Day 105 - fearing indecisiveness, or inadequacy

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear that how I structure my time in communication, exercising, or music that it is in an indecisive manner or in fear that I am inadequate within how I structure myself within such participations.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to think that I won't progress 'as good' or be as effective within how I structure myself within communication, exercising, music, etc.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to compare myself or judge myself to others, as a void for not being willing to fully commit to working with what I have, what I have structured for myself, and what I can possibly do within that structured time.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus categorize myself in these comparisons and judgements as either a well structured personality, or a indecisive personality. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create competition in fear that I am indecisive within how I structure my time in communication, exercising, music, etc.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to become in stress over whether I'm well structured, or stress over whether how I structure myself in time will be effective 'enough'. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to place resource value on communication, music, and exercising, as if I'm going to lose these participations, or lose confirmation for being able to participate.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that it takes physical movement and practically what I have here, in order to see and experiment, experience what works within communication, exercising, and music. Etc.

When and as I see myself generating fear of indecisiveness within how I structure my time in activities, I stop, I breath, and I practically see what I have to work with, how well I can approach these participations, and practically work with that, and then continue with natural practice and experimenting.

I see and realize that I will be as effective as I can be, which is enough to work with, and that fear is just to want more in the mind, and not be willing to work with what's here, Thus within this understanding that what 'could' be is completely irrelevant than what I can manage here.

When and as I see myself creating images of others as inferior or superior within the fear of being indecisive, I stop, I breath, and I stand one and equal to myself, accepting what I have to work with,and thus not placing judgements or categorizing myself or others.

 I see and realize that I have created this dictatorship of allowing myself to be placed as less value than these participations, thus within this I see and realize that I am equal to these participations, and that they are simply there to support myself as life, as I am there to use these things, and participate.

I commit myself to thus have the starting point of these activities be as physical support, and to always breath, to see how what works, and how these relationships function through further experiencing and investigating myself in relationship to them.