Day 1 - my journey to life

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create openings within my self writing process as merely ways of self interest, or energy points through self interest. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not live here as life, and have always approached my self responsibilities as energy instead of physically approaching it and kniwing that that expression means everything I forgive myself that ive accepted and allowed myself to thus leave all e openings of allowing my mind to possess my being completely again, therefor falling back into the habits and behaviors which my mind generates. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow my mind to manipulate me through fear of it losing its own existence. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that our minds easily will manipulate us in all sorts of ways to prevent us from seeing that we are not a fucking mind, but that we are here, in this physical reality. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to let my mind tell me what's valid and invalid through see fears, thus creating doubt in my self writing and process. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to relate my environment which my mind relates in the first place, as who I am. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow my mind to tell me that this environment which I experience is FACT, DONT SELF FoRGIVE, don't free yourself, IM RIGHt, THe SYSTEM is right, fuck those who are willing to support you, they are bullshi ting the,selves, and you fucking need me! I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to let my mind tell me this all of my life. Tell me that fear is who I am. Tell me that I'm inferior, and those around you are there to fuck you, and its ok when they return some pleasure, and guess what, because of this you are going to fuck them too. I forgive myself that I've therefor accepted and allowed myself to depend on external knowledge to gain answers of who I am, thus allow my mind to decieve me that these positions that the philosophers put themselves in should tell me that I don't know me, that I must obey there position, that its impossible for me to be self honest. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to therefor try to be aggressive when sharing information with others. That I am active within my statements, only because I fear myself losing myself, when I'm not letting myself just live, just walk as life through each breath, but instead as a fucking ego that must survive. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to therefor limit myself within my expression. To limit the opportunity that my physical body could accomplish for the betterment of me and everyone. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to get a releasing feeling within these statements due to my mind still possessing me with fear that I might buy into my minds deception again. Therefor I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create my self destruction only opened again because I accepted and allow my mind to tell me what's real still, and let my mind survive and still exist. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to let what my minds gathered and manipulated therefor manipulate my reality, thus manipulating what is e common sense thing to do, which is take self responsibility through eliminating what's manipulating my self thus others as life in the first place. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to therefor not take full responsibility, but procrastinate and thus expect others t give me the knowledge for the fact that I'm dishonest in my self responsibility as life, thus only keeping this openi of falling back into the deceptions and manipulations which my mind creates. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to let my mind tell me when self writing is boring and when its not for e sake of its existence. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have ever let my mind define my expression, and what I'm experiencing within that expression. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to therefor let my mind tell me what my physical body is experiencing and expressing.s I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have let my mind define my interests, what I create within e physical from the physical. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow polarity and ego to define my aspirations and my relationships with others win those aspirations. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus be an introverted character within the spectrum of my mind. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow my environment to create me as an introverted person, who escapes to anything which can hide from everyone else. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that this introversion only but creates myself to be manipulative towards my own destruction, and thus I will manipulate others for the benefit of fulfilling my introverted reality. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to therefor create my expressions as a point of supression g the agreement which I've accepted and allowed for the fact that I use these expressions as ways to keep my ego alive and secret. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to let my expressions be limited by a system of character, as a way of being able to protect the foundation of my character, what has been presented to me, thus masking what I fear through the opposite, inevitably failing for the fact that it is fear driven, and limited, and therefor as long as I 'live' I will never actually live in full expression unless I rid myself of this limitation of introversion which my ego itself protects. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to want to protect my ego through drawing out the future of not being introverted, thus going towards the other character of extroverted, or where I 'will' accomplish everything, and will take care of myself, thus this being the exact fucking thing that's kept me I traversed in the first place. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to therefor use my writing process as introversion. Where I will make it this special little way of sharing myself with everyone so they can support me for being 'extroverted' and so nowi have nothing to fear and everything will get better now. Therefor I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have never looked at myself as life and ever did anything as that expression, but merely to survive under some bullshit triviality that doesn't exist. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty or frightened how I depth my introversion is, and fearing that I will go into these acts again, thus only escalating the triviality of polarity and ego through self sabotaging myself and to but be a defense mechanism for self interest. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to approach everything from self interest, from fear, from what could've and what could hopefully now. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not breath when these escalated thoughts arrive, and apply self honesty. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate fear for the sake of feeding it energy in the future. Only to procrastinate my journey to life. I am committed to not run to any form of escapism which involves my mind reacting to my self responsibility points. I am committed to not run to guilt, to self sabotage, to masturbation, or anything that is an opening which creates my physical expression as the mind. When my mind begins to escalate I breath and apply self forgiveness, I do not procrastinate, I do not create points of procrastination simply because I don't want to confront my ego for the sake of my ego in the first place. I am committed to not generate the feeling of bordem when I realize that I'm living physically within my expression, and breath and realize that that very expression is me, and otherwise my ego tells me that I'm getting bored because I'm not feeding my ego the energy it wants. I a, committed to not create energy or self interest within my process for my mind to but manipulate again and cause me to loop again back to the point of self trauma. I am committed to not allow my environment to relate to me as a physical bro, and understand that I'm there as a physical being, not my reaction, and that that's me experiencing breathing, not the ridiculous thoughts that instantaneously manifest within my mind.