So in this blog, I'm going to be opening up sources within my environment, within myself, and within the reality of my circumstances in which I've created suppressive definitions of myself to remain stable as the mind and my minds relationship to specific circumstances where I've accepted and allowed myself to feed off of these self definitions as the superior side of myself. Within this, unlocking what I really exist as if I didn't have these suppressive behaviors and definitions, which I will be mentioning one self definition in each part of my redefining stability.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to define myself as "having to be fit and look good with my body ". Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear how I would be treated if I didn't attain this self definition of myself.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to react to the medications I'm on, as the sideffects have been causing me to gain weight inevitably. Within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to define having more fat on me as unattractive, as something that people will judge me and abandon me because I don't "look fit, look attractive"
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to relate how I look to my circumstances, which when faced with more difficult circumstances within myself and my environment, I go to look in the mirror at my body to try to get a feeling of harmony for "being the good looking guy", within is,, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the idea that people will treat me better if I look a certain way, if I'm 'fit' - fit in.
Part 2 to continue
Friday, September 19, 2014
Day 122 - allowing emotions to dictate who I am/following the emotions
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to become emotional/react, and then follow the experience within the context of fearing my own emotions, thoughts, triggers. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to cross reference past consequences in which I had became possessed and followed it. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not slow down, and breath, and step back/let go of the emotions, or take any directive move within my beingness to STOP the participation of such emotions and thoughts.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to become scared of my own thoughts and emotions, under the preconception that the thoughts and emotions are going to manifest, thus within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to imply to myself that I'm separate from my own accepted and allowed thoughts and emotions, and thus becoming scared as if the thoughts and emotions have a separate life force, not seeing and realizing that I am the one who accepts and allows thoughts and emotions when under such experiences.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to become unstable when faced with the negative polarity, to the extent of claiming that I have no willpower to STOP myself, breath, and release the points through self responsibility, self honesty, self forgiveness. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not work on a point of self confidence and strength/writing self forgiveness when in stable moments during my day to day living. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to cross reference with emotions and unstable thinking when faced with the negative polarity.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to blame others for my own acceptances and allowances when faced with the reality of my own thoughts and emotions.
When and as I see myself experiencing emotions and thoughts that become visible, I stop, I do not follow the experience or further allow it, and I breath, I let go of the pattern, and then I take self responsibility through self forgiveness, and self correction. Within this, I see and realize that I am capable of not becoming possessed by my accepted and allowed thoughts or emotions, and can always come back to breath, and understanding that thoughts and emotions will occur, but can always be directed by my beingness, within this also realizing that I require spending as much of my time with physical things, with responsibility to my immediate environment in order to be more effective when facing thoughts and emotions.
I see and realize that I have created and accepted and allowed my own thoughts and emotions, and the chemistry between myself and my outside reality. Within this, when and as I see myself fearing this, or going into wanting to suppress these accepted and allowed relationships, I stop, I breath, and I let go of the fear through self forgiveness and self corrective statements, through doing something physical, to where I can manage myself to where I'm self responsible and equally functional when walking through the experience of what I've accepted and allowed as myself - embrace myself and not run away.
I commit myself to become more attentive to writing, to working with the physical, in order to build that foundation of self honesty, self confidence, and self responsibility, and to use this as a cross reference for stability. Within this, when and as I see myself becoming unstable, I stop, I brea, I slow down, and I go and act on that which assists and supports me, as well as finding what's most helpful in certain circumstances or when facing particular points within myself. Within this, I commit myself to keep myself physically busy throughout each day to support myself to writing more clearly and effectively, and facing my points more clearly and effectively.
I see and realize that I cannot blame others for my own experiences, and that this is but a suppression that compensates within not being willing to actually face myself self honestly as what I experience as thoughts feelings and emotions. Within this, I commit myself to practically remain introspective, understanding that blaming in itself is a Paton that requires work, and so being self aware to let go of blame when facing myself and what I experience.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to become scared of my own thoughts and emotions, under the preconception that the thoughts and emotions are going to manifest, thus within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to imply to myself that I'm separate from my own accepted and allowed thoughts and emotions, and thus becoming scared as if the thoughts and emotions have a separate life force, not seeing and realizing that I am the one who accepts and allows thoughts and emotions when under such experiences.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to become unstable when faced with the negative polarity, to the extent of claiming that I have no willpower to STOP myself, breath, and release the points through self responsibility, self honesty, self forgiveness. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not work on a point of self confidence and strength/writing self forgiveness when in stable moments during my day to day living. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to cross reference with emotions and unstable thinking when faced with the negative polarity.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to blame others for my own acceptances and allowances when faced with the reality of my own thoughts and emotions.
