Expecting attention for my expression as life, to suppress what I essentially not end on manifesting as mind

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear expressing myself without having social repreccusions.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to try to protect the moments when I find myself expressing myself here, through trying to tell others, through trying to give it this attention as ifi need to validate my expression through somebody else telling me its ok.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus not realize that I have compromised my expression throughout my life with protected notions from when others would tell me that what I was doing with no thought at the time was wrong, and so learning that expressing myself was wrong,and then questioning myself within what ever expression I would be making here in the physical reality.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus fear writing, with fear of losing these repreccusions to suppress.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have gone unstable in the past week or two and become in a big rush to try to protect my position of this fear of expression. I'm commited to not makefurther excuses that because I have unlocked this point within what causes me to be unstable, that this must mean I won't become unstable again, or potentially unstable.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize, that in all points of trying to obtain an image or convey an image within my physical expression, will inevitably deminish the physical effectiveness within that expression.

I forgive myself that I've not accepted myself as life within this process of overcoming the point of expecting approval for my expression, and thusi forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have self sabotaged myself as long as I've been within my journey to life process, when I find myself having a reaction, and taking it personal when I have an extended time of deminished expression.

 Forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create self interest within my expression to protect myself from walking through the points of fear, and falls, and conflict, and whatever the outcome may be.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to profess love and light and create beautiful pictures, and en become inevitably less effective within my process due to the fact of trying to protect the situation and version of my mind bubble.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus end up drifting off into delusion when writing, as if I'm getting to some special point within my process where I can fulfill these pictures, and 'finally' fulfill my desires.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that these desires are not an intention of controlling others and beating others from fear of expression, and thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to try to verify my fear relationships through desires.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to make the excuse that I need to help others understand my expression for them to understand their self destruction, and thus I forgive myself that ive accepted and allowed myself to exploit myself within my expression to give myself the energy to compromise others awareness of what I've walked through within this process,and thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to take advantage of what I've walked through, to go and control others and abuse others for the sake of fulfilling a supression from my own expression/self forgiveness statements/ responsibility/art/exercising etc.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to feel uncomfortable wi expressing myself wiout the drive of having others pay attention to me.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus feel guilty for expressing myself here in this physical reality.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to make the excuse, that because its too hard to walk through this point, then I must go and pot things on fb to try to hope that others are like on the same page, to thus create a void of discovering myself, thus this being but another expression, that requires me overcoming having others pay attention to me, verify my expression.

I'm commited to slow down here as breath, and continue investigating this point and slow down my mind from wanting to rush throu the blog..

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to expect someone else to express for me.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus create this attachment to others who are doing it, to create the idea that I will soon be that way.

I forgive myself that I've thus accepted and allowed myself to want to rush through this blog, as the manifestation of my mind wanting to have that quick fix come, that time where ill be one and equal, when I can't even write a blog me and equal without wanting to go off and do something self interested.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create resistance to physical participation, and keep wanting to just have these little last bits of energy to feed my mind.

I forgive myself tht I've accepted and allowed myself to thus relate self interest to my writings to try to get through those points the quickest to gain this goal.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus misconstrue the schedule I've made to help me with physical participation. As diverse events, with one event more fun than the other.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus consider what's best for my mind only, and thus obviously become much less effective within my physical participations, because I'm just trying to protect this energy that isn't real.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus wonder why I have a hard time playing music, when I can't even equally have fun with work, with exercising, its cleaning my house (my schedule.

I forgive myself tht I've accepted and allowed myself t thus create repercussive notions to expression, and thus inevitably create diversity and one being superior than the other expression.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to harm my body over acting compulsive, and even outrageous sometimes, to protect these repreccusions notions, to hold my power that I've accumulated within my mind in relation to the music, the exercising, working, and cleaning my house, and writing my process.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not have utilized this point of instability, but instead continued maki excuses in order to kee me in sefinterestnwithin relation to what I've been confronting.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize, that when I'm rushing through my writing to fulfill a point of accomplishment, I am setting myself up to become unstable again.and to

----- self corrective statements and further self forgiveness will be in part 2 (switched to HTML)