Day 10 - correcting habits

So it seems there are many habits that I seems to loop through on a daily basis, and lately I've noticed them more clearly once I've stopped participating so much. Its not exactly what I'm participating in, but its how I'm approaching these things, from a starting point of escapism, gain, or what ever fulfillment that I receive.

 I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to play video games from the starting point of consumerism, where if I have money, I will want to spend the money on a game when having the chance, even though 7/10 I won't enjoy the game. Thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to percieve games as an experience of gain, or to fill in the gap of shit, instead of enjoying the game I'm playing and buying the game because I actually sincerely intended on wanting to play that game.

 I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to therefor create games, or any of my items as possessions, and then will use ese possessions as in comparison to others who don't have it, really just when I'm particularly upset at the person, and when they use it I purposefully take it away from their access for ego fulfillment. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create video games, music, as a form of escapism.p, or to fill in the GAO again of accomplishing or just generally feeling superior. I will simply want to buy all of this shit for my music, that's in fact very benificial, but its shit because I turn it into this shopping spree of having all of this stuff and then making it at some higher value than what it really is. And thus I forgive yield that I've accepted and allowed myself to as well fill in the gap of missing something within playing music, where I depend on goals, and accomplishing something or playing a complicated song to show everybody how big my dick is with holding a guitar.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to therefor compare myself t others within my items, and within my qualifications.

I forgive myself for creating escapism, like watching YouTube videos and justifying that I'm enjoying the video than to self correct or self write.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself t escape to masturbation, and justify its entirety of self interest after escaping enough and falling for it.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that masturbation is the emotional realese through high simulation mind energy, like with guitar and video games etc.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not investigate myself further through self correction, or stopping masturbation for 21 days and then experimenting with it again.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create sex with food, and thus create my body to crave bad foods when I'm hungry.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to smoke ciggerettes as a form of escapism p, or getting the realese from the drag.

I'm commited to stop all habits through making myself a schedule for responsibilities and gpgenerally what I need to take care of.

I'm commited to investigate myself fired within habits through self corrections when participating in music, video games, cigs. Etc.

I'm commited to not masturbate for 21 days.

I'm commited to become a vegetarian, and study health.

I'm commited to write every morning and every night.

I'm commited to not create a starting point of self interest or denial of this self interest when writing, playing music, etc.

I'm commited to get a job to support myself.

I'm commited to not create others hassling me as a barrier :0(such as my mother and father especially)

I'm commited to focus on myself day in and day out.

I'm commited to do what is best for my self and thus what is best for all through supporting myself, and not be ruled by bad habits.