When and as I see myself experiencing emotions and thoughts that become visible, I stop, I do not follow the experience or further allow it, and I breath, I let go of the pattern, and then I take self responsibility through self forgiveness, and self correction. Within this, I see and realize that I am capable of not becoming possessed by my accepted and allowed thoughts or emotions, and can always come back to breath, and understanding that thoughts and emotions will occur, but can always be directed by my beingness, within this also realizing that I require spending as much of my time with physical things, with responsibility to my immediate environment in order to be more effective when facing thoughts and emotions.
I see and realize that I have created and accepted and allowed my own thoughts and emotions, and the chemistry between myself and my outside reality. Within this, when and as I see myself fearing this, or going into wanting to suppress these accepted and allowed relationships, I stop, I breath, and I let go of the fear through self forgiveness and self corrective statements, through doing something physical, to where I can manage myself to where I'm self responsible and equally functional when walking through the experience of what I've accepted and allowed as myself - embrace myself and not run away.
I commit myself to become more attentive to writing, to working with the physical, in order to build that foundation of self honesty, self confidence, and self responsibility, and to use this as a cross reference for stability. Within this, when and as I see myself becoming unstable, I stop, I brea, I slow down, and I go and act on that which assists and supports me, as well as finding what's most helpful in certain circumstances or when facing particular points within myself. Within this, I commit myself to keep myself physically busy throughout each day to support myself to writing more clearly and effectively, and facing my points more clearly and effectively.
I see and realize that I cannot blame others for my own experiences, and that this is but a suppression that compensates within not being willing to actually face myself self honestly as what I experience as thoughts feelings and emotions. Within this, I commit myself to practically remain introspective, understanding that blaming in itself is a Paton that requires work, and so being self aware to let go of blame when facing myself and what I experience.
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
Day 121 - scared of myself, scared of changing old relationships
So it seems that currently I have been faced with the situation of seeing my relationships for real, and realizing how abusive I've accepted and allowed myself to be in these relationships. I have been experiencing allot of resistance, and is resistance comes in the form of freight, of allowing my mind to observe that I'm losing these old habitual patterns, and am at a gate that will only open if I dedicate myself to changing these relationships - emotions, self definitions, the general chemistry that I've used to survive from, to keep my mind stable.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear change, to the point of accepting and allowing the point of "this is too scary, I don't want to face that". Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create a resistance from facing myself, by going into reaction, and not slowing down, breathing, or practically applying self forgiveness to stabilize myself.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be possessed by my mind when facing these relationships, when facing the true nature of self. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create more extensive points through reacting to the point of possession.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not take the time to be stable and write/correct myself as preparation to when facing these points within myself again. Within this I commit myself to over time lay out effective ways of remaining stable, and applying activities, and physical work to bring myself back to breath.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to become confused as to how I should be moving, what I should be doing, and then becoming scared of losing myself in possession, not seeing and realizing that I require developing a support system/physical dependency to help me when in such experiences. Within this, I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to build trust and intimacy with physical things and people/ those in my immediate environment to be able to assist myself to bring myself back here.
When and as I see myself going into reaction to a specific point, or go into the experience of intense discontent, I stop, I breath, and I forgive myself for the experience, and slow down, breath, and allow change to flow and let go of the resistance.
When and as I see myself going into a point of possession of fear, I stop, I breath, and I slow down, work with something, release it through self forgiveness, talk to my support system, and walk through the experience by exposing what had initially caused the intense fear, or the intense emotion.
I commit myself to work with a support system, and build a more effective relationship by doing my part in ensuring that I stay in line with my process, and being honest with those in my immediate environment, and also working with physical things as self support when I require building self intimacy.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear change, to the point of accepting and allowing the point of "this is too scary, I don't want to face that". Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create a resistance from facing myself, by going into reaction, and not slowing down, breathing, or practically applying self forgiveness to stabilize myself.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be possessed by my mind when facing these relationships, when facing the true nature of self. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create more extensive points through reacting to the point of possession.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not take the time to be stable and write/correct myself as preparation to when facing these points within myself again. Within this I commit myself to over time lay out effective ways of remaining stable, and applying activities, and physical work to bring myself back to breath.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to become confused as to how I should be moving, what I should be doing, and then becoming scared of losing myself in possession, not seeing and realizing that I require developing a support system/physical dependency to help me when in such experiences. Within this, I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to build trust and intimacy with physical things and people/ those in my immediate environment to be able to assist myself to bring myself back here.
