Day 89 - blame, and wanting to take advantage of others part 1

So I will experience myself in relationship to others within my back chat within the point of blaming them for shit that I see those individuals do. I then will eventually want to take advantage of these people through having made myself in my mind better than them, or more 'pure' than them, and then use what I had created them as 'bad', and then create this desire of this relationship where I will want to help them, of course in relationship to the back chat build up where I had blamed them, and place myself on this pedal stool against them. Within this I am thus only intending on taking advantage of these people, and where they will listen to me, or where I want to basically place myself in some helping position or teacher position, where I can therefor use them under the control of what I fear within myself being exposed.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want to take advantage of specific people I communicate with, or have had relationships with in my mind, and thus use this back chat system I've created towards them, as to use them under my own self interest, in relationship to my process, and where I try to exploit the information and process I've walked through within myself to control others.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus deliberately compromise others process through compromising my own process, and thus creating this void from myself, and only doing what is best for my own self interest, and protecting my own self interest within my points.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to make the excuse tht because I've walked so much or what ever aspect of my points, that I can just go out and speak out knowledge to others, not seeing and realizing that Im merely exploiting others and my own expression within what is best for all life, to in fact cover up my shit that I accepted and allowed to create a formation within my mind to not have stood u in the moments where had fallen and not corrected the fall, but instead tried to protect myself within the fall, and thus settle for the abuse I've caused, and potentially caused.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to intend on manipulating others to see a fake face, where I thus have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate others, and to create a fake face within my posts on Facebook, or how I behave at work or at home, as to not walk through the points in real time where I had been faced with my actual nature, and instead of having breathed through and walked through that nature, and the actual intent I have towards others, having instead layered another dimension and compounded further personalities, and thus creating this point of manipulation and exploitation within my process and others process.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to make the justification when in these moments of facing myself, and the harsh nature of myself, that I can cause attacks and blame towards others because they are the problem, not seeing and realizing that I am merely accepted and allowing myself to be willing to abuse life in itself and terrorize life and attack life to not face my own inner evil, and allowing myself to fuck with life and to cause consequences in my environment within the very intent to actual receive an energetic positive feeling from causing that destruction in others, and allowing myself to actually settle for my shit, to settle for the abuse within myself

Further self forgiveness in part 2