Day 2 - distrusting my physical, manipulating my physical participation through ego.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be defined by the notion that there must be something 'missing' within self honesty, or within my process. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the process itself is the only thing necessary to living. It is where on breaths and self directs oneself to life through applying tools which eliminate the mind which has manipulates us into false solutions which only benefit, and thus circulate the mind conciousness system. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow my mind conciousness system to influence my physical realizations and expressions through trying to convince me that my process is false, and using manipulation through bulks hit knowledge that I've accepted and allowed that there's always something missing. Well the only thing missing is dishonesty that I'm a living organism, and that I choose to therefor miss everyone in regards to the physical for the fact that my mind defines what is valid and invalid. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create this notion that self forgiveness is me barreling my mind, and that I'm fearing the mind, thus I must protect myself from my mind. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that this in itself is my mind trying to manipulate me into thinking that the fact that I'm self forgiving myself is fear driven, which that in itself shows that I allow my mind to operate my reality physically, and influence myself as what physical expression is and isn't. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to therefor create my self writing and breathing to a way of defense at times against my mind, when really it is my mind protecting itself and manipulating my self direction and breathing as itself. I'm committed to stop and actually breath when I find myself in and as the mind, and investigate myself when fear arrives when I begin to breath. I'm committed to not accept and allow my mind to define my decisions or statements, and to self direct myself when I find my mind escalating as through writing. I'm committed to live and express as a physical being and breath in each moment of expression, and thus understanding that that breath in itself is me, and that anything abstract is but my mind manipulating me to follow its rules to keep it surviving. I'm committed to not confuse self direction with ego, and merely a tool which brings me back here to discover that I'm not the mind, and through this I must apply self honesty to do so, for self honesty is self confronting myself as an ego, and telling myself that that isn't me, and that what's TRUE and HONEST is that I'm an organism.