When and as I see myself going into reaction to a specific point, or go into the experience of intense discontent, I stop, I breath, and I forgive myself for the experience, and slow down, breath, and allow change to flow and let go of the resistance.
When and as I see myself going into a point of possession of fear, I stop, I breath, and I slow down, work with something, release it through self forgiveness, talk to my support system, and walk through the experience by exposing what had initially caused the intense fear, or the intense emotion.
I commit myself to work with a support system, and build a more effective relationship by doing my part in ensuring that I stay in line with my process, and being honest with those in my immediate environment, and also working with physical things as self support when I require building self intimacy.
Day 121 - feeling trapped
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to experience being trapped in my mind, trapped in my body.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to try recovering from the experience through money, through desires, through personalities. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to give up on self responsibility/self honesty when experiencing myself trapped in my own mind, trapped in my body.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that this is my minds way of healing itself through following desired experiences, comforting experiences to feed the mind.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to experience being scared of losing my old habitual relationships, within this experiencing being trapped, with the preconception that if I let go of these old relationships, that I will end up in starving or suffering, or even dead.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to use others within this experience of fearing myself, where I try to hide myself, and use others as a leverage to hold myself up in these old habitual relationships.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to go into panic when confronting these relationships, when realizing that these relationships are in fact what I'm trapping myself within. Within this,
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to experience powerlessness, helplessness, when realizing these old habitual relationships.
I commit myself to open up one specific relationship each day, in which I find relating itself to this experience of feeling trapped in my mind, trapped in my body.
I commit myself to start focusing on physical things that have an equal purpose - what's best for all, what's most supportive for me and my environment. Within this, I see and realize that by initially moving myself with physical things, open up my accepted and allowed limitations/what I've trapped myself within my mind and where I've related this point of being trapped with my own body in regards to the minds chemistry.
When and as I see myself trying to heal myself with desires, with future projections or self admirations, I stop, I breath, and I do not follow this, but instead replace these experiences with what's here, with what I can do physically here.
I see and realize, that these frightening experiences when confronting myself, is simply my mind resisting change, is my mind wanting to heal itself, and trying to hide the true nature of myself within the old habitual relationships. Therefor, when And as I see myself becoming scared, trapped, I stop, I breath, I slow down, I take a walk, have a cigaret, talk to my family and friends, etc. and let go of the experience, and release the stress and fear through that which is here, that which is simple and practically available.
I commit myself to open up the point as to why I latch onto specific people, why I find it difficult to be alone with my own acceptances and allowances, and thus build integrity to where I no longer put my trust in emotional dependence, and reconstruct myself to build physical dependence in replacement.
I commit myself to focus on building back up to a new foundation of what I will and will not accept to be myself, as myself, and within this, facing these intense experiences of fear when facing myself, when realizing myself, when opening up the reality of my relationships.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to try recovering from the experience through money, through desires, through personalities. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to give up on self responsibility/self honesty when experiencing myself trapped in my own mind, trapped in my body.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that this is my minds way of healing itself through following desired experiences, comforting experiences to feed the mind.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to experience being scared of losing my old habitual relationships, within this experiencing being trapped, with the preconception that if I let go of these old relationships, that I will end up in starving or suffering, or even dead.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to use others within this experience of fearing myself, where I try to hide myself, and use others as a leverage to hold myself up in these old habitual relationships.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to go into panic when confronting these relationships, when realizing that these relationships are in fact what I'm trapping myself within. Within this,
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to experience powerlessness, helplessness, when realizing these old habitual relationships.
I commit myself to open up one specific relationship each day, in which I find relating itself to this experience of feeling trapped in my mind, trapped in my body.
I commit myself to start focusing on physical things that have an equal purpose - what's best for all, what's most supportive for me and my environment. Within this, I see and realize that by initially moving myself with physical things, open up my accepted and allowed limitations/what I've trapped myself within my mind and where I've related this point of being trapped with my own body in regards to the minds chemistry.
When and as I see myself trying to heal myself with desires, with future projections or self admirations, I stop, I breath, and I do not follow this, but instead replace these experiences with what's here, with what I can do physically here.
