Day 52 - falling within my physical participations

So It seems after work, I have a pattern of making the excuse that I can 'do whatever I want'. So, I have on my weekly schedule of physical participation t check the Internet for no more than 30 minutes, which ve taken advantage of the Internet as a void tonight, and now I'm up facing the resistance at 6:00 in the morning. So in consequence ill be held back on the points that I found within my physical participation already. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not blog my points out, but instead take advantage of my time by looking up YouTube videos and compulsive fb use. I forgive myself that ive accepted and allowed myself to try to drift off into fantasies and self interest after working, to tr to gain back the emotional attachment of self interest. I forgive myself hat I've accepted and allowed myself to gointo this pattern of compulsive behavior and where I becme in a rush and start obsessing over certain things as the inconsistency and cognitive dissonance that I allow within creating voids and escapism. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to abuse my body and to be me mentally unstable the more I go through this pattern of protecting self interest. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create self sabotage within falling, as if its too late, I'm a failure, only to kee my self trapped within this pattern. I forgive myself that've not accepted and allowed myself to currently breath, relax, understand that I had a fall, and simply now is the time to sleep, and continue my day and start with the schedule again tomorrow and figure out why I had fallen. Thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not follow my schedule tonight, but instead drift off into my mind energy patterns. Thus I'm commited to continue the schedule as is. I'm commited to find myself here in this moment, tired, and needing to sleep. I'm commited to slow myself down and continue breathing. Im commited to wake up at 2:30, drink some coffee, dust my house, play music, write out my ohysical participation within music, work, write my physical participation with working, come home. I'm commited to specifically use the Internet currently at this time after work, and will check the following - fb messages, get off Facebook, check emails, blog, and if I don't pass the 30 minutes when done with bogging, I can listen to music, look at instruments online, watch a video or two on YouTube, basic things I usually use as voids. I'm commited to write after using the Internet as a physical participation, and the points within using the Internet I'm commited to slow down, breath, go to bed.