I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fall into self judgement, to fall into blame, to fall Into indecisiveness deliberately and intentionally, as a way of not 'wanting' to take self responsibility for the point I was facing. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to no stand up within retrying fully, or to fully acknowledge what the point is that I've accepted and allowed to dictate me from expressing myself within walking through it.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to verify feeling as real, from the intent that I 'can't do It, it's too much'. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to react to my points, instead of practically breathing and finding out what is the most supportive way to walking through it. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have made the excuse that "the feelings just seem too real" not seeing and realizing the consequence within having gone into feeding the feelings, in which within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to imply to myself, that I am weaker than what I am experiencing. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to justify feeling, within the very experience of it, as if I'm somehow incapable of walking and standing up for the point of what's best for all life within that moment of experience.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus dictate my life through feelings, and dictate my principles with money, with what 'feels good' not seeing and realizing that wanting to feed desires, is simply my own acceptance and allowance of defining myself as inadequate. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus see where I have fallen, but not actually taking the effort to walk back to get through patterns of feeling and patterns of enslavement.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus not see and realize, that when I go into points of accepted and allowing myself to become further inadequate to supporting myself, that I will inevitably go into an intense spectrum of instability, which includes blaming others, which includes thus blaming myself, and generally self inflicted points that I've accepted and allowed to define myself as who I am internally.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge myself when I have accepted and allowed myself to place myself within inadequacy.
Within this, I thus commit myself to write out commitments to the last post -
I see and realize, that accepting and allowing any moment of abuse, or any moment of prolonging myself from supporting myself, that I am ALWAYS the one who is implying to myself that I am not willing to support myself or my environment. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize, that feeling in itself is a point that requires being dissected fairly carefully, and that is something that needs to be extensively prevented from furthering when seeing just a small bit of feeling exist within myself. Within this, I commit myself to dissect every area of "misunderstanding" within and as myself within cross referencing to previous posts, and also by following a consistent schedule in which best supports myself to pointing out each detail of myself that I can eradicate in order to fully learn how to support myself within my environment, and also within my process.
When and as I see myself going into major voids, or multiple voids within my environment, I stop, I breath, and I immediately slow myself down to the point of where I can see what I've accepted and allowed to use as addiction, or as a physical excuse to not fully walk through points that I require facing NOW. Within this I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to push through these consistent addictions, by pointing out the details within myself in which lead me to acting on these addictions. Within this, I commit myself to thus firstly slow down, and take my objective one step at a time, within the deliberate consideration of what would be ACTUALLY supportive within that moment. Within this, I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to see or realize, that the point of trying to feed my mind, is from the act of feeding myself within physical addictions - eating, driving, masturbating, playing music, watching movies, etc. thus within this, I commit myself to ONLY participate within these activities, by utilizing myself inherently as to why I'm playing music, why I'm eating, why I'm watching movies or playing a video game. Within this, I see and realize that I can not fuck around and just let these points loose to where I end up entertaining thoughts, and to where I verify thought patterns through eating, through playing a game, playing music etc. thus within this, when and as I see myself going into a routine of conveniently participating within these activities, I stop, I breath, and I ACTUALLY consider what I need to be doing here/NOW, within the context of actually considering every single consequence and outcome will occur within what I'm doing, within this slowing down, taking a possible break, and considering my consequences within what I am doing.
I see and realize, that any point of anger, any point of rage that I experience towards others, towards myself, is an indication that I'm fucking around, that I am not fucking doing what needs to be done HERE. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to get an ego when telling myself what I need to do, within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus state these self commitments and self forgiveness statements within the starting intent that "others will see me be all glorious and take self responsibility. Thus within this, I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to be specific within the details behind "bullshit act". Win this, I commit myself to make another blog that will deconstruct certain aspects of acts that I use to impede myself from stopping unnecessary and unacceptable participations in which are potentially dangerous and not cool to face if not stopping them.
