I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear how I look, fear how my health will effect how I look, to the point of where I act compulsively towards my health, and towards my relationship to the way I look - constantly checking body fat %constantly looking in the mirror, exercising too much, or exercising when my body is under too much stress to begin with.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to relate my body image to health, vis versa, to where I have the expectation, that because I exercise, or diet a certain way, that my body will apparently just change within my convenience of what I accept and allow as the expectation of "how my body needs to look".
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus want to manipulate my body in extremes, to where I will cut my calorie intake way to low and exercise way to much, or where I will over eat just to rapidly gain muscle, with the consequence of gaining fat, etc. within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize how unhealthy and unsupportive it is, for me to put my body under extremes just to get a satisfactory result of appearance.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to initially judge myself, that "I'm not good enough unless I have a lower body fat %, or unless I have more muscle mass", and then within this, going towards these extremes that I put my body through. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be dictated by fear, to the point where I am abusing my body within doing extremes.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize, that with moderate exercise, healthy diet, and enough sleep, and supporting myself to reduce stress levels, that I can allow my body to go through stresses, but understanding within this that my body will eventually correct itself, and within taking care of it generally, and as best as I can, that it will stay healthy, and functional.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to define healthy, and functional, as "my abs and frame needs to be defined, and I need to have bigger muscles, I need to focus on how my body looks". Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself, to use health, as an excuse to feed these energies of self consciousness, of insecurities that have no relevance to actual health.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself, to not realize that by relating these insecurities, and ideas to health, actually only puts stress on my body, and impedes me from perceiving health in a much more practical and supportive sense, and thus actually contradicting being healthy, by accepting and allowing myself to participate in an unhealthy relationship within myself towards my body.
When and as I see myself behaving compulsively, and constantly checking myself in fear of how I look, I stop, I breath, and I consider who I am within what's here, how I relate to my body, and what exact points led me to being fixated by this image I've related towards my body. Within this, I commit myself to only look in the mirror morning and night, to decrease my exercise regiment intensity, and to stop checking measurements, which essentially are useless towards any aspect of taking care of myself, unless it was absolutely necessary.
I see and realize that exercise, eating properly, and taking care of myself, is realistically as far as I need to be concerned, and that the expectation of how my body will react to that, is simply me trying to control my own body within my mind, simply out of wanting to look a certain way. Within this, I thus commit myself to confront all points of when I expect myself to look a certain way, or where I want to act in extreme ways to manipulate my body figure. Within this, I commit myself to intake proper and stable nutrition, to get plenty of sleep, to focus on other things that are relevant within that moment, and to generally take care of my physical health when it is realistically relevant.
I commit myself to stop participating in extremes, or to where I'm deliberately manipulating my body just to fulfill my self interest in looking a certain way, and to only participate in things like fasting, cutting, bulking, when my body realistically needs the rapid change, but currently, seeing that there's absolutely no reason for it with the fact that my body is just fine and simply needs a consistent healthy regiment.
When and as I see myself going into insecurities of myself, that it need to look a certain way, I stop, I breath, and I walk through the points of why I've come to the preconception that I'm not good enough unless I have a certain amount of fat, or muscle mass, and deconstruct the memories in which relate to this obsession with wanting to look a certain way.
I commit myself to let go of the need for control over every little detail of my body, and to start building a relationship, where I can naturally trust my body, and support that trust by practically taking care of my body.
I commit myself to redefine health, as a practical point, and within this, investigating the preconceptions I've accepted and allowed towards health, and as well as investigating insecurities that I've related to health.
I commit myself to equally build a healthy relationship within myself, in relationship towards my physical body, while equally taking care of my physical body through healthy eating, exercise, sleeping, and reducing stress levels.
No comments:
Post a Comment