Day 108 - fearing failure

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear failure, to fear not being able to survive in a monetary system within my own idea of what I perceive as winning.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to make it through certain activities within my life, within the idea that I'm not good enough, or won't be able to make it to this superior extent.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have this predetermined notion of 'where I will be' and then having the fear of not reaching that expectation. Within his, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have judged myself to where I placed myself on this higher point as suppression of the fear of not doing well.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to become demotivated out of allowing these expectations weigh myself down when I see that it takes time to get good at what I'm participating in.
Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not use what I can here as physical support to practically enjoy myself.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus hold onto this idea that I have to be more than others, where I want to have this competition/survival.

When and as I see myself in the fear for failure at something, or continue with this trance of stress, I stop, I breath, and I deconstruct what exactly I'm fearing, and why I have created the idea of wanting to win.

When and as I see myself judging myself as 'not good enough' out of having placed myself in a position of survival, I stop, I breath, and I let go of the money relationship, come back to what is relevant as support, and then state self forgiveness on what I have judged myself, or compare pd myself with.

I see and realize that having this image of fantasy is only the opposite of the fear of failure, within this, I commit myself to deconstruct my usual fantasies and ideas of what I 'will be'.

When and as I see myself having the experience of laziness, or of not wanting to continue in participation, I stop, I breath, and I deconstruct from the point of what I had used as energy to motivate me before, and I forgive the point p/idea which I use as positivity.

I see and realize that wanting to be better than another being for self interest is only a reflection of fearing of losing within my own idea of survival. Thus, I commit myself to disclose this separation that I have within my life of 'not being good enough' or 'losing' at.