I see and realize, that these frightening experiences when confronting myself, is simply my mind resisting change, is my mind wanting to heal itself, and trying to hide the true nature of myself within the old habitual relationships. Therefor, when And as I see myself becoming scared, trapped, I stop, I breath, I slow down, I take a walk, have a cigaret, talk to my family and friends, etc. and let go of the experience, and release the stress and fear through that which is here, that which is simple and practically available.
I commit myself to open up the point as to why I latch onto specific people, why I find it difficult to be alone with my own acceptances and allowances, and thus build integrity to where I no longer put my trust in emotional dependence, and reconstruct myself to build physical dependence in replacement.
I commit myself to focus on building back up to a new foundation of what I will and will not accept to be myself, as myself, and within this, facing these intense experiences of fear when facing myself, when realizing myself, when opening up the reality of my relationships.
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
Day 120 -" feeling good" from the medication to not take self responsibility
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to make the excuse, that because the psychosis shot makes my physical body feel relaxed, and the numbing aspect of having chosen to get this type of treatment, that I do not have to take self responsibility, to still remain self aware at all times how the mind operates, where I'm lacking, where I abuse. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to relate how I feel mentally to "well, I don't feel like causing harm to others, so therefor, no need to follow self honesty or responsibility.
I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to use how the medication makes me feel as a point of self support, as a point of using that medicated feeling as a point to self investigate within my relationships that I face daily.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize, that by taking these sedative medications, that I am walking the consequence where these points which I've accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as separation, are in fact going to compound. Within this, I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to still place my writings, my physical application within walking the points and circumstances that I'm still able to, and understanding that these medications are simply a handicap to support myself to be able to function daily in a society that requires my attentiveness, vis versa.
I commit myself to take accountability equally as if I was not medicated, and to investigate how the medications coincide with my day to day living, within this continuing to build up to functioning in day to day living with making sure that I have a reference of self awareness that I can work on in each relationship.
I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to use how the medication makes me feel as a point of self support, as a point of using that medicated feeling as a point to self investigate within my relationships that I face daily.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize, that by taking these sedative medications, that I am walking the consequence where these points which I've accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as separation, are in fact going to compound. Within this, I forgive myself that I've not accepted and allowed myself to still place my writings, my physical application within walking the points and circumstances that I'm still able to, and understanding that these medications are simply a handicap to support myself to be able to function daily in a society that requires my attentiveness, vis versa.
I commit myself to take accountability equally as if I was not medicated, and to investigate how the medications coincide with my day to day living, within this continuing to build up to functioning in day to day living with making sure that I have a reference of self awareness that I can work on in each relationship.
Day 120 - believing I can control others
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to resort to the idea that I can control others behaviors, control/trigger them in certain ways, when facing anger, facing more intense points within myself. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear being called out for the points in which I've accepted and allowed myself to use as to try and attempt to control and abuse others as life.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to act out deliberate personalities as a way to prevent from this point of being called out for my shit, to impede my self awareness, or impede others from being aware as to who I've accepted and allowed myself to really exist in and as abusive.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to go into fear when facing this point, within trying to defend the memories of when I had believed to such an extent that I can control others through different personalities. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to accumulate the idea that I am god, or that I am capable of manipulating my environment to suit my self interests.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus burden others within trying to manipulate them just so that I don't have to face myself, face the accepted and allowed systems in which I've accepted and allowed myself to 'naturally' take advantage of life, of others.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to beLIEve that I am capable of reading others personalities. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to use others personalities/what's 'made apparent' as a way to try to survive within 'reading them' not seeing and realizing the consequence of abuse accumulated within both parts of them and myself as life.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus deliberately attempt to create external conflict with others, to try to bring them within a point of conflict as the reflection that I've accepted and allowed myself to exist in and as anger.
When and as I see myself deliberately trying to use others as a point to fight my mind, to accumulate the points through the beLIEf that I can control others, I stop immediately, I breath, and within this, coming back to reality, coming back to the real relationship that is required to assist and support the other person within initially laying out what's most supportive for myself within that moment. Within this, I equally commit myself to stop fucking around with points through flirting with them with firer delusion, and face here points practically, as this is ensuring self responsibility and consideration for those I had tried to abuse through the beLiEf that I could control them.
I commit myself to stop deliberately acting out personalities to suppress the reality of my thoughts, and to instead make these points apparent in terms of breathing through them, in terms of making sure I'm as stable as possible when around others, and facing the consequences within that which I make apparent to others.
