I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to ever believe that my relationships were something that had to be made up by definitions of trivialities.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus depend on trivialities to understand myself, when in fact Im not even owning myself, but instead being enslaved to what is said by everyone else, which always represents some opening of abuse, and always branches off as an identity to survive within that abuse.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to justify my position in trivialities, and what's universal because the pattern of fear and dependency occurs, and then when I realize that fear is bullshit, I will go and try to find something else to show me otherwise than what is actually my relationship to myself, and my relationships.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that EVERYONE has participated in this system to some extent and aspect, and which all consists of everyone being dishonest with who they were, which is LIfE, and therefor there has been no system provided to support what is best for all life, and therefor I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to value abuse over what is best for all, and be eatin up by consumption, and self interest in all forms, and always find ways to bullshit myself into thinking that somehow it can't be true " oh me, I'm of life, I do not participate as life, but I am in fact a slave to what's universal" and then when I give in, I masturbate. What do you fucking know, everyone in the world has been fucking eachother for thousands of years, and then when I make excuses, and reasons not to be self honest with who I a and what I've accepted and allowed, I wip my fuckin dick out and start fucking myself, to fuck others, and then I'm joining the fucking again.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to it realize or understand that self honesty is exactly that, SELF honesty, not 'you're doing this because others are' honesty, or pretty much where I have to constantly think up what I've heard from bernard, or what ive read frm blogs, instead of actually being self sufficient with myself within each breath, and discovering each dimension, and why I'm deceiving myself, and why I'm making excuses, and why I react to the system in general.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize, that my breath is who I am, and that I have always tried to convince myself otherwise that I'm a definition, that I'm this thought, and that thought.p, when in fact I'm just protecting reactions of fear, COMPLETELY, all experiences that occur through feelings of light and love are fear driven, and thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself, to not understand that fear requires a source to latch onto, to depend on, and therefor me depending on fucking anything in the first places the very thing that causes me to go int self deception, and be manipulated by others, and create bullshit analogies and comparisons etc.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not slow down in these moments and keep practicing breathing, and what in fact breathing allows for me, which is LIVE, I mean fuck is it really any harder than that, is there really any thing else t fucking figure out - sounds like dishonesty to me.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that my process requires my full self, that it is about me, discovering myself, and therefor this requires accepting myself as me, in all aspects, no exceptions, and therefor these exceptions being eliminated require me being self sufficient as life, therefor not reacting in fear t my process, because I'm not depending, I am living.
I'm commited to self forgive in all costs, no matter how much bullshit I try to convince myself with, because in the end, all I have to master is myself, and no one but me will ever stop me living, and understanding who I am as life, because I'm already life, and that's my relationship to everything, therefor, that should be my relationship to mepy mind, but instead I'd repost her be driven by bullshit that doesn't even fucking exist.
I'm commited to be self sufficient, to support myself, to support my body, to support my needs, to support myself n expression, therefor support my environment, and not depend on my environment, therefor not search for depending on people, what bullshit they have to spread, or even what support they have to spread, but make myself as life co existent to life, to the physical, to the universe, and live as that practical example.
I'm commited to therefor accepted myself as myself, to not create bullshit accomplishments to my process, but simply live, discover myself, enjoy my process, investigate myself, and correct myself when I face resistance.
I'm committed to do what is best for myself, and thus instigate reactions, how I relate myself to my environment and others, and to my process itself.
I'm commited to ask for assistance as a last resort, and learn how to fully rely on myself, because after all, I am me, so, its that practical, and I should embrace myself, and breath day in and day out, no exceptions, because I've been doing it this whole time after all.
When I find myself participating in fear, and justifying fear, I will slow down, I will breath, I will investigate myself fully by myself, from self honesty, and strip myself from dependency, and self master through my own corrections, and my own physical practices.
I am life, that is who I've always been, a life form p, in a great big existence of chemistry, and equality, and this world doe snot represent that what so ever.p, and therefor im commited to take self responsibility for myself t ensure that the world changes for apwhats best for all, and thus all of the things that I enjoy that ive allowed to create as selfInterest, can be enjoyed by All, always, there is no limit in equal enjoyment,
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