Day 8 - allowing my mind to accumulate further, and almost being in favor

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself, that when I wake up, I will be cam, and then when I trigger certain patterns, I allow these patterns to trigger further without writining, out, thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to have the notion, that I 'must' write once I've accumulated the patterns to a more overwehlming point, therefor is fear driven pattern being the cause of why I have the notion of 'must' write, because I've already accepted and allowed my self to create diversit within the process of writing. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to thus create the fears and accumulated energy when I'm writing, for this cause from the accumulated fears before. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, and understand that all of these fears I'm accepting and allowing to accumulate, are but me trying to gain attention from my environment through the patterns of wha I've accepted and allowed to accumulate from the very foundation that I've accepted and allowed my relation to my environment be diverse, thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create some form of accumulation within all forms of relationships, and not have them as momentary expressions, but instead always have to implement some sort of diverse position. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not compare sleeping to when I am awake, where when I'm sleeping, I experience how I really am awake, and this it is a good point to write once I wake up, especially when I have intense dreams (when I take melatonin they're much more intense), s I can open myself up to more dishonest points within my programming, and unlock these points an bring myself further grounded here, away from accumulated concious fear patterns. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to suppress these ear patterns through going and doing something else, as a way of distracting myself from self honesty, and therefor only making myself much more potentially vulnerable to accepting these fear patterns, and thus accumulating them in relation to the physical, and then preventing myself to slow down and breath within the moment I'm experiencing. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accumulate fears within my enjoyments and responsibilities, where I will not breath within my art, and enjoy the music I'm playing, but instead accumulate fear, and then begin categorizing everything, and then almost missing the whole point of what it means to play music, as well with writing, where I will be writing, it is all cool, and then I will somehow have to create this fear, which all of this deriving from a fear of losing, the competition, because after all I'm creating polarity within my mind as I'm expressing, which therefor I limit myself from actually enjoying the moment I thin writing, and therefor accepted and allowed myself to accumulate the feelings, and cont us the patterns. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not slow down when I accumulate these patterns, and therefor as I'm writing either get in a rush to write my fears, or either begin a rush to finish. Thus I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be controlled by fear within writing, instead of breathing and writing the details out that are necessary within my writing, t in fact stop these patterns, and thus through stopping these patterns as fears, and to bring me back here, It requires bringing myself back here within the expression of writing, and not fearing writing, which is really just my fear driving me to justify its own existence. When I find myself creating the patterns of fears within my expressions, I will slow down firstly, I will observe myself as here in he ohysical, and I will breath while doing this, and then stop and go write, or when in circumstances of being busy, I will state self forgiveness. When I find myself diverging myself from writing, as this must thing, I will slow down, I will breath, and I will understand that this is all but from the fears accepting their accumulated energies, and thus me accepting the sterns the fears create, for I enjoy the fears, because it is what holds my self interests, it is what I have been built upon, and therefor it is where I can accumulate the same patterns which these fears manifest as who I am, and define me. When I find myself participating in the mind, in terms of actually allowing these patterns to accumulate, and accepting the energy as who I am, I will slow down, and breath, and find myself here in the physical in equal relationship within what I was already doing, and not over think it to but defend my minds fear response, but to sit down and write out the details, and understand that writing out these details should not be a way of suppressing, or confusing me, because writing, Nd stating self forgiveness is the words which represent that I'm here one and equal with my environment, and that there is no forcing, there is no tug war within what I'm experiencing, because everything is working in chemistry to keep me coexistent, as it is chemistry to write myself, and enjoy that coexistent relationship, as I coexist with all other relationships. I'm committed to not write for the sake of fear driven writing, but write as a point of self expression, and expressing myself in the physical, and find cool ways to observe how this relates to sleeping, to eating, to shifting, to excersising, to letting my animals, etc.