I see and realize that I can not manipulate things to suit my self interests, and hat the physical proves this as false, within this, I see and realize hat when having experienced this idea of being like a 'god' that it was simply an avoidance of breathing, of release anger through self forgiveness, and practically coming to terms with the consequences I had manifested when having arrived at the mental hospital, within that environment trying to survive within my own delusion. Within this, I commit myself to further investigate daily as to what I had experienced at the mental hospital, to ensure I do not further accumulate the points I used as survival within the mind.
I commit myself to face the burden in which I had deliberately tried to abuse others within this beLIEF that I could manipulate them. Within this, I commit myself to face what I've preprogrammed into myself as a manipulative system towards others to not have faced the anger within myself when at the mental hospital.
I see and realize the extent in which I am willing to abuse just to gain my own satisfaction within like vs like. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want to fulfill positive energy through the idea that I could manipulate other personalities. Within this, I commit myself to focus on this point daily, as to ensure that I do not further attempt this ever again.
I commit myself to further remain assertive and introspective with whatever reactions which occur that I experienced at the mental hospital, and to debunk these falsities and come back to stability and reality within my environment here at home.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to act out deliberate personalities as a way to prevent from this point of being called out for my shit, to impede my self awareness, or impede others from being aware as to who I've accepted and allowed myself to really exist in and as abusive.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to go into fear when facing this point, within trying to defend the memories of when I had believed to such an extent that I can control others through different personalities. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to accumulate the idea that I am god, or that I am capable of manipulating my environment to suit my self interests.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus burden others within trying to manipulate them just so that I don't have to face myself, face the accepted and allowed systems in which I've accepted and allowed myself to 'naturally' take advantage of life, of others.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to beLIEve that I am capable of reading others personalities. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to use others personalities/what's 'made apparent' as a way to try to survive within 'reading them' not seeing and realizing the consequence of abuse accumulated within both parts of them and myself as life.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus deliberately attempt to create external conflict with others, to try to bring them within a point of conflict as the reflection that I've accepted and allowed myself to exist in and as anger.
When and as I see myself deliberately trying to use others as a point to fight my mind, to accumulate the points through the beLIEf that I can control others, I stop immediately, I breath, and within this, coming back to reality, coming back to the real relationship that is required to assist and support the other person within initially laying out what's most supportive for myself within that moment. Within this, I equally commit myself to stop fucking around with points through flirting with them with firer delusion, and face here points practically, as this is ensuring self responsibility and consideration for those I had tried to abuse through the beLiEf that I could control them.
I commit myself to stop deliberately acting out personalities to suppress the reality of my thoughts, and to instead make these points apparent in terms of breathing through them, in terms of making sure I'm as stable as possible when around others, and facing the consequences within that which I make apparent to others.
I see and realize that I can not manipulate things to suit my self interests, and hat the physical proves this as false, within this, I see and realize hat when having experienced this idea of being like a 'god' that it was simply an avoidance of breathing, of release anger through self forgiveness, and practically coming to terms with the consequences I had manifested when having arrived at the mental hospital, within that environment trying to survive within my own delusion. Within this, I commit myself to further investigate daily as to what I had experienced at the mental hospital, to ensure I do not further accumulate the points I used as survival within the mind.
I commit myself to face the burden in which I had deliberately tried to abuse others within this beLIEF that I could manipulate them. Within this, I commit myself to face what I've preprogrammed into myself as a manipulative system towards others to not have faced the anger within myself when at the mental hospital.
I see and realize the extent in which I am willing to abuse just to gain my own satisfaction within like vs like. Within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want to fulfill positive energy through the idea that I could manipulate other personalities. Within this, I commit myself to focus on this point daily, as to ensure that I do not further attempt this ever again.
I commit myself to further remain assertive and introspective with whatever reactions which occur that I experienced at the mental hospital, and to debunk these falsities and come back to stability and reality within my environment here at home.
Saturday, August 2, 2014
Day 119 - reacting to stern/assertive mannerisms/resonance
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to react to stern/assertive mannerisms/resonance.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have judged S. when manifesting stern/assertive mannerisms/resonance, while not seeing where had judged myself in relationship to a stern/assertive mannerism/resonance.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to go into negative backchat when hearing sternness/assertiveness.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to go into predetermining a 'positive intent' when hearing someone express sternness/assertiveness.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus protect my position that I've accepted and allowed as positive energy within hearing a stern/assertive mannerism/resonance.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have deliberately placed myself in the position of backchat, by searching youtube videos which thus, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to feed consciousness through watching others play video games online.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to make the excuse that "they're just mean, so I don't require writing about it"
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to abuse my immediate environment/relationships through entertaining backchat with others talking/ expressing stern/assertive mannerisms/resonance.
