the point of my process, which is to bring about a world which is best for all life, and thus notin fact standing equal t others as well within desteni and outside of the desteni group.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not let go of the points within myself, in fear that I am going to lose within survival of that reaction, not seeing and realizing that I have therefor created simply a reaction towards that reaction, and where I tried to justify, self sabotage myself. Within this I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to realize that a point requires walking throu here in the physical, and that any loose ends or back chat happening to try to sort out the point within my mind, with my mind is only counter productive, and will thus accumulate to procrastinating the moment where I can stop and start again with fixing the point within and as breathing here within cross reference to the tools of bringing it back to self, and with the tools I've personally applied as to bringing it back to schedule, and participating within what the schedule says to physically guide myself within each point.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus not be patient I thin a point of reaction, but try to allow that reaction to react to the reaction, and then want to act in this sense of figuring it out in my mind, and not simply taking it back to what needs to get worked with here, and then as I practically stabilize myself within that point with breathing, then utilizing it practically when I have brought myself back here through for example: focus on my work, write in my back chat diary, smoke a ciggerette, support myself with playing guitar, self forgiveness and correcting myself within misdirection SLOWLY. Within this I forgive mysef that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that it really is as simple as walking through a point, and tha when having a reaction or a fall, that that is the very moment to simply take it as its exposed oppurtunity to walk through the point within the capability to do so in that moment of breath, and that it will take a certain amount of time to get it, and thus its ok if I am practically struggling with the reaction, and to simply take it slowly.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus instead of applying tools when n such reactions, that I will deliberately overwehlm myself and self sabotage myself t the point of misdirection within myself, which is where I will have a reaction, and then instead of allowing myself to breath and simply see it as its nature, and allowing myself to remain here where I can practically utilize the point, or walk through the hysical participation points, I instead generate the want to supress the point, and not simply letting go of it. Within this I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to realize, that letting go of a point, is letting go of my very concious relationship, by simply understanding that that point is not that which is best for all, and therefor it obviously isn't something that is effective or can be worked with within myself, thus when having reactions or falls or facing a point, I either will allow myself to work with the physical to bring myself to a point of stability to where I will utilize the point, or I accept and allow the back chat and the self sabotage continue to accumulate within myself as to protect the point.
I forgive myself that I've thus accepted and allowed myself to not realize that practical point of process, which is taking each point as itself, and not rushing to another point, and thus within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to relate money to my process, and t thus not stand one and equal as a group with desteni, and therefor take on each point within equal sencirity, and thus within this in fact having an automated sense of approaching each point simply within that point, and not just scattering my mind into it and fucking myself in thought.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not be self honest with the fact that the points will either be walked through, or isn't. Meaning, either I am herewith the physical, willing to be here with the physical, or else it is a mind deceit point within myself to supress or protect seeing within myself.
I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed yself to realize that moving in the physical is as simple as itself, and that it is practically a guideline for me here, and that its clearly right in front of me and is me, and that resistance is simply a reaction to the reaction to protect its unrealistic bullshit. For example: I have a reaction, and then the emotion will of course be intense when it is something I haven't seen before, and then when I have been breathing consistently, and I see someone within myself that I didn't expect, I try to protect the point within its concious design. Thus within this, I commit myself to redefine confronting myself, or applyi mysef to appoint as simply being here within breath as myself here, and directing that point practically untill I am one and equal as myself again.
Self corrective statements to follow in part 3..
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