I see and realize the pure capability that exists within myself inherently. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to define these personalities that I use to feed laziness, as a definition of inherence, not seeing and realizing that when trying to protect these definitions, that if am merely accepting and allowing myself to feed something that clearly I am not, and thus clearly what I am not supposed to be in order to in fact be supportive within and as existence as life and in what's best for all life around me. Within this, I commit myself to break points of self definitions that I've used as voids from not reaching my full capability, in which that full capability being the Essenes of who I actually am within this physical reality, and thus I commit myself to always use the physical, as a support system to showing myself who I actually am here.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create an ego within supporting life. Where I go into self righteousness within my statements, claiming that "I will support life" not seeing and realizing that within this statement, I am not actually breaking down points within myself that need to be faced in which in fact supports life within actually applying the statement - "I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not fully realize, that I know what is most supportive, and that it doesn't matter what the feeling is that I experience, because if I actually act towards what is best for myself and other human beings, other life". Within this, I commit myself to actually start applying myself within blogs and blogs as to what the actual points are within myself that I require walking through, and understanding within this that it really doesn't take great effort to know when and when I'm not being supportive. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that by constantly trying to point out the general principles of equality, is only a void from actually walking my process to REALLY understand these simple principles. Thus within this, I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to fully walk through my process as actually experiencing what I have accepted and allowed as abuse, and what it actually means to live principles of equality. Within this, I see and realize, that sometimes in situations, I'm just going to have to face them without a scape goat of knowledge, in order to get what I'm doing, in order to get what I've accepted and allowed, and in order to get the point of taking self responsibility for real. Within this, I commit myself to thus stop using knowledge, to stop using intellect within my process, and to actually see what will happen if you put me under a few circumstances that show me who I've accepted and allowed myself to become, and learn THEN what these principles I boast about actually mean. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to boast principles, to speak out when I have not even walked through experiences to where I've hardly if ever applied these principles. Within this, I see and realize the extent in which I have decided myself in using an ego of "I'm standing for life" dictate my capability to practically walk through points within my life. Within this, I commit myself to expose all egos and all voices and persons I've attached to myself to make myself feel better about the abuse/rage/desires/emotions/consequences. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to make excuses to these consequences, and have sugar coated them within the ego of "look at me I stand for life" within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fuck with other beings and fuck with my own head within the pure fucking intent and excuse that "I'm better than them, I'm better than the other destonians, I'm a fucking god to them". Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus use my own self fulfillment as an excuse, because of this ego of "I'm better than them, they don't fucking know anything as well as I do". Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to hold back self responsibility to the real extent of my abuse, through using this ego of "being better than life/destonians" as a point in my head to thus go into the blame, go into the procrastination from seeing myself as to what I've really fucking accepted and allowed within myself.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to think that "I'm a good person" within using is ego "fuck them I'm better than them" as a way to deceive myself from walking equally together with life, and with therefor destonains. Within this, I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to realize that this is the reason I can't seem to walk through points clearly, because of the excuse that "I'm better than them why the fuck should I care". Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to hold shy to exposing this within facing points NOW, to show exactly what I have done, and actually face these points within knowing what I've done, and within living up to the consequences. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to approach facing this point within the personality of "I'm an asshole". Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to face myself within the intent of exploiting myself deliberately, to feed the point of going into self sabotage and of self manipulation to feeding this pattern of "I'm better than them" and then when facing the real point going "fuck now they know, everyone knows, why the fuck bother now. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to therefor compare myself with others within the points I face, through polarizing others processes, to where I've accepted and allowed myself to create self judgement within myself as to what I have accepted and allowed. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to go into postponement within facing myself, through these personalities of "I'm fucking better than them, they are therefor the reason why I can't get through facing myself". Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to go into self sabotage of creating a pouty face, or of crying, to where I know that I am bulls hiring myself, but feed here little faces and these little points of gestures and mannerisms.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus go into memories of this where I have accepted and allowed myself to be a total dick to others, but then when I require facing myself, and when they make it apparent to me, I go into the pouty face, go into the crying, go into self loathing, go into not practically seeing myself within that moment. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus try to blame others and use others as a void and as a point of reference to not face myself within my consequences, to not face myself within and as anger, rage, and that these points are outrageous, are completely unnecessary when I clearly have accepted and allowed them, and thus within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to go into negativity, and the point of positivity to when facing outrageous feelings, and seeing the outrageous circumstances I've accepted and allowed myself to create towards other beings.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus act outrageous, and have created outrage, to the point of where I had accumulated consequences within my environment, to where I thus forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have created a bullshit game with others and have verified this game through not practically facing myself within physical support. Within this,no forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus think I'm better than everyone else, to where I have created this to such and extreme to where I have had very disgusting and dangerous intents towards others, just as a way to protect this point of convenience within wanting power over other human beings. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to therefor fuck around within not actually seeing the super ego of myself, in which I've accepted and allowed myself to not fully remain here and within breath as a principle to showing that my acceptance and allowance of ego, is the point of not seeing really how much of an asshole I am being when I just let myself run free within what is convenient for me. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus not be fully self honest within this fact that I am accepting and allowing these thoughts to exist, and that I am responsible for accepting and allowing these mannerisms, and these abusive behaviors of acting like a raging asshole towards others exist within myself to where it effects these power games and these struggles of wanting to verify times where I've fought and abused others physically. Within this, I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize, that I don't have the time to go and feed my convenience, because any form of easy convenience is just the verification of accepting and allowing myself to make the excuse to not live within and as breath, to trust myself to in fact live within the moment of self responsibility.
Further points of self corrective statements to follow these points.
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