When and as I see myself reacting to sternness/assertiveness as negative, I stop, I breath, and I investigate where I have placed myself win the position in context to the reaction using the 'one point method'(writing 3 paragraphs about one detail within the participated Patton) initially.
I see and realize, that S. was practically expressing sound, in which I reacted to as 'stern', within the context of memories within relationship to sternness negatively.
I commit myself to always be here within and as breath, to confront all backchat in relationship to sternness, to assure I'm equally assertive to always remain introspective, and always seeing and investigating the point/Patton in which with doing this, it am creating the only effective tool in solving a reaction to sternness/assertiveness, by using outside assertiveness as self support within using this tool.
I commit myself to not overthink the point of sternness to suppress the reaction, but to always remain here, inevitably thus introspective, to when I react to sternness/assertiveness.
I see and realize that any point of protection, is in fact abusive, and must require assisting myself with physical support/self confrontation clearly, assertively, while equally remaining calm/here as breath.
I see and realize, that when searching/placing myself in and as positivity/abusive, that I will inevitably react to mannerisms, and thus self judgements, within this, I commit myself to once a day, watch a youtube video, any one at random, to write out with the 'one point method' within the reactions I potentially accept and allow when watching them.
I commit myself to stop fucking around and remain self responsibility as breath here, within this, building after deconstructing and disclosing points of self limitation that I've accepted and allowed myself to trap myself in the polarities of positive and negative, in relationship to stern/assertive mannerisms/resonance.
I commit myself to within these self corrective statements, remain humble at all times/in breath, within my current process, to support building relationships with those in my immediate environment, yet self introspective/assertive.
I commit myself to investigate with the 'one point method', within my accepted and allowed reaction to assertive expressions from others.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have judged S. when manifesting stern/assertive mannerisms/resonance, while not seeing where had judged myself in relationship to a stern/assertive mannerism/resonance.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to go into negative backchat when hearing sternness/assertiveness.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to go into predetermining a 'positive intent' when hearing someone express sternness/assertiveness.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus protect my position that I've accepted and allowed as positive energy within hearing a stern/assertive mannerism/resonance.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have deliberately placed myself in the position of backchat, by searching youtube videos which thus, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to feed consciousness through watching others play video games online.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to make the excuse that "they're just mean, so I don't require writing about it"
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to abuse my immediate environment/relationships through entertaining backchat with others talking/ expressing stern/assertive mannerisms/resonance.
When and as I see myself reacting to sternness/assertiveness as negative, I stop, I breath, and I investigate where I have placed myself win the position in context to the reaction using the 'one point method'(writing 3 paragraphs about one detail within the participated Patton) initially.
I see and realize, that S. was practically expressing sound, in which I reacted to as 'stern', within the context of memories within relationship to sternness negatively.
I commit myself to always be here within and as breath, to confront all backchat in relationship to sternness, to assure I'm equally assertive to always remain introspective, and always seeing and investigating the point/Patton in which with doing this, it am creating the only effective tool in solving a reaction to sternness/assertiveness, by using outside assertiveness as self support within using this tool.
I commit myself to not overthink the point of sternness to suppress the reaction, but to always remain here, inevitably thus introspective, to when I react to sternness/assertiveness.
I see and realize that any point of protection, is in fact abusive, and must require assisting myself with physical support/self confrontation clearly, assertively, while equally remaining calm/here as breath.
I see and realize, that when searching/placing myself in and as positivity/abusive, that I will inevitably react to mannerisms, and thus self judgements, within this, I commit myself to once a day, watch a youtube video, any one at random, to write out with the 'one point method' within the reactions I potentially accept and allow when watching them.
I commit myself to stop fucking around and remain self responsibility as breath here, within this, building after deconstructing and disclosing points of self limitation that I've accepted and allowed myself to trap myself in the polarities of positive and negative, in relationship to stern/assertive mannerisms/resonance.
I commit myself to within these self corrective statements, remain humble at all times/in breath, within my current process, to support building relationships with those in my immediate environment, yet self introspective/assertive.
I commit myself to investigate with the 'one point method', within my accepted and allowed reaction to assertive expressions from others.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)