I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not 'want' to take self responsibility when having a 'weight off my shoulders'. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to go into the point of laziness, when creating the experience that "I just want to chill right now, I just want to do what is fun" within not seeing and realizing that this convenience is merely a pattern to then, when faced with conflict, I go into negative reaction within my circumstances.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus see that this experience is a "up" experience point. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not have taken into consideration of the fact of what I had realized when having had faced it within that moment, but instead taken advantage of addictions and of what I wanted to feed off of to where I had thus gone into the manipulative patterns of "ok, I'm in the clear" within this, not seeing and realizing that this is simply what I accepted and allowed myself to use within and as my mind to not face myself within the moment I had the chance to.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize, that whatever experience I have, that it isn't real, and that any experience of whether high or low, is always the point of separating myself from what's HERE. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to make the excuse to protect my convenience, that "It's just my freedom of expression" when not seeing and realizing, or considering exactly what it is that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate as something real.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus go into the pattern, of wanting to experience this high, and then when it is disproved, go into self sabotage, go into guilt, go into this self manipulation to where I simply protect the very pattern that exists within myself. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to therefor not see and realize, that I have fed the point of experience within highs of myself, within feeding happy clappy experiences when not seeing and realizing that this is the same system demon within. The same pattern of abuse, simply the other side of the coin.
I forgive myself that I've thus not accepted and allowed myself to fully face the full polarities of the ego patterns within and as myself. Thus within this, I see and realize that feeding the high polarity is the very point of not pushing through facing the entire spectrum of the patterns. Within this, I thus forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to go into suppressing the consequences within myself.
I commit myself to thus write this finish writing myself out from the points I had finished writing in the last blog.
I see and realize, that when I verify experience as the effective point, that I am in fact using it as an excuse to not realistically face the consequence in which that experience exists. Within this, I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to realize, that the experience/reaction, is merely the point in which I've accepted and allowed to keep myself trapped within the consequence in which relates to the experience having been accepted and allowed within myself.
I see and realize, that 'falling' for feeling, can always practically be corrected within the moment I see myself not being supportive or focusing on being most supportive for what is here. Within this, I commit myself to apply this practical principle to what I actually experience within my environment, within seeing the simple point that feeling and experience is not a cool point of participating within, and that it is only a way to prevent myself from actually standing up within within self responsibility.
I commit myself to actually apply these points towards what I've accepted and allowed myself to define as within experience to my environment, and thus actually start walking through specific detailed points in which I now know how to apply these principles to my environment.
I see and realize that accepting and allowing any point or emotion loose within myself, that I will inevitably react more intensely and be more Unstable within my environment, and towards my relationships in which I've accepted and allowed.
I see and realize that what ever relationship or opening of not wanting to take self responsibility, and through creating these voids of "I'm better than them" or of blaming others to not see myself within practically walking experiences, that it is simply a way to attempt to get away with being here within breath, to being here within and as my requirement to taking self responsibility. Within this, I commit myself to thus continue writting, to continue deconstructing relationships, and to find out where I have accepted and allowed myself to be the center of what I accept and allow within my circumstances.
I see and realize that when I do not face a point, that when I react, that it am the point and reason within that reaction, and the cause of reacting to that relationship.
I commit myself to cross reference with what to avoid when going into excuses not to take self responsibility, and within this, I commit myself to further face points introspectively, within allowing this through breathing, supporting what's here, and knowing what's not supportive and what is by practically not feeding feeling.
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