I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear discovering, and investigating my own incompetence in relationship to my partner, to where I then use the point of my partner having these pictures, to where I go into self sabotage of myself, and my points, and then project them onto my partner, and create the fear of her possibly still having emotional connections to her past relationships, and to these specific pictures she has.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus depend on my partner, to tell me how I am as a partner, and to express herself accordingly to my convenience, that would make my mind comfortable within itself, within the awareness of my own incompetence. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus control, and try to control my partner, and limit her self expression, within the point of me wanting to limit my self expression in discovering myself as self expression. Thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to abuse my partner, out of my own unwillingness to take self responsibility in discovering who I am in relationship to myself, and thus my partner.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to her friends/past boyfriends/her, within the fear of expressing myself physically, or building my self expression, and freeing myself from limited self expression. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to judge my partner in my mind, that she wants to be with these other people instead of me, and thus within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my partner, and from others, within these judgements of them "being better than me".
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have defined my relationship to my partner, in a point of "she's mine, and no one else's", without seeing or realizing the construct as to why I actually experience that within myself. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself, to have defined the relationship/agreement as being a partner, as "she's mine, and no one else's.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have defined my partner as "mine" due to me not feeling content with being alone, or with the possibility of me being alone. Thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear being alone, without my partner, out of the fear that I won't be able to "live without her being mine", within the context of wanting to hold on to the personality, emotional relationship I've accepted and allowed myself to create with my partner.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to therefor have created frustration within this point of defining my partner as "mine" within what I have accepted and allowed as personalities/emotions, and thus this frustration occurring towards her, when I see that she has pictures of old partners, or think she may have emotional connections with her past relationships. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have created the point of holding onto these personality relationships, and then when she does something out of the alignment I have created within those personality relationships, such as having pictures of her old partners, going into frustration/blaming her, and then creating potential consequences of attacking her for having these pictures, or doing something out of the personality relationship of "she is mine, no one else's".
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus define my partner as "my girlfriend" within the context that she is the status quo definition of "love/my woman/my love", and thus within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create a point of her being "my love" as a point of her being my property, not seeing and realizing that I am setting myself to limit her self expression when it comes to her wanting certain pictures, or certain connections, and thus within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to limit my self expression as well, by having to hold on to my partner as this void from being able to feel content within myself as a living, and expressive being.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus not work in simply discovering myself, and how I can relate to my partner, as physically supportive, or as physically capable of being self expressive in order to show her her potential in where she expresses herself.
Self corrective statements will continue in the last/3rd part of this blog....
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