My mind possesses me sometimes, and sometimes it doesn't

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create openings where "sometimes I will take self responsibility, but sometimes I won't because its ok if my ego takes over alittle bit"

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that this notion within itself creates me vulnerable within my physical expression in itself. That I can't slee without knowing that I'm allowing my ego to stay existent, or do really anything without knowing that Im still accepting and allowing my ego to stay existent.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to therefor create the notion in defense to this that "well I'm already getting used to self forgiveness, yep I'm better now", due to bring in fear of my ego within itself, and thus my ego creating this fear to drive my reason to take self responsibility in the first place. Therefor I leave the openings of "when my ego can come in" because Im accepting and allowing my ego to tell me when I can or can't transcend, therefor Im not even near living as life if I continue to have all of these deminsions of accepting and allowing my ego to control me, so why the fuck am I saying that " oh yeah I'm good now fuck self forgiveness because I've got tsp his shit down"

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not self direct myself through writing or physically, but instead allowing thoughts and self interest to escete and telling myself "it's ok ill confront that latter, I'm busy with my 'physical expression' write now, thus creating that moment of expression as self interest to protect my ego within itself.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that this takes time, that I have fuck tns of layers which my ego has created through manipulating the tru that I'm life, therefor it will take breath by breath through years to self direct myself through these layers from self honesty, and that I must continue each breath, and my writing to empower myself as life, and not let my ego only keep, or escalate the layers to keep it surviving.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to therefor tell myself  "well this is all invalid then because now I'm saying I actually have to take self responsibility and self write" thus this being the reaction from my ego that " I will only continue fucking you deeper and deeper the more you apply self forgiveness and self honesty", thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to it realize that in order to deminsions this happening, is through self honesty, and to stop the back chat or manipulations, and the intensity that these effect my being, is to in all circumstances self direct, and breath.

I'm committed to self direct myself unconiditonally wiout my egos say.

I'm committed to not accept and allow myself to escalate thoughts of doubt or self interest which my ego creates to prevent me from physically directing self responsibility.

I'm committed to not direct myself as "having an ego" but as being self honest that that ego which I've accepted and allowed is non existent, and directing myself is merely bei self honest with this fact.

I'm committed to breath, and realize that I'm here, and all of the bullshit thoughts and self interests is merely a hallucination which I accept and allow as myself, and that the breathing and self directing is but a way of becoming aware that I'm here, and has fucking nothing to do with gaining anything, or winning against anything.

I'm committed t not allow myself to compare my progress to thoughts, to not acknowledge it within the coexistence of an ego, thus I'm committed to walk my process as life, and not as an ego.