I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself, to not realize, that any opening of laziness, that when I accept and allow reactions of laziness to exist within myself, that I am in fact implying to myself, that I basically would let any circumstance become an abuse consequence within my reality. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have created multiple personalities in which I've accepted and allowed myself to use which builds the relationship of laziness. Within this, I forgive myself that I've thus not accepted and allowed myself to realize, that laziness, is simply my own preprogrammed definition of laziness, which in itself is an acceptance and allowance of prolonging my willingness to stand up for what I've accepted and allowed as abuse, and thus inevitably, create an outflow of consequence within not standing up for my consequence of preprogramming.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that, any moment I go into a void, or any moment I go into wanting to eat as suppression, or any behavior, or any movement or act in which I've accepted and allowed myself to use as suppression to protect myself from facing myself and my reality, that this is laziness.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to use self sabotage, to use blame to use anger, to use rage, to use extreme points of the mind, just to not drop the bullshit act, and face the consequence I've accepted and allowed within my past, and thus within what is here as myself.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize, that within any moment, within any time of day, regardless if it is confusing for a moment, that if I push myself as hard as I can, breath as much as I can, stop and see what's most supportive within my environment, that I am perfectly capable of supporting my environment, and that there is no excuse that can prevent me from changing myself within according to my environment that would best support it.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not fully realize, that I know what is most supportive, and that it doesn't matter what the feeling is that I experience, because if I actually act towards what is best for myself and other human beings, other life, the physical existence, that it will counter act with supporting me to stopping the bullshit excuses, to stopping what isn't real. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to polarize 'bullshit excuses' as something negative, to where I've accepted and allowed myself to relate self judgements to what I know is unsupportive, just as a way to not actually take self responsibility for my reality, when clearly it's THE only way that is effective.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to make the excuse that "it's too much" when not seeing and realizing, that I'm implying that I will abuse life, just because "I don't feel like taking self responsibility" not seeing and realizing, that buying into the very feeling, is only a way to trick myself into a catastrophe. Thus, like a real catastrophe in the world, I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to realize, that by not fully engaging my time and energy into making sure that I prevent as little unsupportive consequences as possible, and fully focusing myself towards what I'm most possibly capable of supporting within my environment, that I will inevitably face the consequence of abuse within my circumstances, that I'm just as much responsible for the atrocities in the world as much as the people who directly create them. Within this, I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize, that I am as much of an abused to the extent of which the nature I accept and allow to exist within myself. Within this, I forgive myself that I've thus accepted and allowed myself to allow really fucked up intentions loose within myself, when going into the reaction of "laziness".
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow abusive patterns and instability occur when going into laziness, and then when facing those consequences, blaming others and attacking others, for the fucking thing that I didn't allow myself to fix or walk through when I had the perfect capability of doing so. Within this, I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize, that by indirectly solving my abusive patterns, that I am directly accepting and allowing those abusive patterns as myself, and thus within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have accumulated such irresponsibility and despite to create the consequence of having outrageous anger towards others, to the point that I'm currently having to face a specific "demon". So therefor within this, I see and realize that the "demon" is practically there as a consequence of having deliberately not stood up for myself within each point I had faced in the past, however, understanding that I perfectly have every bit of physical capability to walk through each relationship in which I've accepted and allowed myself to have attached this "demon" to.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize, that I require facing myself within what I KNOW the physical is showing me, regardless if there's a "demon" at stake or not, because if anything, every thought, every point of separation is as much of a demon as any other, in terms of it being the same foundation of separating myself, from what I KNOW is abusive when doing so.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of facing myself, in terms of being afraid to let go of fears, to let go of that which is irrelevant to what is supportive for my environment - money, time, activities and behaviors I've related to money and time. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the relationship of definitions, not seeing and realizing, that these very definitions these very moments in where I can refuse, or at least acknowledge these definitions, is the only way I will in fact see fully what it means to live, and to what it means and understanding how actually living here operates. Within this, I thus forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to realize, that any moment of reaction, is inevitably a definition, in which following definitions, or further following a definition that I simply might have not been previously aware of before, is going to create a consequence within my process, regardless if I'm aware of it or not.
I forgive myself that I've thus accepted and allowed myself to hold on to certain definitions that I've related to my process, to where, I have a preconception/convenient preprogrammed behavior in relationship to my process, and then just blindly acting on those points, not seeing and realizing that, every detail of my process, every trial and error in which requires going through to assure that I progress within my process, is crucial to breaking limitations and to breaking egos in which have no-relevance to walking my process. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize, that I'm always walking my process, and that simply any point of mistake, or unsupportive point, practically needs to be eradicated in order to support what's best for all life, and thus within this, I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to fully apply everything in which I state within myself as self honest and self forgiveness.
Part 2 will be released with self corrective statements.
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