Day 58 - deminishing my relationships through images - realization

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have defined myself as images in relationship to my physical participations.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the moment I incorporate images that the very purpose of what I'm doing gets lost wi the manipulation of images in my mind.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to make excuses to not write about these points to continue trying to protect the convenience from these images in my mind.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create guilt for the very reaction from images, when in fact I'm only feeding the images through creating punishment, which then I run to reward wi images, so its really just a fucking stupid pattern to try to keep alive.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to relate myself to reactions when in situations of being sound others, as a bad person, a nasty person, in terms f this beng like punishment for when I'm reacting to others.

I forgive myself thative accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I'm only relating my self interests that I use to protect myself from others, and his inevitably feel this sense of punishment to thus continue fighting to win and not feel the punishment, again, a stupid fucking pattern to try to keep alive.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to catagorize my patterns and create demented towards my own patterns to manipulate,yield back into continueing the patterns, as labeling them as stupid, thus I forgive myself at I've accepted and allowed myself to self sabotage myself to supress myself from a looking into this further.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create self interest within what I participate in, and thus I forgive myself thative accepted and allowed myself to create self interest within my writing process to keep a Pre convenience  in relationship to what I'm facing, and thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myselfnt create resistance and try to deny my very process simply when I reach inconvenience, and us I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to verify illusion simply because I don't want to walk through losing the stability that drive me to do pretty much anything.

I forgive myself thative accepted and allowed myself to thus catagorize what I'm writing sout in order to keep the light and love feeling alive and generating.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to makers excuse that i will walk through the resistance later in times of facing tough points, and just buying into the love and light.

I forgive myself thative accepted and allowed myself to thus become apathetic within my behavior, because e very giving into the resistance is worthy of what's real, and thus I forgive myself for trying to eep the love and light alive, not realizing that I am lighting up myself with only more outrageous behavior and misdirection, and abuse.

I forgive myself at I've accepted and allowed myself to make the excuse that I can't focus as well because I'm too tired when I find myself coming to terms with my dishonesty, merely because I'm slowing my physical potential down because I'm beggening to lose that mind drive,mthusmi forgive myself that ive accepted and allowed myselfmtomtry to protect this to continue competition from an inferior standpoint, and feeding the very existing fear with supression, not realizing really that I am fuckingmmyself and others.

I'm forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus not realize that my true intent is what I do as a physical being,p in relation to how I move myself within relation to how I use my mind, and thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to take advantage of my mind through exploiting the physical relationship, as if these images I'm creating are better than that relationship, lol, when they aren't even real.

I forgive myself thative accepted and allowed myself to therefor pretend intent with conveying images in my mind, and thus manifesting a less sufficient being here physically, because I'm intending on only fulfilling images that are abstract from the real relationship.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I require learning vocabulary and matching what's herewith that vocabulary, in order to in fact apply it with what is here, us I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowedmyselfto try to validate my preprogrammed vocabulary, and then keep trying to validate the experiences that that vocabulary gives me in my relationships, and then verifying this up to the point of exploiting my sexuality through masturbating from the drive of my mind.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus not realize that in deliberately enslaving myself to others around me, and thus will only become more unstable the more I continue participating in relationships as my mind, and will continue becoming more outrageous the more I keep trying to verify this energy.

I'm commited to redefine my relationship to people, music, exercising, and working as only moving within these relationships with exactly the purpose of that relationship is, and not this abstract illusion of someone watching me, as if its this amazing thing I'm doing, when I'm just fucking living and participating as a living being to what's here.

I'm commited to thus stop categorizing what I'm working with what's here, and thus stop categorizing myself as a being and creating self judgement for the level of abili I'm at with what's here, including my ability of my relationship to utilizing my mind.

I'm commited to thus redefine my relationship with writting as writting for myself as life, and not to gain something and thus best someone simply because im writting myself out. Thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not write myself out here, but write myself out with this idea that specific individuals are going to see what I write, and thus I'm commited to reducing my relationship to challenges, and thus I'm commited to walk through my schedule, regardless of how hard the point gets, and not go into this sort of back up charge of motivating myself through my process by creating voids through what ive judged towards the others as well writing, or Bernard's example and the points I've learned fom him in terms of creating him as superior to me for having discovered these points that I have not yet discovered, and thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to exploit others who have better ability than me, as better than me, not realizing that bernard used his ability for the greater good, which thus I forgivemyselfmfor not using my extent of ability for the greater good, but instead try to control others to supress the inferiority I've created fom simply trying to verify my mind relationships within my process of writing.

I'm commited to start slowing myself down more frequently, and investigating my decisions more, to direct myself for the greater good, step my step within my schedule, and what I find within the decisions I make within the activities I've set for myself in my schedule. Therefor when I find myself lacking physical participation, I will breath, and I will start with - why am I feeling apathetic, why am I wanting to rush, why am I wanting to jockey get this thing over with, writting, music, exercising.

I'm commited to thus not best myself up if I'm cognitive of many points without understanding, and simply breath, and when I find the stable moment, act on the fist point then.

I'm commited to thus not make excuses to verify instability, and thus I'm commited to direct myself to what's best for all as myself being stable as who I am here physically, and not as imagery.