I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to justify e anxiety from currently experiencing it before.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create this justification to go hide back in the normal patterns, and thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate self responsibility of what I generate as fears, and instead trying to hide and supress the fear, which suppressing the fear is exactly what it sounds like, the fear does not go away, it is still there, just caked with painkillers in the mind, and then when I realize that these painkillers/supressions are bullshit, I become fearful and anxious that it is in fact bullshit.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that this is the cause of why I accepted and allow myself to resist writting, and create the notion that its boring, because I would rather go and hide and supress myself through the exact source of fear that I've accepted and allowed to accumulate.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to then go into making excuses from this layer, and telling myself 'oh well remember I'm confused whether meditation is the answer or not, and writting is but ego driven, when in fact it is my ego telling me ideas to hoodwink from self responsibility of deminishing the pattern.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to currently justify my fear and supress the fearful relationships that I've accepted and allowed.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to relate the fears to how my body is currently feeling now on caffeine from the coffee I had drank earlier.
I'm commited to stop right now, breath, correct myself, go on a walk, and slow my mind down to observe what's happening practically, and not further accumulate bullshit in my mind, and also calm my body down from the caffeine I've consumed.
No comments:
Post a Comment