So while being here in Denton with my partner, I have experienced some out of hand moments, or where I found it very difficult to stop myself within emotional turmoil/possession. The points I've found is that I have a tendency to go into this out of hand experience point, within losing myself in certain energy participations, or when I didn't stop myself within an energy participation, or point of fear before hand, that could've been directed before the problem occurred, where I had seen things get out of hand.
The point to discover is what fears I have in taking certain measures within stopping myself within the environment I'm around here in Denton, and the fact of being just here with my partner out of my town midland, so therefor I see I'm not really in my minds comfort zone, so that is obviously a factor as well, as to why it can seem harder to stop myself, or generate less experienced fears that accumulate the points that I find difficult to stop I certain situations.
I see that the main point, is pushing through the fear of writting/confronting the fears, when I see myself in a state of "getting out of hand", and within this I see that it is simply the fear of allowing it to get out of hand, from past experiences of when I did let it get out of hand, and therefor the point to discover is where I can direct myself in seeing clearly what I'm facing, and how I go about facing it without the fear of things getting out of hand, through self forgiveness.
I have applied doing physical things, and my partner has been supporting me with doing physical activities - cooking, walking, going places with her, and today we are going to exercise, so a vital point is to not ponder the thought and fear of losing myself, and to remain stable or directive through doing physical activity to see and earth myself with what's here.
I see that when I go into these points of fear of things getting out of hand, I also have a tendency to project those fears onto others, specifically my partner, from the starting point of having relied on them, through abdicating self responsibility, or having gone towards a supportive path within making sure I remained stable. This is a point to see where I can replace the point of projecting my fears onto my partner, into the point of investigating what works for me physically, how I have investigated and confronted the fear, and then working out a supportive conversation with my partner, on how I can better direct myself, within what I've seen and assessed within myself.
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