Day - 7 Laziness ,and procrastination, isolation

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be lazy.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have to "want' to take self responsibility.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to tell myself "well you can do it later, for now let's go do something funnier, thus procrastinating my self responsibility and therefor as well procrastinating my potential for taking self responsibility for the betterment of myself as life.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty when I realize that I'm procrastinating, or being lazy, and supress is guilt rou escapism, or through escalating ought a of guilt and putting myself down wi other things that are universal to me.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to therefor become power hungry when these inferior feelings generate, where I will go into these thoughts that "I've always 'failed', therefor I won't be able to stick throu this, and others will know about it", thus I will watch YouTube videos, or play video games, or just find any source of self internship, or maybe tak to someone to KILL time, when I could've been self honest and applied myself o do what's best for myself as life.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have to get to points of having to understand that what I'm doing within this procrastination of writing my self forgiveness is only but delaying my self change to do what's best for all, and is the reason why there is abuse in this world, until of course it becomes our reality, or I will have to be told this, or showed how fucked up the world is to et the drive, therefor I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to only take self responsibility when it universally effects me when being presented to me.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to escalate thoughts of guilt and self punishment within any situation that I've made my self vulnerable to, instead of breathing - and when I have the opportunity - write in my journal and free myself within the given situation that I'm participating in and accepting and allowing.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to isolate myself for the sake of fearing that I will feed into mind energy from being around others, which essentially is just the fear of myself losing my selfINTEREST wonder their circumstances, and creating the need to survive win these old relations as an ego.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to worry how others will react to what I'm doing, or my jesters or what I'm saying, specifically those who I've all ways welt the need to survive under there egos, or those who I've accepted and allowed myself to be intimidated by from past experiences of accepting and allowing the manipulation towards my expressions I did around them, where they would point out every little thing I would do by aggressiveness or straight up telling me "that's stupid, that's weird" etc. therefor I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be defined as jestures, as this side effect of polarity of how I do things, within this constant theory that how I say things or look to others within my expressins is off putting.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to abuse my animals from this reflection, where when I'm playing with my cat, it will be fine until he may want to get away or is playing rough, and I take it as irritating and tense up or become more aggressive within playing. Or I will talk down towards the dog since my life growing up with my dog I've vented my self destruction toward her because it is an immediate point of being ale to bully the dog for it being very much smaller than me.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself  to be defined as a loser, lazy, weird, a failure, and thus pay attention to absolutely al of these thoughts that I accept and allow to generate as these side effects of polarity, and therefor create the urg to have to present myself as superior within my environment, and erector inevitably only am trying to manipulate and decieve my environment to the standards of my self being tough to it.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that this is how the law of attraction works. You look at the opposite or same sex, and because you feel insecure about yourself, you fee the need to look superior to them because the acceptance and allowance of exploiting their body image as the reflection of what you would want as yourself in others eyes - generally something of superiority within persona.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to involve the law of attraction within my music, within playing sports, or playing online video games, or just anything that's skill based, and try to create my participation within someone I'm enjoying as something that needs to Abe the side effect of "oh look at me and how well I'm doing", thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I put myself at the deep end within these things, due to feeling the need to compete and win within it, instead of enjoying the games or music or whatever I'm doing as an expression of enjoyment as life within the co-existence of my environment which participates in it equally.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to put my self in the deep end with all of these layers of self sabatog through communication. I will therefor feel some form of vulnerability when talking to strangers, or within desteni, or within my family etc. where I feel as if I'm doing something wrong, therefor I become paranoid. It's funny therefor that I always want to get away from strangers, because I've made them into a universal reflection of me, and therefor am terrified of this because I know dee down that they hold their ego as something completely foriegn to mine, and thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to relate human beings to me as 'good' people and 'bad' people, thus trying to protect myself win strangers co-existences, and creating this sensation of happiness or sadness/superiority or inferiority, when the conversation with a stranger goes 'good' or 'bad'

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to therefor create my friends as strangers in the beggenung, therefor at this moment in time have been isolating myself from the,l because realizing that my ego in co-existence to theirs was never really us as equals, it was always this bullshit relationship and I've accepted and allowed it to define our relation, therefor creating them as a stranger to me for the fact that I've been self honest, and have been unacceoting to let go of that relation and therefor I isolate myself from talking to them from the starting point of what I originally tried to protect win thin these specific relations.

I therefor forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be unacceoting of change within all of what I've related myself to. My music, my diet, my Heath, etc. and therefor using these procrastinations as a way to protect these illusion art relationships.

I'm committed to investigate myself when involved with music, or games, or when talking to people etc. and breathi and writing to commit to this investigation, to find out the different dimensions of self interests which influence my perception towards how I relate myself towards my environment

I'm committed to not feel guilty or escalate confusion when I investigate or begin ,y process of identifying abuse and self interest, but instead practicing breathing and find myself here and continue my self investigation/self responsibility.

I'm committed to not procrastinate my investigations by trying to rush, or get it over with so I can only therefor go run to my self interests again.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to try to get my self writing process 'over with' to therefor only supress what I've fet guilty about as my ego, and therefor only leaving an inevitable opening of procrastination and self sabatog again.

I'm committed to breath when I escalate thoughts of self sabotage, and find myself within my participations as simply a living co-existence to that environment.